FWIW, I would *totally* pay $20 plus shipping for one of those, assuming I had the money, which I currently don't. But it doesn't seem overpriced to me at all.Read More...

Pink, I'm sorry you had to deal with a therapist like that but I'm glad you had the strength to end it and move forward. As for new T, she sounds pretty legit but in the end it all comes down to you and how comfortable you feel with her. I agree with SomeDays in giving her maybe a few more sessions to get more of a feel or her. I hope everything works out!Read More...

(((BLT)))(((TN)))(((kansas)))(((Sadly)))(((Forgetmenot))) thank you so much for all your words and support, they mean a lot to me and they helped me immensely to make sense of all this! I wanted to come back to this topic much sooner but real life happenned and I was unable to update it until now. I had my session with T yesterday, and asked him about the reason why he would want to see me in his other practice, and after hearing his explanation I felt such a fool for distrusting him so...Read More...

you guys are so awesome and supportive. held, yaku, ninn, liese and blt all said some really wonderful and helpful things. so far things are working out well and my reassurance that my being in therapy doesnt preclude having a nice life together has been well accepted.Read More...

Even though I'm late- it's made my day too! thanks for sharing Cat. BeebsRead More...

Ouch! I'm sorry- I hope your T is printing the emails before deleting them, as they should be part of your file I would think, especially if they contain things pertaining to therapy?Read More...

((((FMN))))) Nice to see you. Glad you could pop in. You have to take care of yourself first so not to worry about your absence. So glad you will be getting the help you need although I'm sorry you therapy might end with the T you've adored. Oh, yes the identity issues and the fantasy. Know it all too well. Good luck and keep us updated when you can. LieseRead More...

((((KANSAS))))) Just checking in on you. You've been quiet. How is it going? LieseRead More...

Everyone, thank you for your kind words and support! I love this board!Read More...

*sigh* If only they could be there for us whenever we needed them instead of on some schedule which might not have anything to do with what actually works...Read More...

The Wizard of Oz has always been one of my favorites. I even love watching it now. It never ceases to entertain me although I had never thought too much in depth about it at all so I really loved reading this thread and reading everyone's thoughts about the movie. All the parallels to the therapy experience. Very touching. Great thread, TN. And I love that you wore Ruby Slippers today. I was also afraid of the flying monkeys and had to leave the room when I was little when that scene came...Read More...

Effed... that's exactly what I felt like when I saw my T, and it really scared me, because of everyone in my life, on my support team, T is the only one I can not live without. At least not yet (nor anytime in the distant future, either.) I didn't hear it as an ultimatum and I know it wasn't a threat, it is T putting things into my hands, holding me accountable for my own work. T's said it before - I have to do the work, I have to make the effort, I have to WANT to do this (more than just...Read More...

I empathize with your feeling of making it up/ I can hardly believe it happens to me but I have recordings and I woudl have to be an amazing actress to be making it up. I can't even imitate it when out of it, to my husband so he can hear what sounds I make. I find it all very odd. BUt real. I feel so real. I seem to be accessing parts of my mind that I have locked down. And they are still there. I would be very gentle to yourself. When it happens to me, I have to sleep a lot afterwards and...Read More...

Hi BTW What a hard predicament for you, and how tough to only allow free treatment to those that had their events occur in that one country. I am so sorry and can see exactly why you would pay to have someone listen, qualified or not I am glad that you can get some support from the forum here, I know this isn't the same as a real life hug, but winging one over to wherever you are starfishyRead More...

I know expressing this stuff has made me feel SO much safer about receiving from T...though, it is still an issue that I have to talk about with him pretty frequently (i.e. did Friday, will again tonight).Read More...

effed - I was back and forth with that thought yesterday....thinking I would show her gow vulnerable a can be and I need her and then getting so pissed off and just telling her I'm done! Yeah, that's the old defense kicking in - dump her before she dumps me. I even had myself convinced at one point that she's dropping my insurance to get rid of me. I know that's not true - but the subconscious inner score card I've been hanging onto tells me so. I'm going to try to go in next week and really...Read More...

I wouldn't pay 1/4 of my income - but it would be impossible for me to with all of my other financial obligations. Do you have a lot if other monthly financial obligations? Would the money be taken from somewhere elsevthat is necessary? If you don't have other necessities and you need this T, you might want to consider it. My T is dropping my insurance company and evenvat $2600 a year for bi-monthly appointments I can't do that because my budget is so stretched. It's a real bemmer, this...Read More...

hey (((AG))), thanks. it really is important to get feedback from others who know what you're talking about. not sure what people in therapy did pre-internet! must have been one HELL of a struggle i can imagine! (((BB))) it's great to meet you, too! thanks for your response. thanks for allowing me to shut the door again as i'm pretty good at beating myself up for that as well. you probably knew that . thanks in large part to this forum i do have a sense of hope. it's a great place to go...Read More...

Hi echoes, It's definately not a stupid question. I think it is something I have asked myself over and over. I wouldn't change some things. The abuse I suffered, I think, has made me more compassionate...more able to be less judgemental of others. But the reaction to that (as a child....ie. not being believed by mum and others....having to move out from the home) has made me doubt a lot of things. While I can appear to come across as a competent, confident human being....deep down...I know...Read More...

Hey Tn, thanks for asking. Things are rocky.T has let me down badly and she has to do some major repairing - she has caused some major attachment injury for me. I have had 2 weeks of a breakdown that is nearly as bad as when youngT terminated me so T's timing is terrible for me. Currently I am in a mental fog / time distortion thing and I can't breathe until T and I have this out on Tuesday. I am terrified she is terming me and I think she thinks I am terming her. Yes - seeing youngT is...Read More...

I think you've got great responses here just wanted to lend my support I scream here lots and it helpsRead More...

Thank you, my Aglet... fortunately my T is still just any other guy, and not divinely inspired or drop dead gorgeous or anything, but- it worries me that I no longer seem to hate going to therapy. right back atcha! miss you- starfishy, my love...spring is early here, too, but I've misplaced the laundry fairies again, and now have to do the wash myself. It is very sad. I miss you-Read More...

Well, today was a little better. I was able to cognitively push myself through the emotional certainty that he was going to judge, reject certain things I was saying and shared some self-analysis and some vulnerable stuff too. We had a nice Skype session and while there wasn't a huge sense of connectedness (now that we sit close physically in office sessions, it's hard NOT to feel disconnected on the phone), there was a HUGE sense of him understanding me and making connections (either...Read More...

((((DAROCK))))) You are in such a difficult place and I don't envy you one little bit. You have an incredibly difficult decision to make but you can always go back to him when your financial situation improves. Maybe it'll help you cope with it better if you don't look at it like a potentially permanent thing. I personally don't think it was right or fair of him to tell you to go into debt. I don't think anyone should go into debt if they don't have to. Suze Orman would tell you that you...Read More...

Keep hanging in there and by no means are you going to end with your regular T. Some kind of misunderstanding happened but it should be fixable. Sorry it's so hard JD. You're doing great still!Read More...