tRead More...

Don't know if this is the same problem, but I've found that if I try to write using the quick post thing (which doesn't open a second window) my browser jumps like crazy. I have to make sure I use the full posting form. As long as I do that, I don't have a problem. I have an iPhone, so my problem may be completely different.Read More...

I didn't have to do anything all day except I did hang up my H's clothes because I enjoy it. He cleaned the carpet and made dinner, and I got two cards and some earrings from my kids and watched two movies on TV uninterrupted , and my T even texted me happy mother's day (even though I'm not his mom). My H called his mother and I figured if he could do it, I could, so I did. There was only instance of her making an exasperated sigh and one time where she made excuses for someone who hurt me,...Read More...

Thanks Joie, thats very kind of you. AVRead More...

After I turned 30 I immediately got an anti-aging facial! Drinking water and wearing sunscreen hasn't been cutting it. Interesting stuff and yes... she looks fantastic!Read More...

Aw, Beebers, that picture is so moving it makes me want to cry. ALL babies should be so cherished. Thank you so much for sharing it! And I would like to second Starfishy's motion above. SGRead More...

Yes, and often times I think my T thinks that too, NavyMe!! My T almost always responds to emails unless I ask her not to (and even then sometimes she does anyway). She will talk about the general feelings - I guess it's sort of validating - though I think almost 100% of the time I'm talking about shame so my T almost always replies with 'be compassionate with yourself' which is truly a reminder I need 100x. I can see how you'd feel like one email was more important than another one. Maybe...Read More...

thank you luci, that gives me hope! puppetRead More...

She doesn't have a PhD. All this is taking place in Germany, and in German (a foreign language to me). It is normal for the therapists over here to have nothing higher than a Bachelor's. She made me sign some shit in German, I don't know what it was. But I told my doctor about my past drinking, to cover my ass, because I knew my therapist would use this as a weapon against me. Nuts.Read More...

PS ((((DRAGGERS))))Read More...

Thanks, you are sweet, DR. I fear Ts rejection. I fear his disapproval. I did open up a little today, and did alright, but the man still sees the good in me. Like I said in either the How Youre Feeling or Say Anything threads, he thinks I'm better than I am; he has more faith in me than I do. I don't get it. I don't deserve that. I tried to explain that, but I don't think I was very expressive. Will keep learning and trying! Thanks again, StarryRead More...

Oh that would really throw me! I Skype with my T and she often moves from room to room and everytime I'm like "woah, where are you?!" It throws me off a little but then on her end, she sees me usually sitting in my car but often with a different backdrop in the background. Today, for example, it was very sunny out so I had to drive around to find a tree to get some shade, otherwise she cannot see me. So I ended up at a cemetery and she was like, "is that a tombstone behind your car?!" and I...Read More...

Forgetmenot., I feel so bad for you. The UK health system is very unique, and even though I don't live there, I hate it sometimes...their ostensible devaluation of mental health in comparison with other medical issues. BPD is a serious condition. It was good you were honest and upfront. See, you have so many positive traits. I always thought you were very insightful, and you have many strengths. You really endure a lot of suffering. I think many therapists would love to have you as their...Read More...

Hey everyone and effed, BLT, Lillies, B2W, and Butterfly, thanks for your responses. Good answers that helped. I remembered something I had forgotten, which is that it's not so much the incident itself, but what happened or didn't happen after the incident, and that it depends on the person and the circumstances. I was wondering about whether it is thought of as trauma or not because every time I read about trauma symptoms or trauma reactions or trauma patients or trauma therapies and on and...Read More...

I'm also a newbie who has found this place to be sooo helpful and encouraging with thoughtful, kind people. Thank you all so much!Read More...

effed - I'm paying a $30 copay for him to do double sessions with me (sometimes longer). He gets paid $95 by my insurance company and they cover 75 minutes. His usual (non-discounted) fee is $150 per hour. So, I am getting 2+ hours for $125, three times a week. For H's sessions (which go through my single case agreement), he only gets paid $100 for a single hour. Also, sometimes the Skype sessions haven't been charged for (though I didn't know at the time and kept paying as if they were),...Read More...

Aw, thanks all. HIC, you nailed the lyrics that almost brought tears to my eyes. Such a poignant song, "Think of Me." I fell asleep thinking of that one. The song she sings to her father in the cemetery does me in at parts, too. "Wishing you were somehow here again..." I think I'm just aglutton for punishment! Really, most of the major songs have at least a line or two that bring T to mind. Thanks for not making me feel pathetic.... And yeah, AV, these singers aren't as good as Crawford and...Read More...

thanks TN. i really appreciate it. take care friend.Read More...

i think this is called somatic re-experiencing. i experience this sometimes regarding being beaten by my dad when i was little.Read More...

This subject is still a stopping point/wall for me... It bugs me... I've had one appointment since we broached this subject. I had originally agreed that we didn't need to reschedule my appointment from last week to the weekend, and then wound up calling and requesting the session anyway... My T made the appointment for me, and we spent a lot of the session discussing the idea of discussing the anger/worthiness issue. I have a couple of issues... 1- I feel all off kilter with the subject, I...Read More...

((starry)) thank you.Read More...

Transference with my T isn't as intense aas it used to be, but she's still there with me in my everyday life no matter what. Sometimes I don't realize this, but I find that whenever Im stressed or have really bad anxiety, I automatically think about the times when I would just let T hold me, and we would sit in silence and all I could hear was the sund of her heartbeat. Thinking of that always grounds me, puts me at ease, and I end up getting this really goofy grin on my face that I don't...Read More...

thanks everyone for your supportive responses.Read More...

HIC, have you ever tried applying acupressure to your wrist: http://www.quickandsimple.com/...-wrist-080205-lg.jpg Glad to read this.Read More...