Echoes, MASSIVE hugs to you. I can not imagine how painful it must've been to see your siblings getting the care and nurturing you must've been craving but were denied. No wonder it hurts so much to realise there are no photos of you. There are some of me with my family - both my parents are into photography so they are not usually in them but just us kids. I'm a wire monkey baby too. It's incredibly painful and not that I would wish that on anybody else it's some comfort to know others know...Read More...

held rose quartz on monday at group, dropped it with a clang/clunk and it went underneath the bookcase. Got down on my hands and knees at break time to find it. Held it during the next hour. heart chakraRead More...

Hi FOT!! It's so good to hear from you. I still remember when you went through that awful time with your former P. I'm so glad for you that you have continued working with this P and that he's so helpful for you. As for your question...I'm wondering if your P made something of a misstep here. It sounds like what you needed from him was encouragement to talk about it - to know that it was safe to talk about it and that he believed you. It sounds like that part of his response really helped...Read More...

Hi again Hope Rising, Just remembered another similar experience I had with the T before my last T. He took a lot of notes, and I never asked him not to...but there were a couple of times when I brought things I had written/drawn, and I wanted him to go over them with me, and he asked to make copies so he could read/look along with me...and then both times, he asked if it was okay to put these in my file. With the thing I had written, I was fine with it, but with the thing I had drawn, I was...Read More...

((((INCOGNITO))) Oh, I don't think its wierd at all that the wants rise up and then fall. It probably has something to do with fear getting in the way. Fear blocks a lot of stuff from getting communicated in the brain. Hope you are able to see T soon and that he is feeling better. xoxo LieseRead More...

I think that makes sense, DR. I'm sorry you had to deal with that :-( I hope you get to experience something different in the future!Read More...

Thanks for chiming in again. It's nice to hear that I may have done something right in my talk with H. It doesn't seem to have made all that much of an effect on him, on the other hand, the baby has been inexplicably more cheerful and easy going lately, so H has been much better, too. I'm afraid I just don't appreciate his good moods very much when I have to attribute them to hers, though. On the other hand, it's been good to have a little more peace around here. I do think H's attitude may...Read More...

Re: T admits a big oneRead More...

As I said in my recent other post regarding timekeeping, my T has a timer that BEEPS LOUD at 20 min.left, 10 min.left, and end of session. I kind of forget about it in between and it startles me each time! After the final beep she slides to the edge of her chair, closes my file and ends us in prayer. She usually stands first and goes to the door while I am getting my bag together. She pats me on the back and says "bye!". Sometimes I'm not out the door before she is calling the next person in...Read More...

Hello I think it is very normal to feel that way . My therapy ends in march next year and I'm already grieving the loss of my therapist . She assures me that this is a natural process , but to me it feels like hell . I'm also very attached to my T and she says I will feel a huge loss and shed tears for that's natural as well . I hope this was sort of helpful .Read More...

Not well said. Glad you think you are worth it, because you are. We are. Thanks for helping me see this in myself as well!Read More...

My T's office is in her home... So when I arrive, I go though the yard and knock on the door... It never takes her longer than a few seconds to open the door. When I arrive, she unplugs the landline phone and turns on the timer thing on her iphone. She always turns the phone upside down on the table so she can't see the screen. There are no clocks in the room at all, at least, none that I've ever seen. Near the end of the session, I think it might be with 10 minutes to go... her phone makes...Read More...

Hey LL--She didn't say why, but the implied undertone I felt in the situation was that she feels that new P is a better P in general. I think pressuring me to switch might have been an instance of her getting a little too personally invested in my care for a minute, kind of mom-ing me rather than being impartial. She shows care in small indirect ways like this. She doesn't hug/touch (with me anyway, no idea about others), or say she cares (I've never asked), but she'll say some current event...Read More...

Cipher, Glad you're back on here and your H is going to therapy now. Sounds like things are getting better and I'm happy for you. HopefulRead More...

Agree with Monte and LL on the session times. I wonder what your T would think about some of my sessions. I kind of feel like a bit of a freak. My longest (doing parts work around some memories) was several times what he feels the maximum someone can handle is. It was exhausting, but there was so much relief after processing that stuff uninterrupted. I often wonder how anyone can even work in 50 minutes. Sometimes I can barely start REALLY talking at that point... I guess whatever works for...Read More...

you are too funny, echos! Thanks for the laugh...Read More...

(((BRAVEHEART))) Oh, yes, good point about the emerging self. And BB makes some good points too. I guess it's all good as long as you feel like you CAN talk about the relationship if you need to. I can see how it would be helpful to work on you and then maybe you actually won't NEED to talk about him anymore. BB, good luck with your friend. It's so hard. My sister does the same thing. Goes over and over the past, over things she can't change. I keep thinking that something feels unresolved...Read More...

Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you DF and hoping you are once again finding some balance and that you were able to process your session and calm the emotional storm. Your T sounds like she handled things really well. Let us know how you are doing. Hugs TNRead More...

(((((((((( Sadly ))))))))) LLRead More...

Thanks Liese, I keep reminding myself that this holiday season will soon pass too...just like the othersRead More...

((((YAKU)))) I really believe this to be true. It's as if the pain is all there but unprocessed and so you can't move around it. It's like a dead weight. And any new pain just gets added to the pile. But if you take it all out and process it and acknowledge it, it still hurts but somehow takes the edge off and hopefully you can learn to do it as the pain is happening the present so the pile doesn't build up anymore. And hopefully, you will be in a better position to be able to filter through...Read More...

Hey, where are 'ya Frosty????? Puppet and I need more psychoanalytically-oriented people here to talk with!!! Miss seeing you aroundRead More...

Update: Deepie your advice was spot on. T agreed that for people like me I need to be super relaxed and calm before I can start to imprint a safe place in my mind and she said that yes I will need to practice and practice to get the peaceful feelings to be associated with it. I downloaded a mp3 recording of some breathing mindfulness to do when i sit at my special place. I also looked at some things on youtube to help me as well as reading about it. I just need to keep trying.Read More...

Oh, from my perspective, it seems really clear that he is trying to correct your internal interpretation that he doesn't care, by reminding you that there are times when you can feel his care, so that your current feelings of his not caring are shown to be false to you. I think he is trying to remind you of the times when you felt good and safe with him, not just trying to nit-pick the way you speak..it's because what you say can become internalized so he wants to undo the message- "he...Read More...

Thanks! I needed a laugh. Sorry to hear about the surgery and no driving for two weeks. That stinks! I don't think it's fair that these Ts of ours take breaks over the holidays, either. My T will be out for a while too so it will be 3 weeks for me between sessions. After weekly appts. that feels like forever. I too would be shutting down except that I'm too mad at my T to be doing so right now. I think she's even forgotten that this next week she would typically be calling me if she gets a...Read More...