hi DaRock it's one thing for your T to be holding his boundary about fee-setting, which is his right, it's another for him to be assessing your financial situation and your likelihood of being in debt years down the road. It would be ridiculous for *anyone* to draw any conclusions about your future ability to pay off debt. He's a therapist, not an oracle. ROFL!! This is very astute. I am going to go on a limb here and assume you're American? Unfortunately for us, we live in a society where...Read More...

Ninn, i'm glad your emotions seem to be evening out. they can be awefully intense and consuming and make life really difficult. i'm glad you're hanging in with your T, too ... it seems like you've invested a lot of time with her and it would be sad to just drop it for good or have to start all over again with someone else. i hope you can continue to work together so you can reach whatever goals you have in order to live a happier life. as far as cancelling everybody else and keeping your...Read More...

sorry i'm late to reply again... thank you ((eliana, morgs, raven)) for your hugs and enthusiasm! thanks ((echoes)) lovely to see you too, as always! hi (closed doors)! thanks! but i'm afraid last session was more of a fluke then anything... well, it was a beginning, a step forward, but the struggle to talk won't be that easily won. i had my session today and it was again a 'struggle'. we spent the whole time (in between silences) talking about why I struggle to talk / connect. still,...Read More...

Thanks B2W, that is a good book, I have actually read it and a fair amount on John Bowlby. Learning about attachment really opened up my healing and I read obsessively for a while. I appreciate the info.Read More...

(((((KANSAS)))))) So glad you went and everything turned out okay. LieseRead More...

Well, it has varied over the course of treatment, but yesterday I had a photo tucked in the back pocket of my journal and I got it out to share with T. Talked 1 minute about it and then I got up to leave.Read More...

Athenacus, Really late here but just wanted to congratulate you. LieseRead More...

lost track of which thread I was writing on and posted my update on this under "OW - it hurts" on the stories forum. Could cut and paste but didn't know what to do really....as it applies to both threads. at least this is a simple issue to be confused about - LOL - rather than my usual difficulties...Read More...

We talked today and he was so sweet and gave me an hour. He was being locked out of a library at the time and had to rescue his bag so that he could talk to me and not get it locked in. I think he is really kind to me. He agreed that her email is written in the style that you would write to a client. He then went on to say something really interesting, something I have noted here before: He said: Some people in the therapy profession have great difficulty with friendships as they have sort...Read More...

Good luck TN! Let us know how it goes!Read More...

Well it went okay, but I feel like I really f'ed up the entire experience. I did exactly what I expected which was discuss how I felt it would be a clinical market, etc, some of the things I wrote here. It was such an emotionally devoid experience even though my T reacted wonderfully. I think she was trying to match me she didn't really react strongly, though like I said I couldn't really share compassionately with her it was a 'here it is, I'm sure your clients give you stuff constantly, I...Read More...

Thanks for the hugs BLT... sending some back to you! (((BLT))) (((AG))) my boss was out of line, and I knew that, and T and I talked about it.. but I still had no out. It was do or die (figuratively) and I thought the pain of doing would be short lived... wrong. There's a saying I've heard "you're only as sick as your secrets" and that really hit home with me, in the most painful of ways. Some secrets that NEED to be shared, well, they can be, but not necessarily with the person/people you'd...Read More...

It has taken a while to get all that info from my questions. 1. He has a new partner and is separated from his wife. 2. He has two kids a boy and a girl ages 13 and 15 3. He played the trumpet as a young boy and his sister played the cornet. He also had piano lessons. 4. I know how old he is (53) and I know his birthday too. Dead chuffed with myself. He told me all of this. I even asked him last summer WHY he no longer is with his previous wife/partner and he told. Confidentially. Gosh. TMI...Read More...

It is hard. I presume some clients are hard to like for a t. But some clients are easy to like. We always worry we are the 'hard' ones but of course we want them to love us to bits. I suppose it is just part of the delightful dance of therapy (said slightly tongue in cheek) that we have to go through. How are you with this now, Effed?Read More...

Hi Nanabee I'm a new member but just wanted to chime in too because i have related to your situation. I have spent a lot of my life being vague on the one hand an in an uncontrolled rage on the other. I haven't been able to meld the two sides of myself but have a very kind and patient T who encourages me and makes me feel supported and safe, two things that i never got from my parents. When i was a kid i always wanted to be a dog because they looked to me to have such a happy stress free...Read More...

I would give it at the end. OR give it at the beginning incase I feel mad as hell at him by the end. LOL I have done both. I usually hand the card over early and say " I am giving you it now cos I have no idea how I will feel about you by the end of the session so it is safer to give you it now, that way at least you get it." When I am very nervous of giving something I wait until the end - becos all the way through I am still weighing up whether or not to give it and then I make a last...Read More...

Morgs, you make me laugh. Trust an Aussie to make a competition out of swearing - and an Olympic sport at that! Ditto to your story. I could qualify myself and regularly let rip with a few appropriately placed words to describe situations or to add emphasis. My T says it when appropriate or when describing what I said ....Read More...

I've certainly been fleeing from the feelings at least. Ive spent a week sitting on the sofa eating junk food and reliving old hurts. Before dragging myself up and trying to figure out why it hurts so much. Been reading lots of stories on here of therapists moving away and realised I didn't have any of those terrible feelings of loss until I tried to move on. Then I was literally shaking in the first session with group T. Which probably didn't help me to like her. But I stuck it out (put...Read More...

Re: Is my therapist flirting with me?Read More...

that is pretty funny!Read More...

That's interesting JD. I do think that as we're able to face a lot of dark, difficult, and painful stuff, we do seem to appear more solid and authentic to other people. I think it's because we're no longer running from things that are inside of us. I still think you're really brave and I agree you're going to come out of all of this a different and stronger person.Read More...

Because my P has consistently and patiently welcomed me back after I have "quit" over minor disruptions, I realized last week that I no longer feel the need to do this anymore. Thank you P!Read More...

My t doesn't have a wedding ring and ive seen her out walking around in town twice and she's not with a partner. it makes me feel better unfortunately, that i can safely assume that she is not with someone but this is just an assumption of course. she could well be in a very happy relationship. i dont knwo what i would do if i found out she was with someone. id be very sad and jealous. definitely jealous. and very wishful. there is a hefty amount of pain incorporated within all this *sigh*.Read More...

crave her approval all the time. sometimes i want to seduce her. i often still wonder how i feel toward her. how id feel if id never met her in the therapy situation and would i still like her the same way,erotically. im not sure. i do want to impress her with what i can do yet at the same time i am scared about what she will think about what i do so its a double edged sword. ive wanted to impress her with how i dress but id feel so ashamed and studpid because she is clever enough to know...Read More...

I've "quit" several times in the past 2 years and only stayed away for 5 weeks. My P always welcomed me back graciously and never asked questions unless I raised the issue. I've never really felt ashamed that I quit until recently. In the past, I felt it was a necessity, perhaps an attempt to protect myself from being hurt, having been hurt before in therapy. Recently I said I was going to quit again but went back after 2 weeks. As we talked about it, and we've had some very good sessions...Read More...