True North, I hope the best for you, too, in your discovery of your Inner Child. I agree that it is the therapist that makes all the difference. If the T doesn't fully accept this Inner Child work, it's hard to trust. It's already so hard to trust. But my T loves kids and comes across so harmless, and at Easter she talked about the cute bunnies, chicks, and ducklings. I couldn't help breaking out in tears from her talking to my inner child that way. Nobody can make me break down by threats...Read More...

This is a good thing to ask your T tomorrow and discuss with him. Good luck TNRead More...

Hi Yaku, I think you are very deserving of this little new life growing within you Congratulations!Read More...

Thanks for the encouragement and support guys! I really appreciate your words! I'll still be around from time to time but really wanted to express how grateful I am to you all for sharing your stories here....good luck to you all in your therapy journeysRead More...

Thanks Liese and Room2Grow-- Very helpful. It is certainly a different type of modality. I keep thinking about what happened in session and it's hard for me to comprehend it. Maybe it will get easier with time. Thanks for your responses! LJBRead More...

Thanks for all the support you guys. I'm having a major, "It can't be true" reaction right now and trying to sift through it, remember what it feels like to be in a semi-flashback about it when I can't believe it could be false. Also, just having a rough time physically (not feeling well) right now, so sorry I am not writing more, but I do appreciate everyone encouraging me. I don't see myself as brave or making a ton of progress, but I know it's hard to see when you're in it.Read More...

TN No worries about hijacking! I've been so busy lately to post. I just was catching up today. It gives me reassurance I'm not so silly about ending of my sessions. He did good there for awhile when I brought it up saying you need your Friday hug? Then the next 2 Fridays no mention of hugs or encouragement which I do better with. He finally gave me one yesterday again but I totally flipped out in my car having to call him. I usually have to call him after Fridays appt I don't understand why?Read More...

I really wasn't expecting such lovely and detailed replies; and I'm sorry if I inadvertently gave the impression that finding this out has caused me any great distress It was more a genuine surprise to me. Although I've always known my sister was never wanted simply because she was the 'wrong' gender, I honestly had no idea that I wasn't planned for! ((((Draggerslovelyone)))) Thank you. Yes, trying to unpick my families dynamics would test the patience of a saint It's one more piece of the...Read More...

Great reponse AG! The sentence about power and exploitaion...that is exactly my problem. We just talked about this yesterday. They are so measured and in control, it makes me crazy!Read More...

Thanks again for all the support. I am definitely not giving up on my P, and when I go back to my next session, I will try to find the right way to question why he spent so much of the last session expressing his views and trying to give advice. I sometimes overreact to him, and in the past, we've worked through similar problems, so hopefully that will be the case this time.Read More...

AG, thanks. It does feel really good when another piece of the puzzled fits. Then last night I have the worst dream about T. Everything I've thought he was....he was not. One of those dreams where it was SO real. Now I must convince myself "it was only a bad dream". Thanks for the other recommended posts of yours. I've already read some of them. Very good.Read More...

Affinity I'm glad I could help in some way. I think we do miss them more when we feel out of sorts, tired or stressed. Or even when we cannot hold onto that "sense" of them being with us. Last Thursday I had a really good session with T and I felt him with me most of the weekend. I didn't miss him because he was with me. But Monday was not so good and I have no sense of him. I'm very disconnected from him right now. I do know what you mean about that feeling that they would really like to...Read More...

AG, good you spoke of just a dream. Anything sexual is SO uncomfortable. My T said it's uncomfortable for him too. But once it's laid out on the table and respected, it feels relieving and can create those breakthroughs. So glad you found Chuck Wild's music! I LOVE it and it helps me so much.Read More...

See... you're brilliant!Read More...

Thanks for the link to the book forum AG...I'll start looking there too. I've already tried the advanced search as you suggested, but as of yet, cannot locate the book, but I am going to keep trying. I also tried Amazon RT, and haven't found it yet, but then again, when I searched it came up with 100+ pages, so I need to keep hunting--or refine my search! On the upside, I am learning how to navigate the boards better and in the process, I keep stumbling upon more and more valuable...Read More...

Thanks again to all who replied. I have been very busy and am just sitting down now to soak in some of the other replies. Thanks RT for explaining what you needed and didn't get. I identified with many of them. I know I have to cut myself some slack in order to move on. I am just not very sure how to do that. Keep talking with T I guess. Erica, I know you understand this feeling. This subject keeps popping up in my life also. It comes up in therapy, here on the forum, basically all over. I'm...Read More...

Thanks TN. I've been well. Yes, I am still seeing T every two weeks. My therapy appears to have reached an equilibrium. I do not know if it is because I am stalling or because this T has simply taken me as far as she can. Perhaps both. At any rate, I feel she's been morphing into more of a life coach/quasi-great aunt figure. It's good to have someone like that in my life, but I would like to be working more intensely in therapy. However, I will be moving to a new city soon because of a...Read More...

Hey, Depending on where you want to go from that, it can be a very useful tool: I am very disconnected from my body, and sooo self-conscious, so any exercise involving feeling anything in my body is either feeling 'blank' or excruciatingly shameful... But my T goes in VERY small steps, because I told her some of my fear and she could guess it from my reactions, so... it is really interesting because it gives me a chance to explore that (the "oh, I am actually not a pure mind") without...Read More...

Re: I Thought I Had More TimeRead More...

(((LJB))) I'm continually touched by your story. I couldn't imagine losing my most precious T like that. How wonderful that you've continued on in spite of the loss. You inspire me.Read More...

LJB...You are very welcome! Good luck to you.Read More...

Oh, what a brave and lovely conversation. I constantly have needed mother substitutes - even though I'm too old to 'need' such a thing. It is painful. I have an older friend who I think of as my mother substitute (but only in a gentle sort of a way - she has her own family). But the other day, she said that she always feels motherly towards me and hoped I didnt mind!!! I confessed my mother-sub feelings towards her and we had a hug. Not seen her since like (it was about 3 weeks ago), but...Read More...

Thank you (longer answer when i get to my computer) it is just emotionally a bit scary because it is my "don't ever think that you can rely on someone to care, they will go away", even if... I know it was just a GP and that it was expected. Thank you.Read More...

Thanks, SB. I'm not sure what I wrote is cohesive because I feel like there is so much swirling around in my head I'm not sure where to start. But writing about some of it helped. Thanks for your support. TNRead More...

Thanks Puppet I'm trying to hang on in there. Don't have an appointment at all this week as it is bank holiday in UK this friday - and - I am in france!!! lol. I do have to cope with the boundaries set - and try to make the best of what is available to me right now - which is rather limited I agree. I can't imagine that any therapist is happy to work with me - I feel I am a pain, a nuisance and not good enough. (cringes in the corner, knowing this is child stuff). Thanks SP - yes, it feels...Read More...