Short and sweet.Read More...

(((Draggers))) I have to tell you stuff in PM, because I'm after writing stuff, I'm apparently "not allowed" to post it here. But, I did not get another handshake, because we ended the session in kind of a different way, as I had a rough time with potential memory stuff and T walked me out to my car, since I was in an unfamiliar area. He also called, as he forgot to check if I was comfortable with the directions home, and said he'd leave his phone on for 40 minutes in case I got turned...Read More...

Thanks BB and LG. I agree with both of you. Thanks to all for the much needed support!Read More...

That's SO awesome! Great job!!!Read More...

I've had one dream so far about mine. I was cycling down the road back from my previous job. I saw her walking down the sidewalk holding sipping on a cup of tea. I desperately wanted to walk past her so that she would notice me and say something. Then I'm on some sort of gokart going past some shops and all I can think about is 'She's around here somewhere. Where?'. I felt nervous and a bit saddened in the dream because I knew I could not get to know her. I was very confused as to where she...Read More...

Hey heldincompassion, No problem. Thanks for your lovely post. I'm in a very mixed state of confusion at the moment. I've been lately feeling that I live in a variety of subtle masks that are tailor made to fit the world and for each person too. My childhood ups and downs were absolutely normal from aged 0. So I often find it very hard to understand emotions. Sometimes I really nitpick and ask friends what it 'feels' like to feel this or be inspired etc. I've had a grueling 2 weeks and I...Read More...

Thanks guys...I imagine I am probably posting as much as many of the members do, though! It's just I posted *so* much before, and was constantly here...so I felt I owed a little bit of explanation, why I am not around so much! Still here, still posting when I can! Love you all- BeebsRead More...

(((starfishy))) (((Draggers))) (((Jones))) Thanks for all the support. Yeah, H is over there until Wednesday, the 21st, a few days before Boo's birthday. If it hadn't been for her birthday, he would have been there even longer. They tried to schedule his trip such that he would be flying back ON her birthday. But, he said that he wouldn't go unless he could be back at least a few days to get adjusted to the time, so he could really celebrate his daughter's 3rd birthday with her. So, Jones,...Read More...

Well, I have been in therapy for about a year. But, mostly during this year I have mostly been "trying out" therapists. I have tried 3 or 4. Wednesday I have an appointment with the first counselor I had seen. I like him (and have always liked him). He had said some insightful things to me. We just had an issue that we could not agree on and he would not let it go. I am hoping that we can work it out this time.Read More...

Hi CNC My T did some CBT on me a while ago to conquer a certain fear I had speaking in public. It was challenging in that I had to: really look at why I felt that fear and behaved how I did; had homework tasks that invariably pushed me a little (note, not too much if not it won't work ....neither will too little ); BUT OMG it really worked! The fear was overcome to a great extent in a matter of a few weeks, I continued to work on it for several months and it has never returned. I would NEVER...Read More...

Thanks, to you too, Puppet and Yaku! I wanted to come back and reply to the posts from before...I have not had any time, between all the stuff that has been happening around here. I haven't even got a chance to read any of the threads much, besides not being able to reply to them.. I just wanted to mention that Liese's reply, really gave me some insight into the idea that a T could have negative feelings about dependency in a client, viewing it as something "bad" and that could contribute to...Read More...

Awwww TN that is fab. LOVE your new avatar and the reasons behind it. Makes me think I shall do some thinking on mine xxRead More...

Hey Yaku, Sorry I was late to come to this and your other thread...how are things going today? Really pleased for you that things are moving forward with the touch issue! Also, even though it may have seemed embarrassing at first, I like the way your T framed the whole anniversary thing. At the very least, it hopefully has made it a little easier to contemplate sharing some other anniversaries or birthdays in the future? I'm sorry it seems like you may have to have a daytime session and that...Read More...

Hi heldincompassion, Nice to meet you on here> I think I have a big tendency to intellectualize absolutely everything that I am not familiar with. For the past week I have tried to work out what I feel, what I don't but unfortunately it hasn't really drawn much conclusion out but confusion and panic. I find it hard to 'let go'. I'm not sure what that means anyway. I will follow your advice and talk to her about it. Thank you I hope your therapy is going well.Read More...

((((INCOGNITO)))) You sound so much better. And the discussion with your T was so comforting. I was thinking about how he had compassion for you even if you didn't have it for yourself: that he wasn't angry you were searching through the facebook, that he realized that you were only trying to connect, that it wasn't such a great way for you to feel connected to him as it only brought more shame up for you on top of the fact that you weren't even actually connecting with him and that he...Read More...

Hi Butterfly, thank you for your kind reply. I still haven't heard anything and have started to think that, for whatever reason, she won't be getting in touch with me. Do you think that telling her she is the nicest person in the world was too strong and could have frightened her off?Read More...

Thanks Yaku, I have been wondering if it's time to ask former T about asking me to leave. I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet. She has asked me to come back to couples counseling but with my strong feelings for her, I think that would be so painful and my new T agrees. My new T said the worst thing I could possibly do is go back and talk to my old T. She said that I would just get hurt again. I want to ask my old T questions. I'd like to know why she reacted the way she did. I want...Read More...

Hi SBR, thank you for your comments to my post. I'm sorry that my situation resonates with you. It's a difficult place to be. At first I felt no anger because I was in such deep grief. The grief overwhelmed any other possible emotion. Lately, I have felt more anger, especially after that last meeting we had. Unfortunately, a lot of anger gets misdirected towards my current T, who does not deserve it. He is really wonderful, despite being human LOL I think the anger is a good thing if it is...Read More...

Hi Blackbird, Nice to meet you. Thankyou for your reply. Well therapy has to stop because I'm due to move 3 hours away. The thought of it makes me sick. The thought of being alone makes me sicker. I am willing to travel every weekend on a 6 hours train journey just to keep going. I feel that I am in the midst of things and cutting off will be like cutting off a lifeline I really need right now. I go through weird ups and downs. One minute I'm okay and nothing seems to be wrong. The next...Read More...

I saw eq t today and it was a weird session. But good. I think. Towards the end, I told her I sometimes get angry and have no idea what to do with it. I didn't bring up anything about my other T but eq T and I talked abour anger, and she said, "I want you to know, your anger is welcome here." I looked her her funny, and she went on to explain that she used to not be ok with other's anger or her own, and she doesn't have solutions for it... but she has done a lot of work herself on anger, her...Read More...

Just got a call back from my therapist. Short call, but both of us in tears on phone. IK now know it's not the end, as he said when he has dealt with his personal issue he will ring and we can continue. Still feel very lost, but need to look at this as a challenge - I want to make him proud of me for being able to use the skills he has taught me for times such as this.Read More...

I've found it's been kind of helpful, to talk to someone who is not only outside of the context of my ordinary life, but very dissimilar to most of the people I've known well up till now. However, I should clarify that I grew up in something of a cult, so that probably influences my desire for a T who is "different." She pointed out our differences and the potential for conflict at our first session, but I insisted I wanted her anyway. So far it's been a good fit. Anyway, I didn't mean to...Read More...

Thanks for the support here! Today was harder, because she knew what to expect and they didn't have paints out to get her really engaged. I stayed about 30 minutes to get a clean separation, because Auntie is picking her up today, so her whole routine will be off. She cried once for about five seconds when the teacher tried to engage her, but the second time the transfer went smoothly. I hope she's doing OK and not being a banshee!Read More...

((((BG))))) Sometimes it feels like my whole post-going-to-therapy-regularly experience has been about dealing with shame. Now that I am able to freely experience my feelings, I notice that I'm feeling that way a lot more. It's a terrible, overwhelming feeling. You should be proud of yourself for being able to find that space between your feelings and what you know reality to be. Everyone is human, we all make mistakes and the way to handle them is to take responsibility, apologize and do...Read More...