(((STRM))) Thanks for the hugs. I am just having a rough time with having Boo all on my own and H getting back at 9:30 at night. I'm behind on HOA work, house work, finances, etc. I took Boo out on her bike for an hour and engaged a lot with her during a leisurely dinner, so at least feeling a little less like a loser-mom. I feel like I need someone to come take care of ME right now. I have my client's kid and my nephew tomorrow, so I work pretty much 9:00 am to 9:00 pm with different...Read More...

STRM, I think you are correct. I kept saying, "I feel guitly for not loving her" and T2 kept challenging me on that (in a gentle way) by asking me if perhaps it was more like sadness rather than guilt. So perhaps she was picking up on the sadness of the situation.Read More...

Jane, First may I say how amazing you really are doing? I know because the emotions are so overwhelming and confusing that you keep assuming that you're not doing well, but your growth and progress are really clear. You're working really hard and I believe, doing what you need to in order to heal. I LOVED that you just showed up. In some ways the whole point of therapy is learning to be present, that we do NOT have to avoid places and things that can trigger us, that we can learn to handle...Read More...

Hi Rebuilding, Welcome to the forums! I'm really glad that reading here has helped you decide how to handle your feelings and given you the courage to speak about them to your T. I remember having all the same fears about speaking up to my T (who at the time my husband and I were seeing for marital counseling, he was actually my husband's T originally.) He didn't do any of what I was worried about. Actually he was very understanding and accepting of my feelings and very glad that I had...Read More...

Hi Jbee, I just wanted to say welcome to the forum. I agree with what the others have said, that being honest, even about why you lied in the first place is the best way to handle this. I hope that you are met with an understanding and forgiving response. I am so glad that you are finding an acceptance here which is helpful to you, that's what we're all about. As Jane said, we'd love to know how it goes if you're wanting to speak about it. I'm looking forward to getting to know you. AGRead More...

Liese, Jane, thank you a lot. I know sleep deprivation does play into it...but I don't feel as sleep deprived as usual (sad), so I'm not sure how much. I do know there is a friend who would help with my daughter, but she is pregnant, and watches her own seven-year-old, one-year-old and another friend's five-year-old and one-year-old, so I really save that for when I absolutely need it (like going to therapy when H is out of town). I told my pastor today what's going on with me and I was...Read More...

CNC - Glad he got back to you eventually. I know it would be nice to know exactly what happened, but I don't think you absolutely need to "deal with it," if it feels OK to let go of it. If it comes up again, for sure, let him know. But, sometimes we can process stuff on our own and those feelings can be worked out internally without needing T as a part of the process. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. However, like I said, if it surfaces again...then probably something to discuss...Read More...

Sadly I'm so glad you had the opportunity for that phone session with sweetP. I hope it helps to make the wait easier on you. I love the visual of sneaking under his arm and resting on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. I may steal that from you and use it when I am missing my T. Like now... I hated leaving him today. I'm glad that sweetP accepted this so well and understands. He really is sweet! TNRead More...

JD, Thanks for posting this! my couns just recommended to me that I see my dr about getting onto an antidepressant and even though not all the things on the list apply, i can def see many that do so thanks for posting it!Read More...

BG, I think the part about the child wanting you to play with her and go down the slide is very significant. To me, that speaks of your T getting through to your inner child. I also think it is wonderful that you felt very comfortable in the space with T. You described it as "cozy" which is such a peaceful, safe feeling. That's a great place to be with T! I love dreams. They speak volumes about our lives and the inner workings of our mind.Read More...

Session tonight. Panicking it will go like last week, I will be silent, unwilling to tell him that I am falling apart, take hours to ground by myself, because I won't let him help me...it's too hard to receive his care right now, for some reason... He sent back he was "praying" when I let him know I was anxious and having bad urges and just receiving the fact that he's praying for me is panicking me. I wish he would have just ignored me. I just needed to reach out. I should have told him not...Read More...

TN, Excellent work. I'm so happy to hear you being direct and open with your T and what you need. Thank you for sharing your journey.Read More...

Jane, I have definitely experienced having the "New PM" tab show up because I have posted a new PM or responded to a PM, but my actually clicking on and opening my recent posts usually clears that up. I'm not sure why it's persisting even after you open the posts. Sorry I can't be of more help. As far as posting a picture that you only have the website for, go to the page and right click on the desired graphic and select "Copy Image Location" from the pop-up menu which appears. Then in your...Read More...

Liese, Well, if you can switch insurance and get another 30 visits then I would do that. I can't say for sure about the rider. I guess it depends on how much it costs vs paying out of pocket. There is never a guarantee with insurance, but perhaps with them getting the initial diagnosis of anxiety then they would be willing to pay.Read More...

MTF, I recently started discussing my attachment issues with both of my Ts and I was so nervous and embarrassed at first, but I have to say that once I started to get the words out, it felt so much better to talk about it instead of keeping it inside. My only advice to you is to push yourself to work through the fear and embarrassment and take a leap and talk about it. I think you will be surprised at how good it feels to get it out and the relationship will grow stronger.Read More...

(((SB)))) Wow, what a heavy load you are dealing with. I'm so sorry. It sounds like ultimately it will be for the best, but it the short term it may be a bumpy road. Hang in there and keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel.Read More...

Hi STRM, Writing a letter is definitely a possibility. Maybe even without the conversation. I have a draft of a letter that I wrote to her mostly for myself but could potentially send to her. I'm traveling this week (big trigger for me), so I have decided to wait until after this trip to do anything about the situation, just to decrease the amount of stress. But after this trip, I think I really do need to contact her. I am pretty sure I will just call ahead and leave the I want to get...Read More...

Jane, Not out of place at all for you to do something and I'm amazed that amidst being triggered that you were able to be a voice for that child. Hopefully it leads to positive change for the parent and the child. In answer to the original question, no it's not normal and not okay to curse at a child. I think all parents have moments of frustration where they raise their voice and might not handle themselves the best, but cursing and yelling at a child is abusive and not okay.Read More...

Thanks everyone for the responses. It helps a lot to know I'm not alone in this. I used to have really bad "learned insomina" where I had problems falling alseep. It was awful... I have boughts of insomina now and then, but they usually end within a week or so. I've never really struggled with waking up so early so much. It's really wearing me out. My only symptoms of depression are being a bit more tearful that normal and waking up at 2am every night. I'm tired as can be, and yet I wake up...Read More...

(((Mayo))) So happy for you. I'm glad your T really made sure you heard him, because it was important for you to receive his really caring how he had hurt you.Read More...

aw, thanks everybody!!!! (((((group hug))))) my birthday was lovely, I spent it in a tulip garden in the Netherlands taking pictures all day. It was gorgeous! Thanks again!Read More...

(((((DF)))))) I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds as though you are going through a lot right now. Big hugs and lots of positive vibes sent your way.Read More...

Sorry, yeah, posted it in another thread. Phone session went OK.Read More...

One more thing for those of you who have not been reimbursed. This is for you Holding on, In NY this law went into effect in 2007. I would check your state's websites to see when the parity law went into effect. Because you may be able to get reimbursed for past years. Most insurance companies are not going to reimburse you unless you ask for it.Read More...