Eliana: Thank you for your kind words. I think with time, it will get better. TASRead More...

You guys are awesome!! Thank you for all the encouraging words and support! Consider the Lilies-yup, I had stats this past semester and it made me cry too. I've heard just about everyone going into this field has had issues w/stats (my son's T, my T, my two friends that are T's). I am very fortunate that my mom is a math teacher and helped me a ton. I am eternally grateful to her for helping me through that horrible class! I think some of my worrying is about the classes and how I'll do, but...Read More...

Scattered, Consider, and BLT - Thank you for the giggle. My T has fabulous shoes. I can look at her, unless it gets intense for me, and then I just look look look at those shoes.Read More...

TAS here. I don't know how to start a post so I thought I would add to this one. I do feel extremely exhausted right now due to therapy. I have seen this therapist for at least 30 times and the level of DREAD I feel every time I go does not change. I am trying to figure out if this is normal (or no?) I must say he is kind, he listens and does not do anything that would cause ambivalence. I have been thinking of not continuing due to this, I can not seem to overcome it. I would appreciate any...Read More...

(((Liese))) Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. W decided to retire early from work about 3 years ago and is really just waiting for me to do the same. She's a few years older than I am and I just don't feel ready to give up the one thing ( apart from being on here of course ) that keeps me in some sort of contact with the outside world. It is a drain emotionally sometimes but we'll get there somehow.Read More...

Thank you all for responding! I have some different perspectives that I hadn't thought of or some that I thought, but didn't know how to verbalize. NavyMe-I love what you said here... Beautiful! This captures the feeling in words!Read More...

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Hey Lilies, Just wanted to throw a wave at you and say - "I'm so sorry this is you, too. But I'm a little bit glad that I'm not alone in it."Read More...

Thanks Coco, I really believe you phrased it better than I. I suck at life. I just can't get comfortable at all. It is draining. You are right,this forum is basically life-saving.Read More...

Hey Jen, Recovery and relearning how to take care of ourselves isn't a linear process. For example, I made some progress this week - my T even calls it a milestone - but I also have done things that I wouldn't call progressive at all. Opposite actually. But that doesn't negate the progress I've made. The same goes for you. It's totally possible to be doing good things and making good strides but still have some weak moments. I think exploring the feelings behind your decision to get a...Read More...

((((((YAKU))))) I don't think you are being manipulative. It's not like you are manipulating her into being in a relationship with you. You already are/were in a relationship with her. You just have to draw some emotional boundaries so you can protect yourself. If you are manipulating her, then I'm doing the same with my family. My sister has been living in my basement while she tries to get a job in another state. She keeps talking about us visiting and in my mind, I am thinking that once...Read More...

(((((xoxo))))) I am sorry you are feeling so fatigued and foggy, have done so much investigation and work, and are not getting any answers. How frustrating and discouraging. This is just a wild shot in the dark, based on a recent discovery of mine, but are you drinking or eating anything that is low calorie or sugar-free that may have aspartame in it? I was getting headaches to the point of having to take off work on multiple occasions and finally figured out that it was due to all the diet...Read More...

I think it might help to study into the dynamics of Transference in a book on psychology. Try to figure out just what's going on back and forth. You probably already know transference re-enacts situations you got into with important people in your life way back. Somehow, this T may be bringing that out like no other. But that's the perfect chance to get a hold on what goes haywire in your life. I think that reading more about transference in psychology could reveal a lot to you so you can...Read More...

Welcome Skylynx. Cool name. You have come to the right place. People on here are extremely helpful.Read More...

Hey to everybody that has helped me with this. You guys are freaking awesome. I am doing better today after a rough start this morning. I wake up and feel like I am in this deep, deep hole and I can't get out no matter how hard I try. I know currently is has a lot to do with the relationship with my T and the tough time we are having. I did call back and apologize, but she didn't call me back and I didn't ask her to. I don't have her email address, so I think I am just going to write her a...Read More...

(((yo)))Read More...

(((Yaku))) I think you put it perfectly. It is a basic fundamental need to feel loved and to connect. I’m guessing that the way we think about this as adults is set very early in life in the pre verbal years, when physical touch connections were the most important ones. You are right when you say we need to get to the point of “feeling” loved , (((BLT))) yes there is huge gap between being loved and feeling loved. I’ve no doubt that my mother did/does love me in her own way, but have I / do...Read More...

((((AG))))((((CTL))))((((ELIANA))))((((LANDA))))((((LG))))) It feels so wierd to me not to know how to feel. I feel so damaged emotionally. I called my Mom yesterday and she told me that it was mean of me to call her on Sunday and launch right into everything and not wish her a happy mother's day. Meanwhile, she was the one who launched right into everything by telling me that she's insisting my brother come and my niece has to get over it. She doesn't see that there was anything wrong with...Read More...

Thank you for that Liese. After you summed it up like that I guess he was pretty cool. I just wasn't receptive. Now I can't shake off a deep feeling of embarrassment, I wasn't specially glamorous crying in front of him... Didn't help that there were no tissues available (he did try to find some, bless him). Can we make the anger come back please? :P Mmm I'm sure next session will be interesting... ((Hugs))Read More...

Yay (((Pings))) (((Draggers))) & (((AV)))! So glad each of you understood the song in the light I intended it! It's really all about giving someone strength, no? We'll make it through, we're stronger than whatever comes at us, and when we're weak or struggling, someone here will lift us up - love us through another day. StarryRead More...

BG, Thanks for the link. It was very interesting to read. In her book, Deborah Lott said that many therapists said the same thing. I can see how that plays out. I just had an incident with my T at the end of my session. My T would sometimes touch my arm as we approached the door at the end of my sessions. I really wanted to lean into him because I was sad I was leaving him and wanted to lean into him so he could comfort me but knew I couldn't so I would just make a sad face instead. He...Read More...

Hi all...haven't been posting a lot lately, hope some of you still remember me, couse I do keep my fingers crossed for all of you all the time, I ve been monotoring te forum though, just had really rough last six months... Didn't read all the answers yet, however the same thing is happening to me to...I also noticed the pattern when my transferenc is high and then low...For me is like this...One session I can bee really really close to my T and have good session and I let my T in, but then...Read More...

CTL - you are not "the only person to not understand sex" Even those of us who are able to talk about it have questions and issues depending on their experiences. What I am saying is if you have issues or questions regarding sex be it about the "mechanics", or the relationship side about it, try using the biological terms when you speak about it with your T, and see it as a sort of research project on your own wildlife documentary, if that makes any sense. You are absolutely normal for...Read More...