just saw this thread, Yaku and wanted to say that I am thinking of you and hoping that things work out. I think I have always tried to see therapy as a good investment and found a way to borrow if necessary to get through it. In the future when you are working more, you can easily pay back the money you might need to pay for therapy art therapy etc now. Sending moreRead More...

And, Alana, I would have trouble with the comment also, given your background. It sounded insensitive. Talking about it with her could be a good way to let her know what is going on in inside of you. LieseRead More...

Good for you Raven. Keep going. I want to one day feel something too and not look around and feel nothing at everything. I tried meditation, yoga, positive psychology. Nothing really worked and if they did, only temporarily and even that was dangerous. Every day we move closer toward the goal eh. xxRead More...

FMN - You don't need a psychiatric assessment to be feeling things/going through things/need friend's and family's love. Hugs to you, too! Yaku - do you have any on your "friends list" that you could write to at all privately? I have three I can, and only one I tell everything to. R2G - I remember when I went through outpatient (IOP) for a few weeks after going inpatient, we talked about the stigma of depression....even my therapist's intake forms have on it that "we should realize there is...Read More...

((((FREUD)))) Interesting dream. God, I love dreams. They are so illuminating, aren't they? I was wondering what messages your Mom gave you re: men. I thought your father was just as cruel as your Mom. Hence, he committed crimes as well but you loved him at the same time? Interesting that Laura's therapist said her mother was more manipulative and complex while her father's abuse was simpler/more direct. That rings true for me as well. Laura, my brother is 6 years older than me. xoxo LieseRead More...

Update Dr D is speaking to Dr B on Thursday. Dr D asked me how I'd like this to be resolved. Two years ago when we met after 7 years Dr B offered 50 minutes take it or leave it and then we were to never speak again. Who knows what Dr B is open to now. I've always dreamed of having full closure on it directly with her. Talking to her will be really hard. I have some big questions to ask her. I told him my ideal would be 3-5 sessions with one of the sessions in her old office. I wonder if one...Read More...

Cat - I am constantly apologizing, and T is there for me and has reminded me many times that nothing is off topic or too much to discuss. I'm the dolt that reads into things too much, and then end up tripping over myself to apologize! (I too, tend to overdo the apologies when things really get stressful for me, so I can relate to that!) Jane - I think I'm getting closer to ok with the med situation. I have already succumbed to the fact that I'll likely need anti-depressants the rest of my...Read More...

Thanks for the hugs Alpaca - They're great! Summer, what an experience you had with your P. I'm sure I would have just about fallen out of my chair as well. Sometimes our T/P's are not as attuned as we think they are. Thank you for continuing to encourage me to speak with my T around my feelings. It looks like that will work out okay. I am feeling much better today. I e-mailed my T this morning and she e-mailed me back saying that she was happy to hear from me and very pleased that I was...Read More...

sorry, I need to figure out how to make the picture smaller when posting.Read More...

xoxo, You're right things do become intertwined and it is so hard to keep them separate. Don't live near family but I did actually speak to her the other day and she sounded the same...anymore I just don't engage in too much with or about her...thanks for asking though. Take care of yourself. HopefulRead More...

xoxo, I PM'd you my response.Read More...

Echo, Since you have had a similar experience (but with somewhat better results)... you know it can be trying. Thank you for the multiple 's they were needed! kansasRead More...

Athenacus, I can relate with T needing therapy! I think it is ok to leave out some information and just hit important points. My T calls this filtering. While you are still in therapy you might ask T about disarming techniques to use with your X. Warm thoughts, kansasRead More...

(((Jane)))Read More...

Amen, sister!Read More...

wow. thank u for ur responses. Thnk u for helping me understand why this is hapening to me. I dont remember feeling like that all the time when I was little, doing that *deperson* thing, but I do remember it happening a few times, strangely, when nothing was happening...I remember it happening at school once. That blog post u posted was so helpful. I cant believe how it described things so wel and put the pieces together for me. Sometimes I need people to tel me things so I can believe them,...Read More...

Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments. I appreciate your understanding and care. T and I did talk about this for the entire session immediately after it happened. I called her this morning after a mostly sleepless night. And I am sure we will be talking about again during our next session. I was so affected by this there was no way I could have talked about anything else. I am sure she loved all of this great therapeutic fodder this encounter has created for us. The thing that T...Read More...

((incognito)) Gosh your way of relating to your T resonates very strongly with me. I feel like I can't start talking until I am comfortable and safe, and getting comfortable and safe occurs very rarely, so then I bring that up and it feels like, all I ever talk about is feeling safe in therapy when I know there is other stuff that needs to be dealt with. So, I have very little wisdom to impart since I seem (?) to be in a similar boat... all I can say is that, at times, I've resorted to...Read More...

Ninn - I've had what you're talking about with really good sessions followed by backlash sessions. I HATE that! I'm so happy to hear about your session it sounds very sweet and connecting - that's great! :heart blink: It's nice to have a safe place to express ourselves. I'm sorry you are sad right now... I find often (at least for me) connectedness brings on natural sadness (grief, I imagine) in tandem. Hope all goes well getting the right medication for sleep. My P has been trying to...Read More...

I liked Ativan. I only had it while I was off any other meds because I had it "left over" from when I had gone inpatient. My psychiatrist would not prescribe it for me. I had gone off all my AD's cold turkey this past June and just had the Ativan when my anxiety came back in October (when my separation happened). So....when I ran out of Ativan....I ran out of options....and unfortunately for me, when I made that first visit back to the doc (a new one thankfully!) I couldn't "cover up" all...Read More...

Sadly, You don't deserve that onslaught and character defamation from your former counsellor, nobody does - what a betrayal. Its tragic that there are individuals like her that are in the field. It is you that know's the truth though. In that you can rest. Stay strong, keep steady, we're here, you'll make it through. I'm glad that you also have the support of your current T. Do take care.Read More...

(((R2G))) Glad to hear it went well. I did know about the frying pan thing because my doctor told me when I was pregnant. I was also anemic at one point and my GP recommended using a cast iron frying pan as way to increase my iron. Plus, I must confess, I love cooking in cast iron. We have a HUGE cast iron skillet that is my husband and I's favorite pot. I hope the meds give you some immediate relief and they can get to the bottom of what's going on. Sorry to hear about yet another doctor.Read More...