Hello All! This "boundary template" is the only thing that my T would respond to. It worked quite well! He calls his technique "bashing" and between us, I won't let anyone talk to me that way and decided to establish a clear boundary. I have also begun to realize that my T and I BOTH are very headstrong and (fairly) intelligent and have a strong desire to be RIGHT. That is helpful information. But so is knowing that there are bad therapists out there, some very narcissistic types out there,...Read More...

DM: Ah! Thats exactly how I was. I should have gone to therapy a long time ago but my moods would change. If I was upset, I'd say 'Okay, okay, I'll consider therapy' but then when my mood got better, I was convinced that I was fine and therapy was not needed. It's difficult because those better moods are very influential I found. Glad that you are on your way to finding one And good luck! The best thing I done was start therapy. It's started to make things an awful lot clearer. I'm sorry...Read More...

I know, it's funny isn't it?! This forum is so much nicer and more civil than a hundred internet forums I've been on where everyone is supposedly "normal." Ironic, much??Read More...

xoxo, Did you mean me? That I'm looking for more ways for my therapist to fail me? Naaah, I am A-okay with my T. He's the best. You have no idea how much he was there for me this week, supporting me as I start my new job. I'm amazed and incredibly touched and blessed. He gave me a gift. The gift of his caring. Like the parent I never had. I'm always working on mentalization. I'm actually glad I've read about it because I do believe just being aware of the fact that some people apparently do...Read More...

Hi Heldincompassion! Agreed. Everything you mentioned, put together, sounds like a very nice balance.Read More...

I can't really say for sure, Da Rock. i'm still tempted to go back to him, ask for a session. The only thing that I can say for sure, is that I am doing better since I left hm. Marginally better. But better. and with things the way tehy were...anything is an improvement.Read More...

((Unbroken)) So happy for you that things are looking promising with this new T! Loved this. I think having that option for outside contact can be so helpful. When I left my session yesterday, T reminded me not to hesitate to call if I needed her. I think that was more healing for me than anything else we did or said in session that day! ((Unbroken)) Hope things continue to go well for you with newT!Read More...

Ah yes the staying away saga. I've got that right now. I've convinced myself away from my Mum. I want to spend xmas by myself but that too makes me sad. I'll be seeing her but for a few hours only. I get too sad there. The loneliness is something I really feel (My Mum's loneliness, and her reliance on me for her happiness). Good luck Raven ((hugs))You'll be okay.Read More...

Happy Birthday dear Yaku, I'm really praying you might have a lovely day starfishyRead More...

Wow! I felt good reading this, and I'm not sure what to say! Thank you againRead More...

(((Unbroken))) I am so sorry you've had to go through this disappointment with your T, but kudos to you for having renewed motivation to seek out the help you need. I believe there is such a *big* difference between choosing a therapist mindfully and picking one haphazard. The first therapist I tried to work with was a disaster. It was very short lived and I never got attached, but it wised me up to the fact that choosing a T was something I needed to do carefully, using both my objective...Read More...

Oh, and Mayo I was going to add that with the help and willingness of most of her teachers to learn about RAD and implement appropriate praise and consequences, my Sped daughter who had been retained in first grade when I got her is now in gifted and talented classes in 7th grade and is a model student! Teachers can make a huge difference in the lives of these kids and I bet you will too!Read More...

Thanks xoxo, That was nice! Hey, my Mom started me in school early too. So, I was the youngest in my family and the youngest in school and always felt as though I missed out on lots of stuff, jokes, etc. It seems like a really nice office and as T and I have discussed, I'm not going to focus on making friends. Just doing my job and being friendly to everyone. At that office, after that woman left, another group of attorneys came in and I was not a part of their group either. My boss was...Read More...

Hey, DF. I thought the same thing about number 9. And I also thought the first two or three looked like contempt. I don't know about this test, but I know of other studies that have used faces for things like this that are composites of several different expressions, so it's totally possible! Good luck on your paper, Cipher! I hope everything goes smoothly. Thanks for giving us these fun tests to take! Hehe.Read More...

oh and Somedays..yes, my T will give me things to take home. I wonder if it's because of what you say here....for attachment?Read More...

p.s. df, I didn't see your reply. Your suggestions make sense. There was a time where, when I lived closer to Mum, I got closer to her and even started hugging her closer but I was still finding it hard to mediate between what she wanted of me and what I wanted of myself. I will go over there for a restricted time for xmas. Maybe just for the day. I prefer to be footloose these days. I might feel lonely and feel this pervade me more, but I also feel clearer on my needs and my emotions. I'm...Read More...

(((((RAVEN))))) I get like that too, something happens and in a nano second, get thrown back into these old emotions as if it were yesterday. Your T sounds really supportive. It's as if you see the family relationships with a film over your eyes. At some point, the film will be gone and everything will be much more clearer to you and it won't hurt so much. At least that's what I'm hoping for. xoxo LieseRead More...

((((Raven)))) I was thinking (and hoping) it would pass, but I've still been having a hard time since the session with lots of moments of confusion and other stuff coming up. Even having a hard time to make it through this right now, for some reason. Sorry if I go quiet again for a bit.Read More...

Well, I've done some reading on "being mindful" and even though my T does not tell me about it or teach me about it, whatever she does has helped me name my emotions, find them, get in touch with them, and accept them. She has also helped plant positive thoughts (whenever I am negative) and I find myself looking for positives now, too. Anyway, to be more specific about my small success story: yesterday I had a call from the hospital billing gal and I was immediately overcome in emotion.Read More...

Oh, I should say that I did tell my T about it...five minutes before the end of my session. Then he brought it up with about 10 minutes left in the session after that. So I guess we're getting into it slowly! People have recommended nutritionists to me, so I might just be uncharacteristically pro-active and see if I can meet with one before I absolutely have to. Also, I told a couple of my friends about what's going on and that has made me feel better, not because I think it's great stuff to...Read More...

((((DF))))) It's almost as if the buildup to sharing the time line was so strong and so powerful, that anything else time-line related won't have that same feeling of... maybe satisfaction? Don't think that's the right word, but it's all I can find right now. I tend to over intellectualize when I redo things, to the point where my T has repeatedly asked me NOT to edit the journal entries I share with her, because I edit out all the feeling. The more I read over an entry or a letter I plan on...Read More...

I'll be following this post, and rooting for you. Yes, and wishing you peace as well.Read More...

Hehe, I like Liese's joke. Hope finals are going well, Cipher!Read More...

Liese and Somedays: Gotta run for now, but your posts are thought-provoking and I want to think about them for a bit, give them the attention they deserve. I have indulged myself in my inner world for a bit here, now the outer world awaits...its SHOWTIME!Read More...

Good for you, Raven! You should be really proud of yourself for reading that to T, and that you've found a good way to share things with T that help you not freeze up. I completely understand that 'freezing up' deal when you have to think of things without anything to reference. I find that I get a little better and more relaxed as the session goes on, but it can still be a struggle. Way to go!Read More...