Thanks, LG. I'll take your word on it and I'm sure my T is out there thanking you for saving him even more ridiculous texts!Read More...

TN - thanks for your response. Yes she always does this. She's very busy and then has her family time after nine. I think at least a response would be good but what do I know? Anyway, don't want to change T - just want to finish this.Read More...

That scenario sounds very comforting, Yaku. I hope you are able to get this from your T some day.Read More...

No, but that's a good place for me to start. I could ask her about that. Mostly she has just talked about how difficult it is for me to form attachments to people because of my past (my father was my attachment figure and he died a few weeks after my 16 bday and my mom was not really there for me growing up). So we haven't really talked about theories regarding attachment. Mostly just have been talking about how scary it is for me.Read More...

Yaku - no need to apologize. Thanks for being here.Read More...

Thanks STRM, I know it's totally normal to be feeling like this. I looked up more about the area and it's not that bad i guess... there is a nice bakery where I could grab a tea before our session just around the corner.Read More...

Dang DF I come to read your threads at the wrong time and end up only seeing deleted posts, but like others have sort of gathered what this thread was about. It sounds like your session was pretty positive though despite all the feelings of shame you are being attacked by. That you do art which expresses how you feel strikes me as something you might be able to use more in your therapy. I know you struggled big time here even thinking about offering your T something emotionally meaningful to...Read More...

Hi, Mrs. P. It's ok to post only when you need to or are able to- I think most of us do that, and that's totally normal and not selfish or anything. I'm sorry you seem to still be struggling with this stuff. Are you still seeing your old T? BBRead More...

bb, Thank you for sharing this. Liese, Thank you for inspiring bb to share this. So much to aspire to.... seablueRead More...

Thanks for the hugs Yaku, sending some to you for your session tonight as well! (((((Yaku))))) I admit it, I'm quite attached to my T. It doesn't make this work any easier, though. 7:45 on a Monday night and I'm already heading to bed. It's exhausting living inside my head these days.Read More...

seablue - I'm sure T knows how much you are hurting and isn't judging you. I can understand how horrible it feels to "waste time" being disconnected or distant. I would hazard a guess that it's a protective measure. Try to be gentle with yourself, if you can. I think your hurt, your anger and your protective feelings are all very normal and relatable from my perspective. I wish I could do more than empathize, but I'm here for you. ((((((hugs))))))Read More...

Welcome here sugarshild...thank you for sharing your email to your T with us. Your feelings of longing for a father resonate very strongly with me. I'm sorry you are bearing so much pain. I hope that your days get better and better. Nice to meet you, BBRead More...

UV, The good news is: you can feel. The bad news is: it sucks, doesn't it? ((((HUGS)))) LieseRead More...

(((((((((BB)))))))))) I understand the blanking all too well. It happens to me too and I happen to KNOW I trust my T more than anyone except my husband. I am not exaggerating here. After eight months, I communicate with him deep, vulnerable stuff more often and more easily than ANY other person except the guy who has been sharing my bed for almost eight years and I've been with for over 12. And, sometimes I even have an easier time talking to T than H. That said, I still often have trouble...Read More...

Good to know you're around Moomin - I hope things are a little better for you! HugsRead More...

My current Dx is Anxiety and moderate depression (know this cause of the insurance codes.) Thought I know right now we're working through a lot of PTSD crap, too, but that's not been coded for insurance. I don't really think it needs to be, either, really. I think that the Dx is not nearly as important as the work itself, and am kinda glad that my T and my P are using the general codes for insurance. Keeps things simpler, I suppose?Read More...

Well, I took the step of letting him know in a journal entry that I WANT to discuss these attachment feelings and my inner Kiddo's desire to have him be closer. Now, I most likely can't escape it. The way I am looking at it now is that there is no way out but through. Either I can stay in this injured place and try to repress and ignore it to the best of my ability, disconnecting from so many other things (and relationships) in the process...or I can push through these death-like feelings...Read More...

I'm so proud of your courage and happy that T was able to meet you and be present when you needed her. That is big! ((((((((Jane)))))))))Read More...

You guys make a great point. I would love for his default position to be "with me," but it really is something that should be reserved for the necessity of working through overwhelming stuff. Just because I feel child-like feelings toward him, does not mean that what I really need or should receive from him is a parental connection. What I really wish for, is when I get to that point where I cannot even speak, because I am in so much pain and he feels too far away for my words to cross the...Read More...

Thanks. I've got a pretty high level of honesty with T. No meds yet. Still vaccilating on that one. If I went on meds, I'd like it to be a process my T is involved in, but if I go through the psychiatrists in his office, HMO won't cover it, because everything I do with him is out of pocket. So, I would have to see GP and have her refer me elsewhere, to someone who probably wouldn't coordinate with T...which would be a confusing situation.Read More...

((((R2G)))) It is so hard went the walls melt. It's good to know I'm not alone in this journey. So glad for my T too! Thanks, jdRead More...

Great songs, UV- thanks for posting them! BBRead More...

I'm sorry you're having such a hard week, R2G, but glad you were able to have the extra sessions with T and you seem to be so much more comfortable with needing T, which is such a good resource to have. ((((((((((R2G))))))))))Read More...

(((Empty))) that was so brave to leave after investing 5 long years in the relationship!! I'm afraid I don't know the procedures for reporting abusing Ts - your current T may be able to advise!! and there are people here who have been through this and will advise. It's a hard decision to make as the ripple effect will be wide, but what feels most important to me is that that she could be hurting other vulnerable clients and reporting her may mean she gets help herself and doesn't practice...Read More...

1. "so and so" called in sick today. ie: more work for me again 2. manicure, pedicure 3. tom hanks 4. beautiful beach vacation on the gulf of mexico 5. do my training walk (hopefully 8-9 miles), bead shopping, jewelry making, reading, going to bed earlyRead More...