I've had thoughts like this as well. And yet I keep going back.Read More...

OMG I was just thinking about smores today. Now I want some! I think I'll make a s'mores date with myself for tomorrow night. Have you tried microwaving them. I like to think of it as urban s'moring when you live in an apartment and can't build a bonfire.Read More...

((AG)) ((kashley)) ((yaku)) ((justmaybe)) Thanks so much for the responses. I can't type much right now so will have to respond in more detail later. But I have been reading and thinking and I'm really hopeful and your responses helped me look at this differently. I see my eq t again tomorrow - and I'm a little scared and yet looking forward to it too... will typoe more later...Read More...

FOT, I hope you did decide to keep your appointment after all, just wondering how everything is going? LLRead More...

I'm sorry MH I didn't get to post to you before now, but I'd like to say now how pleased I am for you and that though there was a compromise you feel a whole lot better now. That was a great text response from your T, isn't it amazing how when someone says the right thing, it can change everthing. Had she answered differently, you may very well not have gone in at all and this could all have escalated even further into crap feelings. So good for your T and good for you for going in. LLRead More...

TN, I think that was very sweet of T to include that little note in his email to you. I do think that was his way of reaching out to say he was thinking of you, that he cares, and he knows you are having a difficult time. Very thoughtful and caring of him. Warm fuzzies just thinking about it. I also want to say that I can relate to the whole birthday misery thing. Two years ago on my birthday I came home to find my husband of only 7 months having sex with our yoga instructor on the sofa.Read More...

Ooh DF, caramel centers would be awesome! We could be milk duds! ((((Forlorn)))) Thank you, that meant so much to me to read. I'm so glad you found the movie. Thank you for taking the time to post this.Read More...

Thanks Yaku, Amazon, and smiley...it helps me feel less alone that you all experience this as well...but i feel sad that you do, too I don't know what else to write right now...feeling my social anxiety kicking in but i wanted to respond and let you know i read what you wrote...mlcRead More...

My T explained this to me once, but I'm going on memory here. When the other defenses fail which are fight, flight or freeze then submission becomes the last defense in order to stay alive. If you fight when it is too dangerous you could end up hurt more. If you can't flee then you might freeze, but if freezing fails you are out of defenses to it no longer makes sense to use any 3 of those because you could end up in worse shape.Read More...

I'm glad to read this. Good luck and come back here to let us know how it went.Read More...

perhaps its actually nothing to do with right or left side, perhaps thats just a smokescreen and a way of fantasizing one has control over their anxiousness?Read More...

Yes, these are exactly the type of things we have been focusing on. Thanks for sharing where you and your T are at and I'm so glad things are starting to open up a bit for you with your wonderful T. Really good to see you call him your T and not your NewT too, though I know that is sometimes the case. I just really see you growing closer lately, despite what a hard journey it sometimes seems to be and it is really heartwarming to witness. I am so happy for you each time you are able to take...Read More...

MTF, I think what Monte said was dead on and very wise. I know that your T has said over and over again that she understands attachment, but I'm not sure that she's experienced with working with attachment injury as a core issue. I am sorry for the confusion and pain you're in. AGRead More...

Kashley, strm, yaku, lg, bb oh thank you so much! I did send my t and email saying please ignore first email! Somewhow at my appointment neither of us brought it up. It crossed my mind but then a million other things did. Either way, I think it was good I sent it because in a different way I ended up working on some of the same stuff I brought up in the email. I don't know if she read it or not, but the "please ignore previous email" email that I sent seemed to help my heart at least just...Read More...

Hi smiley, This is why I am on a break from therapy. I felt like I was wasting his time and my money. When I am feeling strong- it's all good, but there are times when it is tough and I mostly have to rely on my self. I wanted to see if I could do it. I do txt T once- about every 2 weeks. We briefly exchange ideas, and for now, that works much of the time- but not all. Sorry about the personal conflicts in t's schedule that are causing you angst.Read More...

Hm this topic has me divided. On the one hand I recognize that using the concept of ‘inner child’ can be helpful in learning to separate out and understand the different and often conflicting things that go in our heads, on the other hand I’ve never been able to get my head around this idea of there being a separate ‘part’ that is not me. For instance I would never be able to talk about a part of me that is ‘her’ or ‘she’, it’s all me/I (even though there are times I would very much like it...Read More...

Hello there Ninn, I hope your sessions with T and P went ok. If you feel up to it, let us know how you’re doing? LLRead More...

Aw AG, poor you, no wonder you needed a bit of support tooo. I hate the dentist (well, not the dentist himself as mine is very gentle and very gorgeous, both of which help ) .....but I hate going and the vulnerability of it all. Well done you for getting through, I am glad your T is there to help when you need him. Big hug, starfishyRead More...

Hi Nobeldaughter, I really just want to agree with everything BG said (she's a smart dinkum-thinkum! ) BPD is easy to confuse with complex PTSD as there is a lot of symptom overlap. And either way, at best, diagnoses are only a way to label something, but does not change the reality of what you need to do to heal. It's not what or who you are. Try not to spend too much time getting hung up on it. (My T hates diagnoses and only uses them for insurance purposes. His take is that each person is...Read More...

Thanks. He said he'd rather deal with the administrative stuff via text, because he didn't want any of my session time wasted on it. So, we talked about it a bit, but only the difficult feelings it brought up around needing help and how I was trapped with both yes and no being scary and painful. It sounds like he will call, although I'm not sure, and we'll see what happens. He tried to act positive about me having another option (for our financial situation or eventually if I feel I have...Read More...

I know it's very hard to receive news like this. However, cancer is no longer a death sentence. Here's the key: Your sister and you need to live well... rather than living like death is imminent. I suggest you google "cancer support" where you live and see if any organizations come up that focus on "survivorship" and living well with cancer. The best thing you two can do is reach out for support.Read More...

I love these too. They lighten everything and make me smile.Read More...

Hi Lady Grey, I want to thank you for your response. I understand what you were saying. I did not think you were accusing me at all. I appreciate your understanding. Right now I am in my rational mind about this. I think my emotional mind is spent. I had already decided to send a much shorter letter but not to T1- the one who mishandled it. I sent it to T5 who runs the program where T1 works. In addition, T5 and I had a personal relationship as advocates for families who have kids with...Read More...

Thank you LG- Maybe what I mean is that...in his therapisty way, he could *like* to forget about me...i.e., not be at all emotionally involved, have no emotional reaction of his own to me and my failed treatment- which is what as a therapist he is supposed to do, but it just hurts. I'm really, really hurt that he would promise to respond and then not do so. I'm hurt that he would do that to himslef as a therapist,, because, even if it is just forgetfulness, it is unprofessional. If it is...Read More...

Thanks everyone for the moral support! BG & STRM, you are right that if she didn't want to risk running into me then its her own fault for telling me about it and encouraging me to go. And I know she's BTDT with her own kids, although I can't help thinking she was probably a much more competent parent than I am. But hey, I've never pretended to be a perfect parent to her before either. LG, you always make me laugh. Yeah, I should have marched right into session today and demanded to know...Read More...