hi blanket. yeah. i could get a second job. but the treatment will take years. that would mean getting a second job and paying 15k out of pocket for about 6 years. maybe more. i feel like id rather be sick than pay this man $80,000. is that crazy?Read More...

BLT, Thanks...that's good to know! I never would have guessed that. HopefulRead More...

Thank you for this Cat, it finally explains to me one of the reasons I've been feeling so frustrated with T about transference. Whenever I bring it up, I am hoping for her to tell me where these feelings are coming from, why I am having them, or at least what I can do about it. But she won't. She states the same thing every time, something we both agreed on why it makes sense that I feel very attached to her. It's as if she is waiting for me to continue the conversation and tell her what I...Read More...

AG: 65 sunny days a year!!! OMW! Do they pay people some form of compensation to live there? That is awful. That is 300 crummy days a year! You have my sympathy.Read More...

** Possible SU triggers** kashley, Thanks for the hugs and kind words. I've talked about it with my T in general terms before - he knows I have two attempts in my past - but I told him that while I have a plan, I've made a deal with myself I'm not allowed to follow through until my son has left home (it's a long wait, he's only 9). When I made a flippant comment about my state of mind on Thursday, my T asked me a direct question, but I stayed silent for a while and then talked around it,...Read More...

Well this movie isn't from my childhood, but my T reminds me soooooooo much of the mom from The Blind Side. She's Southern, (TX not Miss. though) she's sweet but if needed, she WILL take anyone down. T is more of a cowgirl too; classy cowgirl ;D I knew T reminded me of someone but I just couldn't put my finger on it until now that I'm rewatching the Blind Side for the 2nd time haha. I prefer my T thoughRead More...

This weekend it has been extremely helpful to have H home after a week he was gone for work. It is nice he sort of 'gets' my transference feelings so I can vent to him about it, and when I'm suddenly shaking and crying he knows why. I have kept what I say to him real short, because when he worries about me, it just adds to his stress, which I don't want to do. And mostly I need time to myself to journal, think and cry, and he's more hands on around here with the kids. One thing that is bad,...Read More...

Oh, I just lifted this from Wikipedia: Nonsense and fantasy. That sums it all up sometimes, doesn't it?Read More...

FMN: It seems all you need to do to put yourself in a better mood is play piano to your favourite song, "what a fool believes"! CTL: I can see you are a little disturbed about that Barbie song Don't take my comments to heart....Barbie song is great!Read More...

I listened and survived. I listened with Boo, so she could hear "Mommy when she was little," like she is now. It feels like I am almost five. I predicted before I heard it what I thought might be on it and was kind of right (about the singing and reading part of a book). Inside, it felt like it was a specific book and then I thought, "No, I don't think it was," but it ended up being the book that part was saying it was, which is "The Monster at the End of This Book." It got cut off before I...Read More...

BuzyD, Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry for the pain you find yourself in, nothing ever hurts quite so much as losing your first love. I can understand why you are asking for help here as I am sure that how you're feeling about needing your ex-girlfriend tracks pretty closely a lot of feelings that members here discuss about their therapists. In many of our cases, those feelings about our therapists end up being feelings about unfulfilled needs and longings from childhood. I don't know if...Read More...

So glad to hear you go tot see both T's and things are settling down for you. I truly hope this means you can go on your vacation in a better, more secure frame of mind and that your T offered some contact while you are gone. Please update us when you can. TNRead More...

((((b2w)))) Ah, that was a good one. Yes, a little below the belt, but you are right that I started it with the belt thing. LieseRead More...

Hello Butterfly Nice to see you From what you say, your t sounds a lot like mine. She has very strict boundaries - no out of session contact at all and she has two weeks off christmas, easter and a month in August. She also has a small room. I know a lot of people here have ts with different set up to this but I got the impression a lot are this strict as well so I don't think it's unusual. Mine also made it very clear after our one initial meeting, that I couldn't just not turn up after...Read More...

I think that is pretty typical. If she has stated that is what she is going to do then I would just leave it at that. It is her place to let you know if she needs it to be different. My old T raised her rates last year. I think she gave about a months notice and it applied to everyone.Read More...

So... It seems like for many of us, our attachment style might vary based on the OTHER individual, as opposed to being set in one style regardless of who we're dealing with. I have a very strong internal locus of control (over 70%), so I guess I wasn't expecting that the scores and quadrants would vary so much based on who we're dealing with. Very illuminating! Maybe this should have been obvious, but I guess I was thinking that if we're "x" then we're always "x", regardless of the...Read More...

Liese...yup, I felt it! Thank you Starry-fish and Flagondry, I mean Dragonfly! It means the world to me that you "get it." Love you, BeebsRead More...

Hi Tessa, I always play with my wedding ring. I slide it to the end of my finger and put it back on. The reason I do it is that I gained a lot of weight since I got married and now I've lost some and it's a way for me to feel if I've gained or lost some weight back or if I'm bloated. I don't think it's related to my feelings for my H but it might be. I've done it a long time.Read More...

This thread is closed. AG, ModeratorRead More...

Just on my own. It helps me relax/clear my head sometimes too.Read More...

thanks. i do not regret therapy and my pain amongst all this. ITS ALL GOOD. get to know yourself, and having therapy advice is still important, and a beautiful intimate wise space to be in too xxRead More...

Such a beautiful story TN and you absolutely deserve every accolade and congratulation. They went to such great trouble and it sounds like it was just perfect. Yay SDRead More...

(((((Athenacus))))) With the way you describe what your son knew in kindergarten and before kindergarten, he sounds perfectly fine. I've heard that in homes where there is emotional turmoil, kids can have symptoms that mimic ADHD and sometimes their symptoms get mistaken for that. My son was given a real IQ test by the school psychologist when he was in second grade. The psychologist told me that he let my son do whatever he wanted and my son wanted to walk around the room the whole time -...Read More...

Hi Anna, I know it can be so upsetting, but his reactions do NOT mean that you have done anything wrong. It may be that you need someone who will allow between-session contact/emails, and he just isn't that one. Or, you may decide as I did, that your T is worth the no-email policy because of everything else about him - how safe you feel with him, how much you trust him, etc. I love my T and fully believe that he does things in MY best interests, so I stayed even when I was really hurt. In...Read More...

Thanks Morgs and HI! I'll def check in as much as I can BG- I think itll be a record the more I keep telling her how thankful I am cos for the last 2 sessions we BOTH have shed some tears. Her more thOugh when she read aloud a thank you letter I had written to her tee hee. But I think it'll be good to reflect on where I was when I first started with her up to this point in time. If I may say so myself, I'm pretty awed and proud of myself of how far I've come. I feel like a completely...Read More...