((((STRM)))) Thanks for thinking this through with me. I'm sure everything is fine with T and I'm just freaking out after talking to Pdoc. At the end of my session on Monday, T was just smiling at me. When I asked him why, he said "because I feel connected to you and it makes me happy after all we've been through." I just have to focus on that. I thought therapy was only hard on me. When I used to have my little "crisis" and feel as though I had to run it never occurred to me that it was...Read More...

MH I just don’t get your T. I can see why she’d say it was a mistake on her part to initiate texting you that day because she seems to feel that had she not done it, things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did. But it does seem grossly unfair to say it was a mistake when it’s exactly the sort of contact you’re needing. It does sound that she is thinking of your best interests, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s getting it right. I really do not like her analogy using your...Read More...

((((ND)))) So brave you of to ask for a hug. I think I asked my last one for a hug when I quit therapy but didn't realize then how loaded the topic was. If T was uncomfortable with hugs, maybe he probably would have said no to begin with? Butterfly, I know the no-touch thing has nothing to do with me. It was hard that he just announced it one day. I felt as though I must have been giving off some kind of signal that he felt like he had to say something, like I was going to ambush him or...Read More...

Hmmph! I think it ought to be against the law for T's to take such long breaks! How can that be in the best interests of some of their clients? I have to agree that T1 has not been very consistent and actually rather flakey, which isn't good news either. But still, I'd like to give some of these T's a piece of my mind when they take off for such ridiculously long lengths of time.Read More...

Hi Someone. It sounds like your pretty much prepared to get in there tomorrow and talk about some of these things. I hope the session goes well for you. Don't blame you for not feeling ok about sharing some of the things on your list - even with T. Maybe hitting her with a whole lot of things would be counterproductive (lol in my experience Ts don't seem able to deal with a deluge of stuff, they're more effective when you give them bite sized chunks of things to respond to). So if you stick...Read More...

Wow, thank you so much for your sincere words, LG, they really helped me. You have a nice way of putting things in a way that somehow helps me to accept better. I really appreciate it. Hugs to you, too! (((LG)))) BBRead More...

SG Thanks for sharing. It puts a much different and kinder spin on things to ask instead, what have I learned? instead of always viewing everything through the failure lens.Read More...

I think this double session, pre arranged- idea is the solution here. I feel inordinately grateful to my psychologist for being flexible on time for me. I am in a very unusual position really. I get free therapy, which is flexible between one and a half hours a week and sometimes he stretches that spontaneously to 2 hours. So I always set aside two hours. And it is FREE!!!! Plus a one hour phone call imbetween the weekly session if I need it. I dare not ask him WHY he is so kind to me. I...Read More...

Poetic. Speechless. You have quite a way with words!Read More...

missing you much!!!Read More...

I have to chuckle a little. BG, when you asked if the marriage was volatile and if she treats people badly you're pretty much right on target. She and my dad's wife (the three of them are great friends now BTW) are very controlling and my ex even has that reputation around her hometown. We separated several times and she made -everything- my fault. She'd continue a fight with me while our daughter watched, even as I was trying to halt it until she wasn't watching anymore. And I appreciate...Read More...

Thanks for posting that smallfry. I don't think we have met yet so welcome to the forum. Looking forward to getting to know you. TNRead More...

Kashley, I certainly understand the desire to push when the clock is ticking down like that (I have spent all 25 years of my therapy impatient with my progress ) But I have to agree with Beebs that trying to move too fast actually slows you down. I also want to assure you that it won't be wasted or meaningless. It was really scary for me when my first T told me she was retiring as we were definitely not done yet. She had decided to go back to school and pursue a different career (for very...Read More...

Thanks TN for the support and understanding. I wish you were my T. Seriously though, I'm now having very mixed feelings about having scheduled that next session at all. I felt okay for a little while after talking to T, but now the pain of the last day and a half has returned to me, along with flashbacks of the anxiety that I experienced sitting there with my phone for an hour and a half wondering what was wrong. I never thought I would say this, but I literally feel scared of T because I...Read More...

TN, It was so great to read the words you wrote when you said: I know it's him and not me although it took me a long time to recognize that. I know I am in safe hands. Yaku, Isn't it a great article? I really related to it.Read More...

JD it takes admin privileges to close a thread so it's either myself or Shrinklady. However if the author who started the thread deletes the first post the whole thread is deleted. However, this means you are deleting other people's post which by forum rules are owned by them. Hope that answered your question.Read More...

Hey there Jane, The conversation would totally throw me too!! Her statements and then the silence. It would put me into a tailspin. I find it very hard - but I'm working on it - not to invalidate myself when someone else has a different opinion. Being able to hold two opposing opinions in my head at the same time and not feel threatened and still feel good about myself is definitely an area that I need work in. It's very hard. Do you think you will go back to her? xoxo LieseRead More...

Forgetmenot, All of your questions are really good ones and take a lot of hammering out with your T. It took me a long time to get over my distrust. Hopefully it won't take you as long. xoxo Liese P.S. Yes, time and patience .. you got it!Read More...

This thread is being closed because Which Sadly you consistently do but refuse to engage in discussion of. If someone reacts, it is labeled as their problem. This is going no further this time as I am closing this thread. AGRead More...

Oh ND, your mother sounds a lot like my mother. She used to always ask me if I remembered certain people, kind of like, don't you remember the so and so's and all the fun we used to have? And I always thought there was something wrong with my memory but one day (not that long ago, unfortunately) I realized that ALL of her memories are tied to things and people related to my older brother who is 6 years older than me and the firstborn. They have a very pathological relationship and I think...Read More...

beauty4ashes ~ wow, wonderfully beautiful poem!Read More...

Kashley, So glad you like the name, I have to give credit to Strummergirl for the original nickname of Boundary Ninja and to DF for adding the "Tales" part. I am very grateful to both of them, as I must confess, I found the name very fitting. Hi River!! It's is wonderful to hear from you, I am delighted that you will be reading! Thank you. HIC, So glad you found the list useful! As I said, I really really should be getting a commission for General Theory of Love. I hope you enjoy it, it...Read More...

Welcome from me, too! Looking forward to seeing you around! BBRead More...

Glad that you are going to continue therapy! I often get worried. 'I'm okay! Do I need therapy. Am I just being an irritating person to my T. Does all this really matter. What matters is earning a living, right? Setting up my life?' For the first time I'm giving myself a break in trying to define myself on the outer. Scary thing that. That too. Yes, showing a regard for the good things in life that we should be proud of and dealing with the inner pain/turmoil that comes out at times. For a...Read More...