Thanks, LG. I know it wasn't on purpose. My brain just does funny things. T is a chronic late-runner. He had car trouble and was late for H's 4 pm appointment, hence late all day, and then ran over with the people before me. We didn't start until 8:25 (instead of 8:00). He apologized profusely, but I told him I understand (and totally accept it), because he also runs over with me almost universally. For instance, I didn't get out of there last night until 10:00 pm. So, am I going to complain...Read More...

UV I’m sorry you had to delete, for what it’s worth I think you have every right to feel angry at your mother. I do get the whole being stuck with anger thing though, I take the view that nearly all self directed anger actually belongs to someone else, though it’s hard to sort through it all to find the ‘right’ object and anyway it’s not as simple as that, there’s anger on anger on anger that arises in response to layers of experiences not necessarily involving the same person. And then...Read More...

Morgs, you offer so much too! Thank you for your support...I shall hold onto your hugs and caring thoughts. I hope things will work out too...I shall keep my fingers crossed that there are happier times ahead. Look after yourself FluttersRead More...

Meatloaf...yummy! You are making me hungry!Read More...

I'm glad they are trying. If they kept it up, I'd have to psychically kick their @$$es, somehow...anonymously, without knowing who or where they are.Read More...

lol! peep peep!Read More...

BB, Where you do think your self-judgement comes from? I mean usually, it is one of our parents that instilled that in us. Do you ever find yourself saying judgemental things to yourself that your mother or father said to you growing up?Read More...

I am sorry you experienced this. I know how awful it can feel to be so easily set off by a stranger and for them to not have empathy for you. I've had moments like this where later I felt so embarrassed for losing my cool and felt badly for taking it out on a stranger, even if it seemed that they were asking for it at the time. I hope you were able to find a moment of peace later after you left.Read More...

Welcome back Forlorn! I've missed your posts...mlcRead More...

http://www.adhd-becalmd.com/mm/orders.html I take Neu Becalmed (when I remember )recommended by my psychologist.unfortuantly I can't say it helps for sure, since I have not remember to take it consistently. arg. It's a combo of 5Htp which is known to help depressionsignificatntly and other stuff. Hope this helps- BBRead More...

Glad to know you're back safely SadlyRead More...

Thanks, DF. I could really receive and relate to everything you have to say. Especially, the above. I actually spend WAY more time talking about me, my journey, my growth, my processing and understanding of myself than I do about my T. So, in a way, I am obsessed with therapy as much as I am emotionally fixated on T at times. I think if H had described T as a tool in the way you say (like a resource), I could have accepted it. The way he meant was, "use and discard," and with my...Read More...

Draggers The Road Less Travelled was very good. I go back and read parts periodically. Makes me think. I can't remember names of books because I read from a kindle now. So I don't see the cover of a book ever. Only when I start it. When I turn the kindle back on to continue reading, it just pops on where I left off. I am reading a page turner by Kristin Hannah right now but have no idea what the name of it is. I probably should pay more attention to the titles so I can recommend to someone...Read More...

UV - That's interesting. My H shames me for apologizing about stuff I shouldn't. He gets angry at me. It makes me apologize more. I outright told T my problem with feeling sorry/responsible for too many things and how H reacts. We talked about how it was probably about preempting attacks in the past, but T also saw it as kind of a way of "connecting" with people and letting them know I'm thinking about and feeling for them. Rather than tell me not to do it, he'll just ask, "Are you...Read More...

just what I was looking for - thanksRead More...

((((TN))))) Sorry. I can't imagine how that must feel. Hugs (and affection in general) are such a sensitive subject for me, because they were nearly nonexistent with my parents during my childhood. The idea of being rejected for one feels like dying. I am so happy my H is such an affectionate father. Boo will grow up having lots of hugs, kisses and snugs from my mom and dad.Read More...

Thanks BG... I've read what you wrote, and I will write a proper reply tomorrow...right now things are really black, so I can't really write about me. Thanks for your advice, support and the virtual hug. It helps, really. MayRead More...

Oops I put my thanks to you AG in the wrong forum, I was so excited about the new sub forums! So going to repeat it here, thank you so much AG for all your hard work and effort and for making this place even better. LLRead More...

Yes, dr, I have experienced much of what you write about ( and still do). The best I can say to you is hold tight, do not make any major decisions regarding your feelings and give it time. Be gentle with your wife and family, and don't expect them to understand- most likely they won't because your experience is not theirs. As you work through your issues, your feelings may change. My T calls it "the ebb and flow" of the relationship. My T allow me to work out relationships with him. He says...Read More...

(((((LG))))) Haha, I agree that we are a lot alike. However, I am trying to learn to give up on the idea of coping on my own. Because I suck at it. Very badly!!!Read More...

I don't see why T2 couldn't just say, "Oh, well this is just an issue of semantics. If that is the way you mean 'gay,' than I was just misunderstanding, because I have a different definition for it." Then, she could have explored how you felt about it and let go of her need to control the definition. Blah. I think that would have been more useful, even to her knowledge of you, than fight over something that is obviously a matter of definition (and one that is VERY important to you). I doubt...Read More...

Well, whoever starts the thread can claim, "Starting this thread," as a positive step, right?Read More...

What about some time consciously thinking about your hands and looking at them? I lost alot of weight and am amazed at how my hands look different and feel different too. Have you every just spent 10 mins just examining your hands, noticing where the veins and how you fingers move or don't move. Just enjoying the sheer awe of these wonderfully created things at the ends of our arms? Looking at the lines on your hands? wondering if they really mean anything? CatnipRead More...