I think I understand what you're getting at Mac!! Totally reasonable!!!Read More...

Incognito, Started this a couple of days ago and never finished. Was trying to locate those articles for you but couldn't yet. I gave them to my T. I should have kept a copy. I'll keep trying. They really helped me feel kinder towards my needy side. Almost like there is a side of me that bullies that needy side, almost like I don't need a bully anymore. I do it to myself. I think the bully side is actually to protect me but winds up hurting me because I'm not getting certain emotional needs...Read More...

Yeah, sorry to hear that. That would scare me quite a bit as well! But, please do PM any of us if you need support!!!Read More...

Dear AG I'm watching, reading and sometimes managing to post too....but I care about you and your journey. Thanks for the updates that are so intuitive and open, you are an insiration to us here I am sorry too, to read about your losses and pain, but am glad you are in such safe hands with your T. Take care, starfishRead More...

My T also opens with a prayer. It is the first thing he does, except, "Hi, Yaku, how are you?" and inviting me to come into his office. So, I wouldn't even have the opportunity to ask, because he always asks if we can pray first. I like that he does it, but sometimes some of the things he says in prayers trigger me. It's weird. I guess, because he knows me so well, he really prays for things that target where I am directly and it's like having a bruise poked or something.Read More...

I was thinking the same thing AG when I read this thread. I think they need to be separate.Read More...

That is great! Thanks for sharing.Read More...

I joined Easter Choir and our first practice was today, so that took my mind off things a bit. But H was very angry and pissy that I am taking on more outside activities while not accomplishing my "job" at home (meaning I'm not keeping as up-to-date with chores and not doing as well with our daughter as either of us would like. It's like I can't win for trying. Blah!Read More...

Church sermon had several things in it today that made me think I am making the wrong decision here. But I can't tell if that's really the case or just a matter of the teaching pastor (NOT the guy who I have been talking stuff over with, but a younger pastor who teaches on occasion) not connecting with me. This particular guy, though a friend since I was about 20, tends to put me off with the way he teaches and the things he said, so maybe I'll just pray about it and stick with my gut...Read More...

Welcome back! I'm proud of your H too. That's so awesome. Have a lot of Disneyland memories, some good and some bad. Glad you guys made some good ones!Read More...

Jane, I'm really glad what I said helped. When I read this, it made me think of a quote from a book that I'm reading right now, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamont: And evidently, what kind of horse. Cadence may have been short-lived, but she lived when she had the chance, and has passed that lesson on to you. You honor her by taking your own risks and actually living your life. I know it is scant comfort right now, but the impact she has had on your life gives...Read More...

my sweet P said often says that he was thinking about some comment I said, or something I wrote, or that he was talking to his supervisor about it, and of course I think "gosh, he was thinking about me OUTSIDE of a session!" It is nice to be thought about. I like it when they reveal something like that.Read More...

Many welcome backs to all of you, and hi to anyone who I am just now meeting!Read More...

I'm up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Yuck, SoCal! Just kidding. There isn't any in his city, but there is one in mine, which is only 15-30 minutes away depending on traffic. So, perhaps next time he comes for a visit, I can ask him if he would be interested in checking it out.Read More...

Butterfly, I am so glad you will try to talk to her about it. As you said, you haven't really been seeing her very long and maybe you have to give it more time for the feelings to develop. I know you had a hard time with your dependency feelings for your last T. But maybe it is something you really need. Although I think you said this on another thread, that you just want more of a balance this time. Maybe the two of you can work together on developing that balance. If she has maternal...Read More...

SB, I am so glad that your T expressed horror at how terribly you were treated by the rude T who forgot about you. I hope her reaction served to reinforce just how unprofessional that was. I also hope that she told you that it wasn't anything about you, but was simply about the other Ts poor lack of scheduling and unprofessionalism. Picturing your T sitting there with a big smile on her face when you joked about her telling her partner that she is a feminist and not willing to pick up and...Read More...

UV, Thanks so much for replying to this thread, I had missed it! And thank you for the article. I love sailing and thought it made the perfect analogy for the tension in therapy. Jill It was just wonderful to hear that you are doing well, I hope your work with Dr PA continues to help you. I am glad you trusted yourself to know what you needed. And thanks for updating us! AGRead More...

LG gut reaction vs head reaction, believe me I'm an expert at stuffing both of them up! talk with T2 - she appears much more solid, even if she didn't mention the call! are they having a problem with each other? from what I know of life, 3-way relationships just don't seem to work! Hmmmm!Read More...

AG, thanks for coming to my rescue! Cuz if AG can do it, then so can I! I think medical issues can understandably be a big trigger. I mean, first you aren't feeling well physically, then there is anxiety about tests, diagnoses, and procedures. On top of that, sometimes health care providers are arrogant and insensitive. Then there is the financial stress associated with bills, and stress over taking time off work. And anything that has to do with pregnancy, childbirth, or recovery is totally...Read More...

Oh (((frosty))) gosh you're honest and often so hard on yourself!! Firstly, it's just great that she's told you she likes you and you 'feel' it!! You don’t need to worry about becoming attached – she’ll help you with that when it happens also. IMO What you’re forgetting here is that when you do get rid of your phobias and are who you want to be, you will grown into adulthood emotionally also – these problems are all tied up together and as Liese said it’s not going to happen in a day!! LG...Read More...

Hi Jane, thanks for starting this thread, and sharing your story about Sophie with us. It is really moving. It's not 'just a dog'. People who would say that are just really insensitive. I'm so sorry for you, TN. It is an awful experience, and I can feel your pain. (((TN))) I've never had a dog, but I couldn't live without animals. I've had cats, horses, rabbits, guinea pigs, gerbils, mice, fish... Last month my rabbit (called Useless) died. He was 10 years old. I am actually really glad you...Read More...

Thanks for all the support everyone. I was able to sleep. I woke up A LOT, but no insomnia when I woke, so at least I think I managed to rack up some hours. In these cases, I really can't call T. Maybe if I had been all alone, with no other resources, and about to do something stupid, then I could do it...but I probably still would not. But, in this case, H was home playing video games, my sister (who I wouldn't talk to about this stuff anyway) was here. I had options...but just do not feel...Read More...

(((((((((Kashley))))))))) Big hugs back your way. No apologies needed, but thanks for checking in. I hope your internet is up and running soon!Read More...

(((blackbird))) Please be gentle with yourself....you deserve kindness. I know it is understood here that people offer what they can when they can. I also understand the guilt that comes up when we feel depleted and unable to support others. But blackbird...you have offered so much to this forum and to me individually and I know everyone here only wants to lessen your pain. There are reasons that everyone loves you here. It is your turn. Thinking of you....please post if and when you can... ...Read More...

I just laughed so hard I had everyone here staring at me.Read More...