Hey xoxo, thank you so much for that. I think I feel frustrated at why our sessions are capped with me and T. I want to tell her 'well, change it then! Why can't you change it? Why is it so dam hard for you? Were only part way through and I have to leave and you won't do anything about that?' So I guess that's anger. I'm mostly sad though. Right now anyway. Sad and confused. Lol. But there is clarity happening, slowly, slowly. This clarity has only started happening recently. Well..when T...Read More...

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm in a pretty bad spot right now. Things went from bad to worse and I'm just struggling. Couldn't post it in the OF, so if you have a few minutes to lend a listening ear (and to hear, unfortunately, some whining) please pop over to the sensitive issues forum. I'll try to reply to everyone more later. I have to go to bed before I get myself into more trouble.Read More...

Thanks Butterfly, Liese & Ninn. I have in fact decided to schedule a session this week with my T's associate in hopes of being able to work through some of the intense feelings I've been experiencing. I think this will be really helpful as to not make her return so entirely overwhelming to me.Read More...

I've never heard of this term but seems to fit me in many ways. I know I have too high of expectations and judge others mercilessly. However, at times I also feel like I let a lot of flaws "pass" because I don't want to lose the friends I do have that care about me. I find myself judging them in my mind and picking out all their flaws as if to add to my inner score card of why they will let me down and reject me. Yet, in person, I ignore the things that bother me - I think almost to a fault.Read More...

Eliana, I find it kind of mind boggling too. But I have a living example. My husband sees the same T (he was actually his T first and we've seen him for couples' counseling) and although my husband has a lot of respect for and likes our T, he's very laid back about when he sees him and really never worries about what our T thinks of him. I can sometimes envy him. AGRead More...

Sometimes you can't control genetics but I guess meds can help....Read More...

1. No 2. No 3. No to all 4. Yes, yes deffo 5. Yes, she was a fashion journo in her pre-therapist life, so is one of those classic well put together types, immaculate and tidy and always co-ordinated 6. No, I tend not to take care of myself physically at all 7, Yes she tries to compliment me if say I am wearing a nice scarf but I am so not used to not hearing compliments I tend not to respondRead More...

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((Raven)) thinking of you. hehe thanks again for all the hugs/pictures. I love those stick figure huggers I did something I've never done before after my appointment w/ P today... I went to the gym. I think I will make that standard. I don't see her for another 3 months *yay* *yay* *yay* I'm hoping the triggers can be even less next time but I'm not sure this is the least disoriented/destructive/terrified I've ever been there and I think it's because I let my T help and I felt like... in a...Read More...

Did you wish your T had gone skiing with you? your T sounds cool. I really wish I knew where everyone on here was from. Im on the East Coast of the USA.Read More...

Hi LG, It does sound like your T gave you a lot of personal information. I'd probably feel like you given the circumstances. My T seems to regularly give out a lot of personal information... so much so that I had to tell her that I was getting too much info. As a result she has become more sensitive to what she discloses. The interesting thing though is that the information that she has shared has been really helpful in me seeing her as a whole person. In some ways it has helped me to open...Read More...

You are not the only one! I am currently in that place and not wanting to go to session Thursday. I've generally felt things have been good and always looked forward to Thursdays. Now, I really do think she's trying to get rid of me and I have to confront her ~ which is what is hard and I don't want to go. Yes, this is true. We're so used to being hurt and protecting ourselves, it's hard to imagine anything different. at least we can trust ourselves to be predictable and find anything we can...Read More...

Hi Little Me, I'm really sorry that you have been having such difficulty in finding a T that really gets you & can work with attachment issues. It sounds though that you have been very resilient and have really been advocating for yourself - that's great. I hope that your upcoming meeting with your family doctor will work out well and that you may be able to get the specialist letter through him/her. It sounds like that could be ideal. Maybe, as you are exploring, moving abroad may be an...Read More...

dont know if u got my message but thkn u for ur concern. im getting thru the day *hugs* hope ur doing okRead More...

Jane somehow I have the impression you are in New York State. Are you familiar with real estate laws there? I think he has to give you 30 days notice. If its not in the contract I don't think he can evict you for something that is not in the initial agreement. LKRead More...

Thanks BraveHeart, That was wise to move to another school district but the whole incident sounds pretty traumatic, including having to actually move from where you reside. Do you know what ever happened to that kid? My T lives about 30 minutes or so away from his office and it seems like a smart move. (Note to T in that article: move your office to a distant town.) He probably does run into people sometimes. He told me that it doesn't bother him at all when he runs into clients except for...Read More...

Hey Effed, I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I definitely use humor as a defense mechanism as well, but my T always saw right through it. One particular session, I was trying to come off like everything was fine and dandy and I was joking around and being silly, but T had to ruin it lol. She looked at my kindly but sternly and basically said to cut the bull and that I couldn't pull that type of stuff with her. I still use humor to try and kind of play things off but T is quick to...Read More...

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your input in all this. I think I'm starting to feel stuff but it's so hard. It's so painful. I woke up this morning and I felt sick to my stomach. I felt like my body wanted to panic a bit too. The first thought that came to mind was my wish to have had a family. I feel like T is the substitute mother-figure for me and for her to leave makes me feel so, so sad and lost and alone and I can't feel anger still. I think I might be starting to let my feelings...Read More...

Liese, Exactly! This thing caught me off guard. Damn external validation, damn trust issues, sucks when they come together like this to cause pain... Thanks so much!Read More...

((Raven)) thank you so much. Sorry you are feeling so similar this week - hoping for you too that the journey gets easier. Definitely one day at a time...Read More...

Raven I just want to offer you so much support. I know how it feels. I hope next week is better and that you can figure out what to do without having too much pain over it. Good luck. QuellRead More...

you bet liese. thanks for your warm support. all the best to you. enjoy your weekend.Read More...

(((S))) So glad your P was able to be so present for you. I can't imagine what it must have taken to survive that as a baby and to re-experience it now. You're very courageous for doing so.Read More...

(((((LAURA))))) So glad things are looking up for you. You deserve it! HUGS< LieseRead More...

Hi DGUOM I can only talk a bit about t reading stuff in session, we did this quite a lot in the beginning because there was so much i couldn't say. At first it was a bit weird at first, to see her read stuff, I used to look at the floor a lot to get over that. Then i got more used to her doing it and even managed to get to the stage where i could tell t whether i wanted her to read it to herself or out loud or even read it after the session so we could try talking next time. overall it...Read More...