It sounds like your T was inappropriate and you DH is being like a normal DH sometimes: insensitive. Men. LOL And you are sensitive to such friction because of your past. I am sorry it was so rough for you and I am glad you posted here as it probably helped vent some of it and we can send hugsRead More...

My T also has a notebook she has out during our sessions... and every now and then when something rather big gets discussed, she will write something down...But, she always seems to recall specifics from emails and previous sessions - So my assumption is that she takes notes on the session afterward, and possibly reviews notes prior to sessions. Perhaps it's just challenging to think that she'd actually retain all that information about me, things I've said, reactions I've had etc without...Read More...

DaRock Talk about pressure. You are going to be walking this fine line here trying not to be too needy and you won't be able to relax and enjoy the relationship. I'm sorry you feel that way about her. Hopefully you can work through your issues with your T and everything will just go smoothly. LieseRead More...

Wow thank you so much for all your great replies! It never stops to amaze me that sharing fears and having them validated and seeing that we all have them makes me feel immediately better! Need to keep practicing I understand life happens and (although unlikely) my T can indeed die. The thing is, my relationship with him is pretty much the first honest and deep relationship I've ever had (sad and depressing i know) so I'm not as optimistic about getting over him and finding someone else to...Read More...

My T's receptionist is her daughter-in-law. Their relation hasn't really caused any problems for me, although I do have other issues with the receptionist. Most of the time she is very pleasant and cheerful and conversational, but that has been greatly overshadowed by two major rifts between us over the past 3 yrs -- one of them recent. I was experiencing major frustrations over scheduling and having panic that there was no room for me in T's life because it was a constant battle to get the...Read More...

Re: What do you do?Read More...

So I have been trying not to peek at my T on FB but not very successfully. Yesterday, she posted her engagement photos which are beautiful but also shows her being very vulnerable with her boyfriend. I am completely obsessed (at least that's how it feels) in learning more about her life and what she's doing, with whom, and when. I have never been so curious about anyone in my life. I know its bad for my continued therapy, yet I continue to engage in the bad behavior. Oy, story of my life.Read More...

POOF.........GONE! Easy for me to say, because I don't deal with any of this. If I did, I would have to make- "under the table" my permanent home.Read More...

Oh, yeah, talk to NewT about it because I'm just speculating here. I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Only can try to relate your experience to mine. Glad NewT is supportive. That's great. Liese Done quite a bit of head banging myself.Read More...

Athenacus, I read the article the other day and meant to tell you that i enjoyed it also. Some people really have a gift and a passion and I think the author has both. Thanks for sharing it. LieseRead More...

I'm hearing that the silence gets more comfortable as the relationship gets more comfortable. Like orbit, I often freeze and can't find the right words. I start rambling and not even making sense to myself and keep asking her if I'm making sense. Luckily, the silences aren't often - but that's because I will usually ramble on because the silence makes me uncomfortable. I just don't like it when it's quiet and I know she's looking at me and I must look so stupid. I want to be invisible. My T...Read More...

My ex-T said a lot of warm and fuzzy things from how she like my hair or how soft my eyes were but what I liked the most was our talk on anger. She said: "if you expect to leave this office and never be angry, don't let the door hit your butt on the way out. Anger is a natural emotion and can be used right." kansasRead More...

I think he is being really really sweet to you and your littler parts.It is truly lovely to read about and all your reactions seem entirely normal to me and stuff that you can work through with him and gradually get perspective on. I am so glad he is there for you right now. Have you another week til your husband gets back?Read More...

born2write, somedays, mayo, held, Yaku, TN, Kansas and Sadly, BB, I know you had a reply in there somewhere. I read it before you deleted it???? BB, it was so good to hear from you. I'm sorry you felt like you had to delete. Thanks for all your thoughts and hugs. It's very hard. I can't always feel his warmth. He doesn't always show it. Part of me thinks I'm just running and another part of me thinks I'm being rightfully protective and asking for what I need. I've been reading Judith...Read More...

Even though I have hard time picturing T inbetween sessions and remember her voice better, I am able to hold on to her her face really well for a few days after session cos im still on that like "post session high" as I like to call it. Then it gradually fades and I can only picture certain features of her, like her smile and her eyes, her hair, but not everything as a whole. Im even able to remember the smell of her office and the clinic and her perfume as well which I find oddly...Read More...

I also do co counselling which is a form of therapy where both are equals, meet as equal and give each other equal time. You can train in it over about 8 - 10 weeks one evening a week and then make contact with local people trained in it. I had a very good co counselling partner some years ago and we worked well together for many years.Read More...

dear (((starfishy))) - I will always be here or around as my forum family are SO SPECIAL to me! I hope you're felling a little less wobbly. Be gentle with yourself. sRead More...

Blue. Beautiful. She is beautiful when I look into her eyes but also intimidating. She knows where my vulnerabilities are now. She knows that I hate silence after talking about something sensitive. She wants to stay with the moment and let me feel my vulnerability in front of her and when I look at her eyes, I feel so small and shameful. She's so beautiful *sigh*. I feel like I'm in love with her or something.Read More...

Thanks everyone for your advise and input. Today I had my session with T and it could not have gone better. Many of y'all might be surprised by this but I nor T brought up BFF in our session. For some reason, it made me feel really good. From day one T has made it clear that our time is our time and has given me no reason to believe that she would break that trust. At first I was jealous that BFF was going to be seeing my T but now I'm actually really happy for her. T is great at what she...Read More...

My T is VERY passive. Rarely does she talk, and rarely is she direct and when she is, boy do I feel it (thus the thread on "Disproportionate Reactions"). I usually have to go home and journal and journal until it is out of my system (or post here ). Occassionally I feel ready to "hear it" from her, so I will ask her something. Her response, "What do you think?" Sometimes that angers me and I say in response, "I knew you were going to do that." So, then she will answer my question(s). It...Read More...

Yes, Yes, I have this type of thing too. I've had it ever since I can remember. During elementary school tv's buzzing in the next room would bother me. Florescent light bulb buzzes and other children and their noises irritated me as well. As I got older I could control it a bit more unless I was under a lot stress and then things would get to me again. I can't wear wool either. My entire family has issues with fabrics/textures, sights and sounds. Just the other day I visited my children for...Read More...

So glad the visit went well and I hope the work on this release is going (or has gone) smoothly! (((AG))) Thanks for all you do around here! It's a blessing.Read More...

(((Liese))) (((BLT))) Thanks for understanding. I think I need to redo this post and some other stuff as a journal. I tried to tell T about it as an explanation for why I couldn't leave well today (he triggered my nurturing/caretaking again and I had to run off to avoid trying to take responsible for making him feel good, not worry about me, etc.). I am just awash in attachment pain. We are talking SO much more about everything lately, from now stuff to past stuff, to these bizarre internal...Read More...

i have lots of self-worth issues too i've learned... planting little seeds of self compassion, grows in to love eventually. every time you're gentle with yourself you water those things, every time you judge you take away the sun...and the growth slows down. that's been my experience so far. right now i have a tiny little ugly looking twig thing popping out of the ground but... hoping to have a tree for myself. it is as others have said, super long... super slow... super hard over the past...Read More...

cRead More...