Thank you AG, I checked it out and it looks like what I need Maybe it's crazy but I had never heard of the notion until I started therapy.Read More...

Shameful, I have been forbearing, knowing that you were upset over your friend being barred from the forum, but this is enough. You are not trying to discuss anything, you are using a forum you insist you detest, to attack and defame the people on it. If what you are saying is your idea of kindness and sensitivity, I am glad to know you do not perceive those qualities in anyone here. I am closing this thread. If you start another thread with more abusive posting, that will be closed and your...Read More...

This cutie reminds me of the inner child in all of us, and how one day when healing has been done we can return to that state of joy in our purest form. So, when I am sad I am going to look at Happy Skippy Jumpy face and remind myself that is why I am doing all of this.Read More...

That’s great news Unbroken! Sounds like you needed to get to the point of, what the hell I’ve nothing to lose so I may as well be as honest as I can in order to open up to T, and it paid off handsomely. I’m so pleased you’ve managed to connect so deeply with her and that you don’t have to go through the pain of trying to find another T. And also glad that things with this T are sounding so positive. By the way, did you cancel with the other T you’d decided to see in the end? It sounds like...Read More...

(((HIC))) you're lovely, thanks for understanding. Sorry to stir you up too. Thankfully, I got this mega crappy issue worked out with my T today. When things aren't right with that woman I'm a bloody mess.Read More...

((Ninn)) I like kashley's advice and I'm so sorry that it feels so difficult for your T to connect to the experiences you've had and feelings you've had. A T's job is to connect with us empathetically enough to 'see' the world from our eyes. I have trouble telling my T things she has heard before (either stuff from me, or stuff I assume she's heard from everyone) it makes it very hard and very scary... I think because we need to look at things from so many angles it makes sense we need to...Read More...

Yaku, I love that your T already anticipated that his comment might have brought up some stuff. You're right - it is a risk to let someone give you so much, but he is the exactly *right* person to take that risk with, because he's the one that will help you establish new connections and relearn that not everyone is completely unsafe (something I still have yet to learn). Did his explanation help settle everything a bit? I've always been so caught up in making sure that I'm an easy, totally...Read More...

Hey Lampers - really good to see you. Thanks for the congratulations. It's coming down to the last two weeks, and I'm super stressed because I really want to make sure that I stay as Summa Cum Laude, because my Bio Psych class is a bit of a challenge! At the very least, I will get to walk at graduation as Summa - but I'll just feel like a liar if my diploma doesn't say it as well. Or maybe that's just the perfectionist, OCD in me talking. Thanks for posting, LL - it's so great to hear from...Read More...

Taylor Swift's Mean helps me: You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded You, pickin' on the weaker man Well, you can take me down with just one single blow But you don't know what you don't know Someday I'll be living in a big old city And all you're ever gonna be is mean Someday I'll be big enough so you...Read More...

Hi LL, Thanks for following up here with me. I'm always back and forth with this therapy stuff but YES it has gotten very intrusive for now. This is a good place to go back and read the support from everyone and like a journal for the counseling. HopefulRead More...

Hi incognito... I'm glad you were able to talk to your T about the dream and how it made you feel. It seems like your emotions are back again too. It was good to hear that you felt comforted by your T and I do hope you can hold onto that comfort until you see him again. How are you doing today? Thanks for the update. I was thinking of you. TNRead More...

Ack! Am I right in understanding that most of you guys are able to shed tears WITHOUT an accompanying runny nose? I must be built the wrong way or something, the moment tears come to my eyes my nose goes out in sympathy. The few times I have cried in therapy (and then only a few tears that I couldn't keep from brimming over) I've HAD to grab a tissue because of the damn nose (and had to try VERY QUIETLY to blow my nose without honking the place down or sitting there feeling embarrassed about...Read More...

hi Perri, nice to meet you and welcome to the forums! i can seriously relate to all of it except the jealousy part. being 7 out of 8 kids i do have jealous feelings that i am aware of, but nothing that i'm too concerned about. i SO relate to the rest of it, though ... feeling like an outsider EVERYWHERE, even in my own warped family, feeling judged all the time. it hurts terribly and it sucks and i know it's my imagination but that doesn't seem to make a damn bit of difference. so you're...Read More...

SD -- I did want to say THANK YOU for sharing your experience that is awesome. Just reading the phrase 'cock up' made my day Scattered -- thanks for the good wishes I was waiting to update for when I would have that AMAZING session. I've had a few okay sessions since this post, and this week was back to "this shit sucks". I do feel like I am making a major mess of therapy!!! GahhhRead More...

hopeful - did you ask to see the notes or ask if she remembered and/or wrote it down? sometimes my t will flip back to another day in her notes if she's trying to bring something up, but I don't think she writes what she says. my Ts have amazing memories and recall all kinds of stuff my regular T will sometimes bring stuff up she's said that she thinks triggered me. It sounds like your t kind of got defensive or something that's why I ask if you wanted to SEE the notes or not because Ts can...Read More...

Jane, Wanted to send you a big ol' hug and tell you that I understand where you are coming from. Transitions are SO hard. Any change is difficult and the only thing that gets me through is the hope that it will get better. It will improve. It has to, right? Sometimes I am at a loss and feel like day to day life is pointless but then I try to remind myself of little things I do. I smile at a stranger--that person might have been having a bad day and I changed their outlook. I help people on...Read More...

((((BG))))) Sucks beyond belief. It has been really painful for me to come to grips with this truth about my mother. That the reason I kept getting hurt was that I kept going back hoping she would be different and respond differently. It was a grief to let go of ever having her be the person I wanted her to be or even being a person I could have a better relationship with. But oddly enough, once I faced that and accepted that, it actually has become less painful to interact with her. But I...Read More...

Good luck with your session Hoosier! In the past I've celebrated anniversaries to the extent that I gave my T a card the first year. The second year we had a session on the exact day and I brought up that it had been two years. This year our third anniversary was this past Sunday. I didn't say anything, T didn't either and I don't plan to. We aren't on great terms right now so I'm not if we'll have a fourth or not. I've given my T small homemade gifts and cards for various occasions. I don't...Read More...

I see no problem with having some sub-forums that are always open to newbies and seasoned members alike so they can get to know each other and get a feel for the board, but that perhaps the open area should be limited to the less triggering topics and everyday chatting and fun games. As newbies settled in and made several posts in the open forums (and thus showed they were not trolls and were serious about membership), they could "graduate" into access to the private forums. I also see no...Read More...

Scattered, Thank you so much for both your candor and your kindness. I felt your sincerity, and I know you speak from the heart. Thank you. I know you're right. I'm scared and don't think I want to delve into any of this right now. But if/when I do, it'll be as you said - with my T, and... this support network, I'm sure. My heart goes out to you for facing and enduring the challenges you're forced to deal with, and I admire your courage. StarryRead More...

ooops! i didn't mean to actually post that just yet ... i meant to elaborate a little. anyway, i don't think i'm a boundary pusher, BUT i do think that i tend to see others as "how can i benefit from this relationship"? sure, i can put up a front and communicate like anybody, like i'm on the up=and=up, but i'm thinking you struck something close to my core and that's why i'm posting now. i'm thinking (not proudly) that on some deep level i do look at other as "what can you provide me with"?Read More...

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Hi anna, I'm so sorry about your past and how much you're hurting *hugs* I can understand why you are so distrusting of everyone else, people around you broke your trust in bad ways, you just learnt how to defend yourself. The first time I read your reply I felt your T wasn't the right person for you, he sounded way too unpredictable and not safe enough for you to anchor on him, but after learning it took you 2 years to trust him... that's a big investment and you shouldn't dismiss it so...Read More...

((R2G)) I've heard that hardware store story before, I think in DBT! IT does make sense, I'm really impressed at the way you turn the conversation around... I need to try that. The problem with my Mom when she is drinking she gets very talkative and a little hostile if I try to break contact. So I need to stop myself before I call in the first place. It's hard when I'm freaking out I know it took you a long time but it's inspiring to hear that you've gotten to the point you have. I want to...Read More...