Oh, I am sorry...i had to delete, I am not sure why... apologies, all aroundRead More...

Somedays I´m sad to hear that your T isn´t as perfect as it sounded at first. And I can understand that now some of the things she said in the wonderful session sound just like she read the “attachment 101 – textbook” before seeing you. It must hurt a lot. I can feel that with my own T, that it is hurts a lot more when you have started to believe they are truly there for you and it is hard to believe. Then the next session they say something that we think proves that of course no one could...Read More...

This is absolutely true...you need to experience it over and over and again...many, many times before it will feel safe to let it in. It is as simple, and as difficult as learning to play a musical instrument...a matter of doing something the wrong way so many times, until your brain figures out the "right combination" and can respond the way you need, and that is appropriate. Slow but steady wins the race...every time. So I applaud your courage in pursuing the goal of allowing another to...Read More...

MONTE!!!!!!! It is so good to see you back I hope you will stick around and post lots more about how you're doing and how your therapy is going - I really missed your posts (((((((( Monte ))))))) LLRead More...

Hi Jane, I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now. It's so important to be mindful and I hope you can get there and be in the moment. It sounds like your T is attuned to you. It sounds like you two had a good talk. I have been feeling so good about my T, I wish I could share the peace I have right now. Thanks Jane for being so there for me too. You're awesome and have so much to give. Love, NDRead More...

heldincompassion, I don't know what I'm doing about 90% of the time with this anyways. After last session it took me about a week before I was able to accept the rambling and to pull anything really positive from it but eventually I did...but it can be hard to hold onto without going back to not accepting myself/behaviors again...I keep trying but get discouraged again...vicious circle. I just try not to give up! Thanks for your encouragement...not going for another 10 days as I don't go too...Read More...

A friend of mine mentioned that perhaps viewer discretion should be in order. It makes sense. I mean films that show bloodshed are usually rated 15 or over. Why should the news be any different? UV; I'm sure it wasn't. I was funny about putting this up incase people didn't agree with it being up. Most of the posts, if not all, seem to be about therapy but it did say coffee talk! Ha.Read More...

Chiming in to say "not weird at all, Ninna." Particularly, for me, the issue of touch. I can only do it if my brain shuts down so that I'm not really present for the handshake or the hug, to say nothing of more intimate touch. I finally raised that issue with T, sharing with him an incident I posted about a few months ago where I wasn't expecting his proffered hand for a handshake and completely freaked out. We discussed the fear aspect and he held out his index finger asking me to touch...Read More...

((((BUTTERFLY)))) Will miss you. Take good care of yourself while you are gone. xoxo LieseRead More...

BG, Yeah, it was a red flag for me too. Not enough to make me want to find another T, because I feel I am doing some good work with this T and have improved a lot as a result of therapy with her already, but I'm keeping an eye on things. I'm hoping what happened in the pregnancy session was just a poor judgement call on her part. . . none of her other disclosures have had a negative effect on my therapy, so I guess I can deal with a random mistake as long as it doesn't turn into a frequent ...Read More...

Well... my T was her usual, awesome, wonderful, calm, even, self. I shared the letter with her, though I had her read it, cause there was no way I'd have been able to read it to her without bawling. I do think writing the letter was rather cathartic, and it felt a little scary sharing it, but my T said it was actually very helpful for her to get a glimpse into where I actually am... whether I am willing to admit it or not. She was pretty pleased, actually, since it was the first time I...Read More...

No one ever "got" me. I feel intensely; no one understood the pain.Read More...

YAKU, That's an interesting term. I'll have to look into it a little. You are probably right, she is really exhausted!!! LOL!!!Read More...

i just stumbled across this thread, as i was looking for a "Jones post". I was telling my husband about your cute link... "It's ok if your shoes aren't diong it." Our duaghter- both took ballet. Ok- now that I am here, i guess I should comment on the topic, hmmm... Conflict in our house- meant run for cover, duck, hide...he is home. He was the source of conflict, and he (my father) did not tolerate conflict unless he was causing it. Run was always my m. o. but I am learning that conflict...Read More...

Oh Hoosier, I don't know what to say except that I am so sorry. Finding that picture had to be incredibly painful and then to learn that his obit never mentioned his previous family to boot. You didn't even know he died? BIG HUGS, LieseRead More...

I'm very glad bee, that you didn't read if it was triggering material. I needed to delete since I trigger myself by posting about stuff like that! I'm sorry I had to take it down.. go gently now, and stay safe... hugs, BeebsRead More...

Hi AG. Thanks. From reading the excerpt from this book it sounds very interesting and look forward to reading it. Thanks again.Read More...

((( Liese )))- So rapt for you. Glad it worked out super duper well. Your T is a keeper.Read More...

kitten vs TWO scary things: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-1F-CokXNU (very cute and funny) Quantum Levitation - cool geeky video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...hTw7RA&feature=share Puppies! really cute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...re=player_embedded#!Read More...

Hi Newtothis, Wow, my gut reaction is, wait until you and your wife feel comfortable with the request- if that ever comes. If you've only been seeing your T for four months, there is still a lot s/he has to learn about you. And s/he should be concerned only about you. What your wife or your wife's T thinks really does not matter. In addition, if you and your wife are in counseling together (congratulations) then I think that should be enough. I'm not usually this opinionated but I just don't...Read More...

((((JANE))))) What a beautiful and tender moment you described between you and equine T. That sounds like a moment to hang onto for a long time. I so relate to not wanting to go to the depths of the pain alone but being afraid to go there at all and the terrible bind that is. Did I say that right? I might have screwed that up but that is so often how I feel. How you said it described the feeling perfectly. I know I need to go there eventually with T but it's such a deep, intimate place to go...Read More...

((((INCOGNITO))))) I am NOT sorry I asked but I am sorry that things have been so hard. And that fight between H and his family had to take a huge toll as well as being so sick. We've had some family fighting in the past 5 years and it's really hard so I know how bad that feels. Therapy is hard but you do sound like you are in sooo much pain, too much pain that it might be counterproductive. I hope you are able to get across to him how much pain you are in and that you need help from him...Read More...

It's difficult with me because I tend to put labels on myself at the moments that I feel most vulnerable or emotional. I don't know if I have it fully. I think I will just try and deal with my feelings without labelling symptoms and if it gets too bad anytime, I'll go to get assessed. I can cope pretty well in daily life right now. I need my therapist to monitor the way I speak, act, intellectualize for her to see the patterns. It's too confusing for me. If it is BPD, BPD can be overcome...Read More...

I don't know how to rename a thread to say update. So I'll just say this is an update. I am more calm than I've been in a week and I feel incredibly blessed. I had my session today and the bottom line is that my T has me very securely. I was completely honest and today was a lot about the transference and me missing him so much during the week. I was able to tell him that and to ask about more time. Long story short, there was a lot of conversation about me also seeing his associate for...Read More...