Hey effed. Thanks for your support . I made it to my saturday session, yes. That's the thing, I need to talk to her regardless of a lot of things that go on, I need someone there to listen to me. After all my life not having it, I crave it now. I'm going to be continuing therapy with someone else. I had an assessment and they diagnosed mem BPD (which I still question sometimes) but anyway, I'll be having therapy with a psychologist from the mental health team.Read More...

Haha. Sadly, yes, that reminded me of last session when I was trying to get her to out the reason why she became a therapist (yes I was suspicious, perhaps in order to push her away) and she cleverly managed to turn it around onto me and eventually made me cry about my own Mother!. So annoying. I wanted to out her on something and she outed me! She's smart. Too smart. Sometimes it really annoys me. Last session she said something along the lines of 'well, this can never be a normal...Read More...

This thread is awesome lol. I can't imagine my therapist doing anything like that. I think its because I've put her in this image of perfection which isn't good really. I forget that she is just human sometimes. She's so small and dainty though that her farting would probably crack me up or make me feel really awkward. I only imagine her eating cup cakes with fine bone china tea whilst gliding slowly around the garden patio. The fact that she does and experiences all bodily functions as we...Read More...

1) Emu's are one of my favorite animals. (I actually had the pleasure of seeing one whilst I was on the train going past a small farm here in the UK last week! Very exciting!). 2) I have the habit of obsessive compulsive spartanism (the opposite to hoarding). I get like it when I attempt to reduce my belongings to nothing. I think it is to do with anxiety/the need to not be defined because I go through identity issues anyway. I'm still not sure why I do it but it makes me feel very clear...Read More...

And now, here I am again, completely triggered, thinking thoughts I haven't had in a long time, because of being in a situation that I wouldn't have to be in if I just did what my T is wantin me to do. And I completely get why, but I just don't know if I can. But I also don't know if I can handle this either. I feel like I'm going to lose it. I keep seeing flashes of myself in my head completely falling apart or just going crazy. And any time I'm out walking or doing something I look down at...Read More...

i just went out hoping to find someone to have a ONS with because of this, but came back alone lol with my senses back. hes just turned me into a horny womanRead More...

Go figure that this hilarious thread finally gets me to post. Hi, and thanks. Last session T and I were having an intense moment. I became frustrated and said, "F%#@ a duck!" He said, "What's that like?" and I immediately replied, "Fowl." He started laughing and then replayed it in his mind and laughed harder. He said, "Hey, do I have permission to use that?" I said, "Uh, sure," bemused at his reaction. Then he said the whole exchange out loud again, like two people, and kept laughing. It's...Read More...

Hi audirak I'm sorry things are so difficult for you right now. Transference is SOOOO hard to deal with sometimes. And the boundaries can be extremely painful. But like SD said, it might be what you NEED, even if it's not what you WANT. I think most of us would agree that talking things through with T is usually the best way to cope. I know for myself that was the most terrifying option. I couldn't see how I would even get the words out. But I did, and it has really helped me accept that...Read More...

NavyMe, I believe that our worth is integral to our being. That any human being is of infinite worth and deserving of love and care and attention. But though our worth is inherent, our sense of it is not. We must learn to "feel" our worth by having a loving other reflect that worth back to us. If we did not have that, which many of us did not, we learned a lie instead. That we were worthless. Some of us even learned that WANTING to feel worthwhile was an inherently bad thing to do. One of...Read More...

AG, you are appreciated!Read More...

Thanks to all of you for your kind words and presenting me with such affirmation. I do care deeply for the people in this community, and its lovely to know that, by and large , it's returned. I also am happy to see so many people acknowledging the support and acceptance that they have found here. I know what this community has meant in my own life; it's good to see other people feel the same way. I am going to close the thread at this point since people have had a chance to comment who...Read More...

I would prefer cake...but he would not.Read More...

Hi everyone, thank you all so much for your kind responses, it means such a lot to me. Talking about transference with my T. has never been a problem for me as I felt comfortable talking with her from our first session and she is happy to work through it with me, even if as she says, many of her colleagues would run a mile!! I saw T. last night and told her I had been worried about her and she reassured me she was fine, so I'm feeling a lot better today. Knowing that there are kind people...Read More...

Aw, BB, this post is so lovely of you. Reading it brought tears to my eyes. Now I know which thread to revisit when I feel I need a little encouragement. Thank you.Read More...

Aw...Frosty that would be the kind of thing that would really get to me too. I mean- it's just SO insensitive and downright rude. How are you- where's my book...for the third time? seriously?Read More...

You all brought up such valid points, thank you. I will give him a card (already bought THE perfect one!) and not feel any distress over it. I think what threw me was not just my friend's words but all the scoffing that went along with them. I felt like a little kid being laughed at for some "silly" idea, you know? But I love what was said about following my heart, and that's what I'm going to do. Thank you for understanding. StarryRead More...

Countertransference can be a good thing if it is noticed by the T and managed well. It can be a disaster when the T is blind to it, refuses to deal with it and uses it in a way that plays into the transference rather than helping the transference in ways as BG pointed out above. All T's have countertransference to one degree or another. It isn't usually about sex though it can be. It can be about many things, but it is something that needs to be managed and paid attention to. Being on the...Read More...

You know TN, I am OK with leather generally, but I don't really think it's cozy enough for T furniture. Also I might slide around too much on it and not feel very grounded. I dunno...Read More...

Hoosier, hi. The only thing I can relate this to for me is a dream I had about my T was that she went to school and then quit being a therapist because of it. I waited a few weeks after I had the dream, but I did ask her, "Are you going to school?" She answered, without hesitation, because it was about psychological testing, then asked me why. I told her about my dream. She asked if I was worried. Yes, of course I was. I didn't want to lose her. She does seem to do more testing and...Read More...

So... after going away, thinking of things and doing a lot of processing and such... I find myself freaked out about our next session. Between this, and the homework she gave me... the amount of ugly junk that came up just seems... like a step backwards. And I'm afraid that when I go there and see her... and bring this stuff up...it will be this giant disappointment for her. In the past couple of sessions, it seems like she's been doing more of the changing gears stuff... (As above)..and I...Read More...

ND, I've never seen my innermost fears put into words like this. I can really relate to what you've said, thank you. StarryRead More...

((SD))) thanks for relating. I told my T. That's how I found out more about her approach. I got extemely frustrated. I have no problem telling her what up. I ask so often to just talk but my Ts are so delicate and fragile and careful with me. Even my regular t called me yesterday after I cancelled on her to "keep our connection" when I called her. I think thy are worried it will flood and hurt me but I feel hurt not feeling heard. I do my skills well and often grrRead More...

Hi We'll see how my session goes today. There is more to my therapy story that I'm not going to share here, because I've told some therapist friends of mine about this board and I don't want to give away all of my info here. Update-I had my session- It ended up ok, but not great. T right away started off on a topic that irritates us both. Then, T seemed to not remember much about my story. I needed to remind her of several things. I understand that she has many clients and has a hard time...Read More...

wow. i am a sucker for appearances im learing to stop this, big reason for my social anxiety he asked me if i cared what he thought being a man in our third. i looked at him innocently as said 'no this is professional' so he knows i'm naive! he just watched me and beamed and said yees!Read More...