Somedays: well done for you darl, its so nice that she helped out and supported you. I too believe I had BPD. What you said about the over-reaction about your childT. I had practically the same reaction of the thought of having to leave to go to Uni. Suicidal, thinking of ways to die, started starving myself, panic attacks, constant crying, cutted a few times and was in bed for 1 week feeling absolutely terrible. I ended up cancelling University. She could see through it. I felt so...Read More...

Thank you so much for all the feedback and support. My mood has plummeted the past few days. All sorts of negative thoughts and impulses are raging inside me. I've had almost 4 months to work on this goodbye, but I don't feel ready. So much of my therapy the last 4 months have been directed at some big issues and my falling apart about him leaving. I don't have anyone irl to tell about this. Again, thank you all so much. This is a great place and I hope to become more involved with the...Read More...

Yeah, Liese...it seems so impossible sometimes, doesn't it? Luckily, I am not faced with the full brunt of it. T couldn't do a full double tonight. He had to change it last minute due to a calendaring error, so I will probably get 1:15 to 1:30. It doesn't sound like Wednesday was open. He is offering me an extra long Friday at his other office, unfortunately during the day (which is really hard for me for very specific reasons)...but he kindly informed me that it was working out, because he...Read More...

Thanks (((Draggers))) (((AG))) (((Beebs)))Read More...

(((((((draggers)))))) I hope you will be in a better space soon, sweetheart...love to you- just take care of you right now and come back to us when you feel able. BeebsRead More...

I have a growing list of Spiritual Directors and T's too! The latest is T6, when we first met it was like we had a psychic connection for a while because I knew things about the place and him that I couldn't have known and he seemed to know a couple of things about me which he couldn't possibly have done without more contact. He did say he felt we had a connection, though that may be a technique some use, who knows. Anyway, I have gotten further with this one in a few sessions than I ever...Read More...

AG! Brilliant. Just brilliant. LOVE the explanation of transference. It makes perfect sense to me...especially the starving dog being thrown steak. That's me! HG--I totally saw my transference quickly transfer onto three different people in a period of 4 years. First it was my OB/GYN. I was totally obsessed. Then it was a colleague, and now it's T. I seem to only feel it strongly towards ONE person at a time. But, as AG said--I am so glad it is with T now so I can figure all of it out. PHEW!Read More...

UV, This article comes at a very appropriate time for me and has given me much food for thought. Thanks!Read More...

It was brought on by financial problems. I have pinpointed the exact problem. I am looking for a technique or some advice on what to expect when this happens. Can anyone help with this? My sympathetic nerve is stuck on.Read More...

Thanks, happy to be here, most relieved to find this forum indeed : ) Well she was T5, T6 is male and thankfully doesn't notice what I wear and lets me come in my jeans. Therapy is hard enough as it is without having to try to make myself look nice too when I am in pain. Body work? what is body work?Read More...

Oh AG. I'm going to have a little tantrum now. I was beginning to get somewhere with an attachment to oldT and maybe we could have worked through some of these feelings and got to the bottom of them but I'm not allowed to see her anymore and IT'S NOT FAIR. To think that I need to start all over again and find a new attachment figure. Yikes. I think finding someone who works with attachment would be very helpful. Your T sounds great. But then so do you AG. You two really deserve each other.Read More...

Aren't insights and breakthroughs just the best thing NDRead More...

((((INCOGNITO))))) Just glad that you were able to tell T something that has been hard for you and that you don't feel stuck anymore. xoxoxo LieseRead More...

IN a long post session email to my T I put on paper things that I was afraid to say about what I want to get out of therapy and what I want from him. I used some of the words that some of you had already used. Why change it when it already works? Here are my thoughts: What I Learned/Am Learning from Therapy 1. I'm learning that I am not the person I was always afraid I was. 2. I learned that even though it looked like abandonment and felt like abandonment, you did not abandon me. 3. I'm...Read More...

Hi STRM, I just finished reading the article. I liked it. I think the models it presents for understanding our experiences of positive and negative affects seem potentially very valuable. I found myself considering some of my own bouts of depression in new ways, based on the ideas presented in the article. For instance, when I was growing up, most anything I really liked was considered suspect by my parents, so the positive affect of "interest-excitement" was constantly being interrupted.Read More...

I have watched a lot of The Simpsons lately. The Guardian is waiting for me to read it. I don't read it out of any real interest. It is mostly out of boredom. Our kitchen still has many moths flying about. Moth extravaganza out here. I need my own place. Living on a friends kitchen come lounge where the sofa is located is starting to really, really aggravate me. And now that I am having therapy and stuff is coming out, I really, really, REALLY value my solitude. On top of this I cannot deal...Read More...

((deepfried)) How wonderful that you have such loving feelings towards the members of those groups. I can see that being a positive experience once I am ready for it. I love the book idea upon graduation. I would cherish that, too. These are people that get to know one another VERY VERY intimately, so it makes sense how important those books and bonds would be. --BrokenRead More...

Hi HIC, I just wanted to comment on the money aspect. My T allows both phone calls and emails between sessions and has never charged me for either. He considers it part of the service. My usual phone calls are around 2-3 minutes. A really long call runs 10 and my longest ever was 15. When I stopped going regularly (I 'ended' evidently didn't take too well ) I asked about his contact policy and he told me that nothing would change, he was still my therapist and I could call or email anytime.Read More...

Hi Inis, I hope you won't be offended but your subject line made me laugh. Not laughing at you, just the fact that T's have this stereotype for a reason, eh? My T is not a frequent head nodder, only occasionally does she do it. When she does do it, however, its usually accompanied by a tight-lipped smile as though she's trying to suppress her thoughts from being known, even though obviously I said something that she found to be funny or ironic. I can't quite imagine what she looks like...Read More...

((((((DF)))))) I am late to the thread and you have already resolved it, but I am going to respond to your initial post anyway....just in case this issue comes up again, or if someone else has a similar concern and reads this thread looking for some input... I just wanted to say that even in relationships where money isn't exchanged to keep it going, people make calculations in how they are going to interact with people. It doesn't make the relationship less real in doing so. I know it may...Read More...

I'm still new to this therapy thing and T unfortunately missed the boat on commemorating it, because he didn't answer my question about it soon enough. So, he didn't understand at the time what I was doing, but I told him later. I gave him a hand-made sock monkey. It is on display on the shelving that is attacked to the top of his desk. He now gets it out immediately when I come to the office, along with turning the lights down for me. I guess it's as much a gift for me as him, though, since...Read More...

Hi Liese, Nice to meet you too. Where is your name from? Ah yes the word 'nothing'. I guess one can always make something out of nothing. We talked today about it. She mentioned that I must be willing to express myself in any way I wish for the therapy to work. I kept telling her that I never want to get angry at her. She asked why and I said 'because you are nice and I don't want to make you angry'. She was nice about it. However I am so sensitive that I might be willing to become very...Read More...

There's a whole description as to what each interval on the scale means as far as functioning goes..I can post it if you like. It's also readily available on Wikipedia and stuff. I range from probably around 41-60, sometimes on the lower end of that (like right now), sometimes on the higher end. You'll get to that upper range, Liese. And you're right, all that matters is getting to the point where you're content where you are. Maybe people in the upper 90's are too happy.Read More...

hi BG, i think that's a good idea to focus on forgiving yourself and i love what you wrote : i think that's so powerful and makes me start to look at forgiveness from a different perspective. AG, thank you for your words of wisdom and especially for your very moving story. the second book you mentioned looks very interesting, i might look into it! which shows that i'm definetely more at the not forgiving end of the spectrum, but I'm ok with that. everyone's replies really helped me to look...Read More...