This statement reminds me of how I feel with regard to my oldT. I am having the worst time getting through the grief and letting go. I'm also stuck in my therapy because I cannot seem to talk to my T about the things that are unrelated to oldT. It like there is a wall between me and all the stuff I need to access and my oldT is standing there with his arms blocking my way. I just cannot get to the other side of this grief to where the other issues wait to be revealed and discussed with my T.Read More...

Enjoy the process BG!! Sounds like a great pick-me up for the house and for you! Oh, and when you're done, if you want to work on another house in need of some updates of color... let me know! I have some blank palates waiting!Read More...

(((Jane))) I'm glad the doctor was nicer this time around Casts stink - I had one last year for 7 weeks and it was my dominant hand... made things challenging for a while! But, it also helped me appreciate the simple things that I so often took for granted (like applying deodorant!) We'll be sending warm fuzzies while you are healing!!Read More...

It seem s like it might be really important to know what you need from therapy as in, do you need a listening ear, do you need coaching, do you need acceptance, are you looking for interpretations on why you react to things the way you do...etc..then it may be easier to see, if your T is meeting your needs. you could ask your T why he goes into all these stories with you, and what his purpose for doing that is? Ultimately, I beleive that most of us enter therapy to try to get our emotional...Read More...

((((LG)))) I think it has to do with who you feel safer with. You know that T2 will not judge you or evaluate you, maybe, but with T1 you are not so sure because her boudaries are not as tight? It could be. It is hard to cry on the phone with a T. I used to cover the receiver with my hand so that he couldn't hear me. Made me feel very alone, and cry more, adding another layer to it. Not so good. On Skype it was ok, cause I was pretty sure he couldn't see me very well anyway, and often...Read More...

Didn't mean to upset you or anything, MH- I know things can seem ok in the context of how they are happening. I think it would have been totally fine for your T to disclose if the client was actually dead, but since she was still alive, should have kept the client's confidentiality as a matter of boundaries? oooh just my opinion though...based on the very, very little that I actually know. no hard feelings or anything at all, I think your T has lots to offer and does many things well, but in...Read More...

OK, well, it's pretty lame still. Basically, I was around three-years-old, I think. We went down to Southern California to visit Disneyland, Universal, etc. At Universal, I got to go in the "Knight Rider" car and talk to it. It asked me a bunch of questions, including where I lived. I said the city where I lived at the time. It asked if that city was near San Francisco. I froze, because I thought it was, but I wasn't sure, so I said, "I don't know." When I got out, my dad and my grandma (his...Read More...

Yaku, I'm so glad that you were able to ask your T what he meant. I know it can be really hard to go back and ask for that clarification. (((hugs)))Read More...

Thanks, Ninn. I am almost as scared of him calling back as I am of him not calling back. I do NOT like talking to people on the phone. I actually dislike it more than in person. Outside of my H and my sisters, T is the only one I have ever felt comfortable having a phone conversation with and it was work to be comfortable with that. I don't want to have to tell this guy about my crazy dissociation stuff. I don't want to open up to another person. Somehow, T just crawled under my radar,...Read More...

Yes, to this! Oh, and if my T said she "knew" something about me, that would piss me off. Even if it were partly true, I don't like when other people decide they are the expert on me. Sometimes, T says, "Oh, you're feeling better this week!" and although I might be feeling a little bit better, I'm mostly the same, and I get really irritated that he is deciding for me that I'm feeling better. I don't know what that's about. Maybe I feel like he's trying some Jedi mind trick on me or...Read More...

Thanks, BB. It does help. Right now, I'm feeling like T gets it and want to stay...but, I found out my H was wrong about insurance and we could be saving nearly $6500 a year if I find a new T in our network at my current level of visits... Considering we could lose our condo and my daughter is getting to preschool age, but we can't afford to send her to one...it seems like, how selfish would it be for me to insist on staying with my T, especially considering I keep getting worse, not better?Read More...

Hi Someone My T is currently away (week 1 of a 2 week break), and I was freaking out big time before hand so in the last session I read a letter I wrote about all the feelings about the break to her (addressed it to someone else, not her) but at least we got to the feelings, then out of the blue before we even started the letter she said she would like me to have something of hers to look after in her absence (she has a little stone heart) on one of her tables and handed it to me saying now...Read More...

(((LG)))Read More...

Liese, I think maybe he is telling you that he is committed to you because he senses a need for reassurance? You yourself have said that you are feelign more dependent on him....which I think could stem from a need at this point in your life for more reassurance. I think he was sweet to tell you that. I don't think it holds a deeper hidden meaning, but simply means that he isn't going anywhere. He make be going on vacation and may not always be immediately available, but he IS committed to you.Read More...

Yes and no. Our family appeared mostly normal on the outside though we were outsiders even in our community. I blocked out the worst of the abuse, yes. However, I always knew that something was wrong. I knew since about 13 that I was sexually abused. I didn't call it that until later, but I knew that I had been hurt. I knew that I couldn't trust my parents and never felt loved. However, I was well taken care of in terms of basic needs and grew up pretty well off so I had all of the material...Read More...

Agree with Jane, wholeheartedly, here.Read More...

((((Yaku)))) Well, like you mentioned, the silver lining is that this just kick-started the next chapter of your therapy AND broadened your support circle, both of which are great things. I love that line - we plan, G-d laughs - and no matter how many times I watch the movie Evan Almighty, I still love the part where G-d is telling Evan's wife that when we ask for courage, we aren't given courage, but instead, given the opportunity to practice calling upon courage. When we want patience, we...Read More...

TN, your picture issue with T triggered this thought: One of my T's clients signed him up for facebook and put his picture up. He denied having a fb page, but there it is- picture and all. He never uses it though. We joked, maybe his client is running therapy on line using his fb page. Funny- because he does not even know the password to get on his own page. He is computer savy- but he just doesnt care about it. Maybe your T has a fb page-or linked in.Read More...

Gargyrle, I am so sorry for all the loss that you have had to experience I too am a bit concerned about your T's comment about being a drama queen and thinking you are a victim, though I understand that she is providing enough for you to want to stick with her. I hope that you are receiving the support that you deserve. Hugs ButterflyRead More...

I wonder if this didn't trigger you somewhat Liese considering the issues with your T being giddy about not having a clot or the vacation. Just a thought.Read More...

Welcome Beautifullybipolar! I am sorry you can relate to these feelings and I hope that you too can find support here. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone. ButterflyRead More...

Ninn if you can afford the money it's a good investment. You will be able to get some rest and calm and your kids will be happy too and then when you ARE with them you will enjoy them. Have you looked into any summer camps, even half day ones? There are churches that offer bible camps for little kids that may be very low cost or even free if the need is there. If you can't do camp then hire a teen who is good with kids and needs a summer job. I did that for half days one year for my son. It...Read More...

Wow. You nailed it and I'm sorry that you experience all of the PTSD hell and it is hell. Thanks for sharing.Read More...

UV Thanks for putting such a positive spin on all my pain. LOL!!! Where do you find your info on emotional processing? Exactly what is it called? Funny, I'm the youngest of 3 and I was the first to move out of my house. A little older than you but before my brother and sister. The only thing about his leg problem is that when I had the same thing (the swelling is caused by an injury) the technicians, etc., were being dismissive about the blood clot thing, just something they HAVE to rule...Read More...

Thanks AG for the warm welcome. I remember you best because you were always there with loads of support for everyone. SOunds like you have made great strides in your own recovery. You give me hope. Just don't forget us completely.Read More...