Hi All, I am painfully aware of how negatively this is affecting everyone on the forum. I'm sorry as I know it is important this is a safe place. I think that normally discussing our conflict styles is an important thing to do and Jones I appreciate what you said which I think helped to calm things down. But I also think that this thread has gotten very ugly, despite EVERYONE's obvious desire not to escalate this. So I'm going to close this thread and give everyone a chance to take a deep...Read More...

I don't know, maybe you are right. I have a habit of expecting my own T to be perfect, while at the same time wanting her to overlook all my flaws. But then I think...well, I am PAYING her, so I should be able to expect more, right? And she's supposed to be the one who's all put together, not me, or else why would I be seeking her help? I have a hard time letting my T be human.Read More...

I've gone back and forth a lot on this one. But even as furious as I am with my T at the moment, I think I've arrived at a point where I believe that, Yes, she does love me.Read More...

Hi Forlorn, Sorry to hear that it's things going badly which is keeping you away, but I really do totally understand. It's ok to make sure you have the capapcity to be here helping others; acutally it's a good thing. I want to urge you, along with TN and Yaku, to talk about what's going on if you think it would help. Thank you for checking in, it really helps to hear from someone from time to time so we don't worry too much. (((Forlorn))) AGRead More...

Woow, I am so glad for you BI, and for me...Your post showed me that it is possible...That eventualy we will be able to de-attache from our T....this is such a reassuring thing...Thank you so much for the post and good luck BI HugsRead More...

Thank you DF and Yaku. I had a response almost fully typed out to you guys, but I'm not sure I can post right now..I think I may be slightly dissociated? I just don't feel okay posting when I'm not fully here. I'll be back at some point to respond to you both. I'm sorry I haven't yet, but thank you for posting and being so helpful and supportive.Read More...

Oh, ok, now I have a better understanding. I am sorry you are feeling like you are wrong. I can imagine that doesn't feel very validating when he disagrees with you. It sounds to me though that he is trying to get you to see you through his eyes, which I'm thinking is probably a better version than what you see. My T does the same thing. I know she means well, but I end up feeling like she has no idea how much of a failure and total screw-up I am.Read More...

Hi L2F... it's interesting how we all see things differently which I guess complicates things for the T. I so WISH I could see some little bit of emotion from my T. I never see anything but his very normal look. He never seems to react to anything I tell him when I'm being emotional or struggling. He just sits and listens and, although I may be wrong, this makes me feel like what I'm telling him is just no big deal and that I'm making too much out of nothing. It makes me feel less connected...Read More...

Happy to help as often as possible - and the payment system works from Australia!Read More...

Thanks SG. I have actually LAUGHED today reading posts on the forum - thanks everyone for letting me find those muscles again. I think young T was too busy trying to define exactly what zoning out I was doing to made a deal of it - and I must admit I was throwing a lot of things at her during those last few weeks as I was unravelling. This T has had more experience with trauma, ptsd and personality disorders and so is probably more in tune with it. This T is also 12 years more experienced -...Read More...

I second your "yay for me" (you) for bringing up said pain-in-the-butt topic. Thanks, SomeDays!! And another "yay for you" for putting up those boundaries with your mum so you could have your caesarians in (relative) peace. Good grief. Even enlisting the help of the medical team...that is very impressive. The thing with Father's Day...I agree, very weird, that your mum would think she needs to arrange "alternative activities" for your husband!!! My mother has also taken an unusual interest...Read More...

Hemlock thanks - I have read that book. I don't think it will help this situation but I will ask if she has read it. I think I must keep going back to her because I am now just some sort of masochist.Read More...

ps- I just reread what I wrote, and wanted to edit- I didn't mean to imply that you only matter because you matter to your T...of course not, you matter regardless. But, it's nice when we can access the feelings about mattering through that connection with a T, it really helps wake that up, is all I meant- ((((((Mlc))))) Hope you are doing well today- Love, BBRead More...

(((Jones))) Thank you so much for what you said, I am incredibly honored that you would see me that way as you have so much wisdom of your own. It means so much to me to think that my experience was of help to you; it was very generous of you to say so. My hope is that you continue to experience freedom in your therapy that leads to healing. much love, AgletRead More...

Phew!!! Glad to know all is okay apart from power and trees down!!! It could have been so much worse!! Take care all. MorgsRead More...

Hello from the UK Just wanted to say to all in the path of Irene stay safe, I hope that you all ge through with as little problems as possible x many to all affected in whatever wayRead More...

Ohh I see lol... silly me! Yes the ones we made were with breadcrumbs Draggers - thank you *blush* ps. yes its difficult to keep him entertained but for some reason he has been really helpful and kind today. He might be in loveRead More...

bb, yes, i agree. until we get that self esteem filled to a certain level, the frustration can't be helpful. and what is frustrating, is that, at least in my case, and possibly yours as well, they see the house of cards and the track record of success and assume the self esteem is intact, and just go to step two. i dunno, this positive acceptance stuff is hard to come by. compliments just don't come forth too often. i like what ag said. that powerless motive IS so true, and something i have...Read More...

Hey, Rio...I hope your emergency surgery goes well, and helps you. I hope you are relaxed and peaceful about it...and I hope to see you back posting soon. Peace, BBRead More...

Hello eldestchild I cant tell you what to do other than say "follow your heart [your gut]" You are not a bad daughter/son or mother/father, if you decide to not let your children see their granddad. I had to stay away from my parents too for me and my family's well being. It sounds like you still dont trust him and most of all, you are still hurting form what he did to you. Families who deal with addictions have a thing with denial dont they. The most horrid actions can be forgotten about...Read More...

(((TN))) (((DF))) (((hemlock))) Thanks for the reminder, you guys. TN - I am less worried about T retiring and more worried about him ceasing to practice in my area. Both of the other areas he does his private practice work out of are much closer to both his home and his anger management program. When he is out here, he is usually booked pretty solid both days (and has to be to make the commute expense feasible). I'm sure it would make more economic sense for him to expand his practices...Read More...

Hi SD Can't really say anything exceptRead More...

Thanks BB. We're actually just going to switch insurance companies and so at least I'll get my 30 visits again now and at the beginning of the year again so it shouldn't be an issue for at least 8 months ... and maybe by then I'll have a job and be able to pay for therapy!!!! My H deals with a lot of insurance companies and these "independent" consultants. He said they are always looking to terminate benefits and it's very maddening for him because a lot of his clients can't get the...Read More...

He rio-I think the way you handled everything was really brave and forthright without being demeaning. You probably did her a lot of good. I hope you will be able to find a really good T when you need one, who will keep themselves out of the room...good for you for knowing that it wasn't working, and moving on, instead of trying to make something work that clearly wasn't going to for you. BBRead More...