Hi Mayo thanks for commenting. Yeah I wondered about hot flashes but apparently I am not even pemenapausal yet. Plus they are happening when I talk about the abuse directly Hi Beautifully I Like your forum name! Yeah it's a strange thing. It's not that I feel so hot as I just get this rush that then makes me sweat. It's strange. Kind of validating too but weird.Read More...

Thanks everyone, for thinking of me! I made it. I ended up sitting in the corner of my couch with my laptop and journaled my way through it. Thankfully, it was only about 30 minutes or so of terror, then the warnings expired and the sky cleared back to a dry, dull, grey. There was some major damage in counties around mine, but we were pretty untouched, this time. I learned that I most definitely need to discuss this with my T, who actually lives in the same city as my parents (about 20...Read More...

Sometimes, he speaks in unnecessarily complicated spiritual terms, to the point where I told him that my pastor's "for dummies" version of abiding worked much better for me. However, in person, he has said before that he liked or approved of or something like that "all" of my different ways of being (I don't remember if he said faces or facets or parts or what). It was a month ago. So, I'm guessing highly favored means, "I have a really positive opinion of you," but maybe he's being careful...Read More...

Thank you Jane We had a really nice weekend away and I am presently typing on my new IPad that my wonderful husband got me for our anniversary.It rocks (although I'm trying to get used to typing on the keyboard!) We had some great family time and it was very relaxing. Tomorrow we start digging out from under. I was considering just burning the place to the ground... Jo!!!! So good to have you back! I have often wondered how you were doing. Life's been a little insane lately so I'm trying to...Read More...

Hey BB No worries about any threads or responding on my behalf. I mean I have gotten the sentiment from you that you are thinking of me and care how I am doing. So individual responses are nice but certainly not necessary and I do the same thing too. I can't find threads etc and forget where a comment is that I meant to go back to. I did that with strummergirl (Is that her name?) She said something really nice and now i can't find it to respond. Then I don't really like doing a lot of...Read More...

BB - I didn't take any offense at all...I was just explaining what I think my H's reasoning is for his preference. (((hugs back))) I am writing a list of questions to call the one Clinical Psychologist in my area who has a doctorate AND lists specialties in areas I think are essential. I'm sure there are others who are experienced with dissociation, but just didn't pick it as one of their (maximum 8) criteria. That's why I wish these people would just have basic websites with a tiny bit more...Read More...

((((MONTE))))) I am sorry if somehow I missed that part about his impending retirement. I know it seems like 5 years is a long time away but it would definitely prey in the back of my mind also, like why bother getting attached. It definitely sounds like you need to talk to him about this because maybe there IS something he can say to ease your mind. LieseRead More...

Welcome, Ninn! ...and I hope you are feeling better R2g!Read More...

Thank you so much LG. Okay, I'm so sorry. Let's just forget I said anything. Least of all because of what anyone else said (you're all amazing to me. Really), but just my own stuff. I don't know what's going on with me lately. Hmm..how ironic is it that I'm triggering myself even more by posting that I'm triggered? Thanks for the support nonetheless.Read More...

He has never specifically said I have to ask for a reply, but I assume that when I NEED one, I should ask. When I do ask for a reply, he usually does, but the time frame might be ten minutes or nearly two days (at which point, other stuff has come up). His phone call policy is 24 hours, but I will NEVER call him. Just can't. And sometimes, I don't say, "I need a response," but I figure it is implied, because I am asking a specific question of him...and he just ignores it until I have to ask...Read More...

Thanks for letting me know that LadyGrey. I cried when I read her book. It was so helpful to me. There's another youtube video interviewing her but it's more about her life and work. But this one is 55 Minutes long. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USTKmffoQms joRead More...

Oh LG, your question really made me laugh. What's your answer? Do you good "makeup" sessions?Read More...

Thanks, reading now. Relating a lot to it...this is the kind of stuff I've been wanting T to explain to me, because the intellectual/observer/executive "me" can deal better with accepting my crazy, unpredictable states if I get what the heck is going on. Preverbal assumptions: Well, I feel a little less stupid that I can't get my feeling parts to accept T's repeated statements about me and him and our connection. Both this article and the attachment article made me think that my attachment...Read More...

Yeah I had a T for about a year maybe a little less and I googled her and someone wrote something really horrible about her so I told her about it and then she turned on me and asked if I did it and said she was consulting an attorney. That along with other things caused me to terminate my relationship with her. lolRead More...

I just feel such huge relief having told all that I told him yesterday. I feel lighter and less burdened and he did respond well and kindly and he did not vomit, (the usual response in real life, !!) although he looked visibly moved and a bit shaken at times, which is normal. I am so glad he is there.Read More...

YAKU and BUTTERFLY, Thank you for your replies. They were really helpful. I have read that kids who come from families wherein they talk about emotions and label emotions do better in real life later on than kids who come from families wherein they don't to those things. So that was kind of my angle when I was trying to get her to take a look at herself instead of just blaming her friend, who might, in fact, be a bulldozer. It's so hard to talk about emotions when everyone seems to feel so...Read More...

Thank you to everyone who took some time out to comment, suggest and feedback on this. It was an incredibly hard, moving, emotional session, and my t giving me her little stone heart to look after (I did not ask, she just did) was so moving for me, I guess maybe I got lucky with my t and it did help today to hold it in my hand when I was having a rough day. I deeply appreciated everyone's help on this. "What doesn't break us, makes us stronger" DebsRead More...

thanks everyone for such supportive responses and helping me process through this. I'm in a tough spot with all of this now, so I'll have to respond more later. Right now I just want to say: I hate ED and my totally screwed up eating habits. I have been working so hard to cope better. I just so don't need to keep messing up with this. jdRead More...

Hi, Pinki2 and welcome to the psych cafe. Therapy is hard because we often have to hear unpleasant truths about ourseleves, yet- if it is done with coldness or indifference than I think that would make it a lot more painful to hear than it would need to be. Of course, there is always the chance that it is hard to hear her acceptance of where you are at because of transference or projections as they say. SO try what Ag said! You could tell her that she feels cold when she tells you things and...Read More...

Hi R2G.... I think DF and Jones had awesome suggestions. So I don't have much to add except that perhaps once a week you could invite a friend to dinner or to go out to dinner. I'll bet if you look around there are other singles that would enjoy a night out once in awhile too. When I was first married I ate alone almost every night because my dh worked nights and I worked days. It was a bit lonely so I tried to reach out to do other things to keep my occupied. I joined a friend at work and...Read More...

It doesn't seem like you're whining at all. I know how you feel about T not responding. I sent him a bunch this morning and no response all day, so I probably won't get any. ((((more hugs))))Read More...

Hey Smiley! Glad to see you out and about a bit! That's the thing I love about this place most - if I need to fade into the woodwork for a while, that's ok. If I need to post 50 times a day, that's ok. I've learned that the cafe is open 24/7, and it will be here for you whenever you want to order! (((Smiley)))Read More...

Hi Sadly, Today is my first day to post anything. I agree that my need for touch stems from a lack of sensuous touch I did not receive in my infant stage. So while it seems erotic now, I think it's just an infant-like need for union. Since I can't breastfeed or connect easily through touch as an adult woman, I guess that my primitive brain equates union/sensuous touch with sex? Luckily, I don't have a sex-negative view point, so I didn't feel a lot of guilt about the fantasies. But it...Read More...

Hey Kashley...I understand how it feels to think you should be invisible...and also to think that you "shouldn't" hav any insight, especially on things psychological with a psychologist. I have the smae issue. It comes out everywhere. I "shouldn't have any insight on things spiritual with my SD...either, even though- I DO. I am somehow silenced. There is a gag order on me, and I have no idea where it came from...it dounds like you deal with the same issue. I'm wondering how your session...Read More...

Sorry to be so late but Happy Birthday! Glad it was wonderful.Read More...