I wish I could talk to my T about my thoughts, but the way she has reacted in the past keeps me from even telling her anything about my 'bad' thoughts now. I'm not sure what I want her to say or how I want her to respond when I bring up my dark thoughts, but I have told her in the past that I just want to be able to talk to someone about them. In the past she will immediately say, "How do you think your kids would feel?" or "You will scar your kids forever" that sort of thing....she has...Read More...

Thanks for sharing, UV. Very good article.Read More...

Frosty, Research has pretty consistently demonstrated that the efficacy of therapy is much more highly correlated with the strength of the theraputic alliance than it is with the modality practiced by the therapist, so no matter what your new P is practicing, the fact that you are feeling comfortable with her is a very good sign. I also think that a therapist's willingness to incorporate more than one approach is a really good sign since humans are complex enough that there really isn't a...Read More...

R2G...I think you should be pleased that you accomplished a few things today like laundry and showering and even the 15 minutes of exercise. Start small and work you way up to bigger things. It's a good feeling isn't it to see work that you have set out to do and then you did it!! Good for you. I know the grass always seems greener ... but I wish I had a few weeks of vacation right now. I'm so tired. But I can understand how that big, yawning time period can feel overwhelming. Does your T...Read More...

Hi Arrested Dev, I really feel for you. I understand what it is to repeat old patterns and the frustration. This is but a moment in time and it doesn't take away any of your progress. You need to recognize your progress even in the face of a slip. This situation can only really hurt you if you use it to beat yourself up. You're not motivated but emotional stress like this causes exhaustion. Get the sleep you need. Process this through thoroughly with your therapist. Look at your personal...Read More...

I started seeing current T for social anxiety. I had just moved to a new area and started a new job, which tends to increase my anxiety so I was trying to get a jump start on finding someone in case my anxiety got bad again. Initially I started seeing her every two weeks but it is sometimes hard to schedule appointments due to my schedule as I work two 12 hour day shifts and two 12 night shifts. So it sometimes ends up being around 3 weeks between appointments. I think I have had around 5 or...Read More...

I can hear in your words how much you love her and care about her and worry about her! I've wanted for so long for my sister and I to be closer. For her to "talk" to me about anything and everything. We don't have that kind of relationship, and never really have, and it makes me very sad. Mostly now she just doesn't have time to talk and she lives 900 miles away. Just let your sister know you are there if she ever does want to talk.Read More...

(((Jane))) (((Monte))) Thanks for the welcomes. The stuff I'm working on now in my sessions is pretty sensitive (self-conscious about it) and probably won't make it onto the OF, but I'm always willing to share one-on-one via PM or maybe in one of the restricted forums in the future.Read More...

((forlorn)) i know the feeling of worrying about what other people think and it having such a big impact on your life and i'm sorry you have this to worry about on top of everything else. hope you're doing ok. puppetRead More...

((LG)) i'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through! I know you care about T1 and it is obvious she truly cares about you, but it must be excruciating watching her fall apart when she is supposed to help you! i hope T2 comes back soon and you can get some helpful sessions with her. hugs and i hope you can look after yourself until then. puppetRead More...

Thanks very much to all of you!!! To be able to put thoughts "out there" and not worry about being judged or have a pen start scribbling madly on my file. I've also done the hormone testing Ninn hoping it would turn out that some type of pill would finally work on my symptoms and be able to drop the mentally ill label. Again, I appreciate everyones input and have taken away something from each of your posts.Read More...

Hi Willow I wish I could say something to make it go away for you but I can't except to say that we are here for you. It's very brave of you to recognise that transference is occuring (there are some other posts on here about transference and people who are more experienced with that in t might be able to offer some stories here to you) its a tough call to say what you should do but then you are also recognising that it is a tough call (lots of insight in your post) and you name your...Read More...

For clarification - I find it easier to accept there is no manual on how to exactly fix myself (auto mechanic idea). What frustrates me more at this point is the lack of clarity, structure, manual, on therapy itself. That there is no way of knowing how therapy is proceeding, if it is progressing, if there is the alliance thingy going on, etc. The books seem to always blame the client for regressing, transferring and resisting, for therapy not working, except in cases of blatant professional...Read More...

KAshley - I have experienced the same thing. One of my t's even encourages me to call if I need reassurance that I am not completely insane because of it. I know it is not fun, but I don't think you are completely bonkersRead More...

Hi Masimo, This was a good way to get started. Actually a while back we had a couple of threads on what people wanted on the forums and possible changes. I've been derailed from doing anything about due to an extremely busy work schedule which is very nearly complete. After I have a chance to catch my breath I was going to re- read everyone's input and try to implement some changes, but I would definitely like a chance to think through the design and what will work. Adding a domestic abuse...Read More...

L2F, Yes indeed, the economy is very difficult. I lost my job a year ago and am looking for work at the moment. Its very discouraging. I hope things pick up for you soon.Read More...

Hi Othermother, I haven't had a chance to do any reading yet (work is a trifle demanding at present) but am looking forward to it (especially with TN and Beeb's recommending it.) Thanks for sharing it here and welcome to the forums! AGRead More...

Thanks you guys! I really appreciate the support and encouragement. I've been intherapy before, but it has never been like this, with a T that is so good for me! It is Soooooo much harder than it ever was before, but she makes me feel so safe it is actually a little scary. At this moment I actually wish I could call her (and I can call and leave a VM if I really wanted) because I am at a workshop till Friday and am having major anxiety over staying in this hotel room for the next two nights.Read More...

Yeah, that was my assumption too, but it's good to make that clear, for sure.Read More...

((((Jane)))) hope you have heard back from your T by now. Let us know how you are doing, k?Read More...

So glad you feel like you have a good dynamic with this new T. I hope you'll keep us updated!!!Read More...

BG, I know exactly what you mean about not getting promises being more comforting to you. My T2 doesn't give promises and in a way, its sort of reassuring. I guess perhaps because if and when she does term me, I won't look back at broken promises and feel betrayed. Whereas if T1 were to term me after all of her promises...I'd be so crushed and it would really affect my ability to believe anything anyone promises to me in the future.Read More...

(((LG))) Been offline because I am on college tours with my oldest and so just saw your post. So glad you are working on your portfolio. That sounds great. I love when I get into that space when I can really focus on something. It feels so good, doesn't it? For me lately, it's too few and far between. Why does life have to be so complicated? It makes me really angry. Draggers, it's good to see you. Hope you are doing okay. Hugs, LieseRead More...

wow, I just went back through some of my old posts (Thanks for reminding me of them LadyGrey) And I totally forgot about this messy situation with ex-ArtT. Damn, I should've seen this termination coming. How did I not see it coming?! therapist, hmpfh!Read More...