Hi Elly and Dizzy Alice... welcome to the boards. I'm pressed for time now but I think it may be helpful if you do a search on this board for "attachment" as it has been discussed a lot. We all struggle with this so you are not alone and will find good support here. I also want to mention that what you both describe... wanting to cling and wanting to flee (run) from your T's sounds to me like you have a disorganzied attachment. If you google this you can see if the description fits. Elly ---...Read More...

Dragonfly...veggie muffins? Hey, those could be good, depending on the veggie! Carrot muffins with cream cheese frosting would be yummy! Broccoli muffins...not so much. SGRead More...

JMB and MH, Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I think my frustration is less about wasting the session now that I think about it and more that I couldn't just stay numb and detached the whole time. To have those emotions and memory bits intruding during the end of my session when I intellectually knew I could not allow them to surface and there was no time to share them is what really bothers me. The analogy I came up with is extremely inappropriate, so much so that I can't...Read More...

GG... sorry for all the abbreviations. CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy which is usually short-term therapy that focuses on changing behavior in clients. It does not usually delve into the underlying deeper reasons for the behavior. If you want a more accurate description you could google it. It's a type of therapy used a lot today. Then there is psychodynamic therpay or psycho analytical therapy which is more concerned with our childhoods, our past and how that has made us who we are...Read More...

((Hemlock)) Nice to meet another phone-phobe. Well, just when I was beginning to think that I may not even get a call back, she called..finally! I only feel marginally better today, so it was good she called. Like I thought, since her phone was off, she had no idea she missed a call and had a message from me until later this morning. She apologized more times than I can count. I felt bad for it but ended up telling her that it seemed fitting because I felt like I deserved punishment and part...Read More...

Thanks Kashley! I'm doing sorta kinda ok, just haven't been able to post. I will try to post an update soon. Love you guys, BBRead More...

((((((INCOGNITO)))))) That's happened to me a couple of times in therapy, where I've run into a wall and felt as though there was this thing that I either needed to tell T or stop going because there was nothing else to talk about. As hard as it was to tell him, I forced myself to talk about whatever it was and it was well worth it. It seems to me that once you share everything with T about your life, once he knows absolutely everything about you, you can start to construct a life story that...Read More...

9pm. So, will probably have to wait. I know he won't tell me not to process it, but I also know from experience that he'll need to wrap up by 10:30 at the latest and he is usually running late, so that means an hour or maybe 1:15 at the most. This is not something I feel certain I can process (even parts of) and ground from in that amount of time. Ugh, I don't know how I am going to make it through the next 22 hours. I feel like I am spinning right now...just terrified for some reason. I...Read More...

Yaku - HP was by far one of the best movies yet - I think it stuck to the book the closest of all the movies (probably because it had the least amount of pages to cover!) That's just my opinion though, and I hope you enjoy it! BG and AG, as always, though I might not be posting much these days, I always appreciate your insights when you share your experiences!Read More...

Ninn, why did you choose this nickname? Have you heard about the little girl Ninn from the Moomins? When I chose my nick I was thinking about Ninn, Think she´s called Ninny in the english version.Read More...

Hi Ninn, you are right, I believe it is more "anger turned inwards": than "repressed anger". I never seem to know what to do with it. My T has told me she thinks I have lots & lots of anger, and she has me reading a few books on the subject of forgiveness as well. She has also told me that I need to think more about gratitude, as a way of dealing with my anger. I do feel better the last two days. I know the walk helped and actually the cleaning was very good for me as well. I have not...Read More...

Glad to hear your T is going to step it up and go where you need and want her to go. I hope it goes well for you. MTFRead More...

I get the feeling you are ready to deal with it since you are thinking about it. Maybe I'm wrong, but hear me out. My T says, "If you're thinking about it, and not wanting to talk about it, it is a really good indication that we should talk about it." When she tells me that, I put it out there, and it helps, to get it off my mind and feel proud of myself for facing something I thought I couldn't. Let us know what you decide to do; I'll be thinking about you.Read More...

I so can not ask for what I need. At all. And it infuriates me! I mean, I know what to do, I just can't do it!! It hasn't gotten better since my T gave me permission to need her and call and so on, it seems instead like it's gotten worse. I'm sure it's part of the process, but it is a tough thing for me to handle. I've been trying to stay off of the interwebs so I stay a little more focused on myself. While that is a little helpful, it is really isolating. I hope that I push myself to the...Read More...

Not a childrens book,but I was watching Tarzan with my daughter this morning and cried over this part http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...Gofw&feature=related Miss my T, have survived 10 days, just 24 days to goRead More...

The Halloween Peeps are in the shapes of pumpkins, cats, and ghosts, I think. Christmas Peeps are in the shape of Christmas trees and snowmen, I believe. Valentine's Day they are in the shape of Hearts and also in the shape of spelling out "I love U", etc.Read More...

You guys gave me such much helpful information. It was all so great. STRM, I am on 300 mg but don't know what manufacturer. It's definitely a generic. That's so interesting that who the drug is manufactured by can make a difference. I started out on 75 mg, 3x a day for a grand total of 225 mg. I then go the extended release tablet of 300 mg. The NP was worried that the 300 mg would be too much but it seemed as though the only other option would be to prescribe something to take twice a day...Read More...

(((BG))) Thanks, your joke to your T gave me a big laugh too and a big smile, which is sorely needed today. I am hoping some day in the (probably distant) future, I won't be so ambivalent about every single relationship I embark on, especially in this thing we call therapy that really feels like open heart surgery (minus anesthesia) sometimes.Read More...

FFOW, I can actually imagine T as the protector with no issue. She has even physically acted this out with me when I felt scared like there was an abuser in the room. It's when I try to have one of my internal parts be a protector or someone besides T that it is more of an issue. I'm glad that you had a different experience and your responses changed. That is great!Read More...

Dragonfly, that must have been really hard to feel that way about yourself. I don't quite get all this. We are exposed to something we never had to realize that we still can't have it? That's supposed to heal....? I can't accept that it is supposed to work like this. I'm just angry and annoyed. There is part of me that keeps saying that' I'm better looking than her and it is me who he wants and cares about. Nothing can take him away from me... except myself. There is another part of me that...Read More...

Please stay safe Jane! Go ahead & cry, but not too much - you are in a flood warning already! GGRead More...

I have to agree totally with you that this article does give hope, it echoes totally what my t told me near the start of therapy, 'we are in for a marathon here, it will take time as long as it takes, and I will not be going anywhere while we are taking this journey together'. So true the other stuff it mentions about attunement, and maybe it should be required reading for all those 'pros' out there who told me there was no cure for my cptsdRead More...

GG- what would you say if one of us was posting what you posted? Would this be the type of relationship that you would want me to have with my T? Or would you think I deserve someone compassionate, a good listener but firm and challenging just the same? I feel the physical illness from this. It hurts to read. I know she helped you and that is awesome. Take what you got, it's good. But what she is doing now is not good. If she's got compassion fatigue, it's up to her to suggest a break. No...Read More...

Hi DeepFried, I don't think your T is judging you for the decisions you make, right or wrong. We all have times when we give in to the negative feelings and behaviors and that's part of being human. It's a process. My rule is full disclosure with my T, even if it is the same old story. He/she is there for you. If you are hiding something from him/her, may be it would help to look at that, to tell the T that you thought you should withhold this and why. What happened when you were a child is...Read More...