oh, no apoligies Mayflower! nothing to be sorry for at all. i don't think you said anything that was offensive in any way at all. if you hadn't brought it up and asked about it, i would have - and i would have asked the other things i asked anyhow.Read More...

Thank you so much!! mlcRead More...

I just added a Free eCourse on getting through transference - it's a developmental perspective. Currently, there's no sign in required and yes, no strings attached. (Just so you know this is one of the ways I promote my mind-body approach to transference in the Therapy Bootcamp program.)Read More...

(((TAS))) This was my T's reason for the no email policy: You're right, my T is a good, sound therapist. Which is why I hope I can work through this. (((AG))) I think you're right. As I talked about abandonment yesterday, I felt my childhood losses so profoundly. I knew it was bad, but I didn't know just how much I had blocked off mentally and emotionally. Coming face-to-face with the depth of it nearly threw me into despair. I know I need to talk about this stuff. I will try. (((TN)))...Read More...

Thank you so much ((((DRAGGERS)))). I know what needs to be done. Struggling with all of it. I wish I had someone to share this painful journey with, to talk to about it, but looking back.. .I cannot believe how much I struggled silently with in this therapeutic journey. Things I haven't shared with T because I know she just won't help me anyway. She will not give me the things I need... in ways, she just complicates the whole journey even more. I feel oddly alone.Read More...

it's interesting to read all of your thoughts and experiences with anxiety. welcome, (((LTB))) and thanks for sharing! alas, no, i don't speak Spanish outside of a handful of words. although I can understand it, i don't relate too much with your "brand" of anxiety, but i do appreciate you sharing your experiences and find it interesting to see how it affects people differently. (((kmay))) it's good to see you posting again. I also run when anxious, but i run inside of myself and hide in...Read More...

Thank you LilTeaBag And GG I am glad the ICU analogy soothed you LilTeaBag...it did me too actually. I am working on the emailing. It is good for me. Just have to find the time...after my kids go to bed if I have any energy left! lolRead More...

Hi Anna. Im a new member but ive read your post... What a horrible person your T is. I dont know you but im so angry at him for acting like that and leaving you like this. I hope you can gather strength and find a new T very soon. I hope u are doing ok, please fight and don't let this bring you down (i mean i know it's done already, but please try to come up). Your value has nothing to do with the horrible attitude of that T. You deserve better. Pls give us news...Read More...

This is good to know, and comforting to read. I fit it most of the described points. I had never really thought about my Dad's drinking as a potential trigger/cause for my issues.Read More...

Hey LilTeaBag, Lol..well does your T work full time at College as well? Maybe you should PM me where you live? Don't freak out...all is good Do you know how to private message? (PM). Where are you trying to post? What section? I have never had one say "request being processed". But what you can do, if you can private message, is message True North. She is a co-moderator for the Forum, so she can help you with that. Let me know if you have any other questions. It is such a great support...Read More...

Thanks for the nice Welcome i havent properly introduced myself anywhere because i cant seem to be able to post new discussion or add people or pm Shrinklady.. Aaah!! But in the meantime, im here encountering ppl and yes, relating to so many stories! I wish u the best for your new T, hopefully u'll get a good connection. Up until then, yes i can see how it can be difficult and everything takes you a little more on the edge. Just a thought, have you tried singing the song outloud, like trying...Read More...

Monts, I am glad you posted long enough for me to read it - I really appreciated what you wrote and it helped me. Sorry you had to delete and I really understand. SDRead More...

BLT: Thank you. I am petrified at the thought of asking him if he is judging me. I will work on this. You gave me a couple of ideas to get through this and I appreciate this. I am determined not to give up. I believe I can get through this and I appreciate your supportive input T. Erica: You truly did not come across as dismissive. Thank you for talking with me about this and sharing your experiences. I know I just have to keep hammering away. He comes back this week and when I think of his...Read More...

I especially appreciate this talk about therapists offering good feelings, as I'm at that stage in therapy, too. I've finally admitted to Transference and I'm so relieved. T has said all my child feelings, even back to 1 yrs. old, are welcome. What a wonderful, yet scary, feeling!! But I'm not ready for touch, even tho I probably will be. I feel it's great that we all can come here and express whatever we experience. I'm OK that you, PF, and others, are receiving some good vibes from your T.Read More...

TAS - I cracked up with the thermostat. Sorry, not that the tantrum was funny. I'm sorry you were pissed. I was just trying to imagine a T's face after realizing the temp was changed. My T's response was pretty amazing. After he had me say it again, he then told me he felt helpless and was heartbroken and hurting that he had to leave me for so long. He knew I would not be okay and he said he was so sorry. He said he would never want to hurt me and that he cares about me. His response to my...Read More...

Found this while looking through old posts and thought I'd bump it up. It has great tips!! PFRead More...

Hi MsC - I’m so glad for the aha moment! I love those! Hi TAS - You didn’t ramble at all. I’m so sorry it’s taken me awhile to reply. I am sorry to hear about your mom’s overdose and that you found her. I can’t imagine the confusion, sadness, and pain surrounding that and being a toddler not knowing what to do with all those feelings. I can see how strong young attachment feelings can be triggered by someone safe. I have a toddler and his tantrums when I leave the house give me a glimpse...Read More...

Hi Yaku... glad you are basically feeling good and are doing well with missing a session. I'm not good with dreams but I would say that having T hold you in a blanket while you sleep has to be such a wonderful feeling. How utterly safe and cared for that feels. And then "S" seemed like a threat to having that hug or ability to snuggle with T. Then you wake up and are without T so it feels like a loss which can leave you feeling out of sorts. I know that when I wake from a super lovely dream...Read More...

Sorry, make that Internal Family Systems work, not Family Installation Work! (edit)Read More...

Thanx, Caroola!!!Read More...

Thank you so much kmay. I drive myself crazy. It is insane!Read More...

(((AG))) Thanks for the reply.Read More...

Thank you Jones and ElizaJ for your thoughtful responses. She called me this morning and I didn't even want to hear her voice. I am stepping back for a week or several weeks despite her second phone call to keep me coming back. I have to step away from this to squash the emotions. Like what is the point. She is never there to help me when I am to the point of no return. Her responses (or lack of) just sets me off into an emotional rampage... and then she just wants to tell me that my...Read More...

I understand these feelings; been there, done that, got a wardrobe full of t-shirts, about to go on a shopping spree again, etc. The way I understand it, and I'm not saying that I particularly do or can when it's me ( ) is that these are parts of ourselves that we find so horrible, so shameful, that we cannot tolerate them. They come from a place of real pain. What I wrote recently in my journal: "I feel calmer again. Like maybe because I saw you tolerating me it means I can tolerate myself...Read More...

Thanks, Beestung. I still really miss my T, but at least I know he'll be at session tomorrow! I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same attachment angst. I've been struggling with attachment for weeks (I can't even utter the word in front of T), but it finally seems to be happening on its own. With or without my permission, I'm not sure. Yes, this dream is incredibly layered. I didn't even include all of the details (a big one being that there was an unmade bed, instead of a couch, in...Read More...

Hi Jillann. Thanks for your reply. It helped to get me to think (which is a lot of what this rambling is). With the ED, I eat variety and maintain a stable, healthy weight that is much higher than I would have ever been okay with. I monitor my intake on my own and do know about how many calories I eat - though I am not afraid to go out to eat or to try samples at a farmer's market (normal things that were once terrifying). Of course, my mom always sees me as too small or too restrictive. I...Read More...

Thank you TN and Draggers Session actually went well. It was a mellow one so that was nice. We talked about how my week was and where I am with my emotions. Right now, I am feeling a ton of anger T says that is good to a certain extent b/c it allows me to speak up. But also to be careful b/c people numb with it as well. We talked about healthy coping mechanisms. We talked about an incident that happened a few weeks ago to me that made T so mad, she started crying when talking about it While...Read More...