SO pleased you got there and it went so well LG. If you feel like that again you now know you'll be fine!! I totally understand getting into the 'alone' funk LG and R2Grow - it's like our social skills go hiding!!Read More...

AG - So tough for me to be angry at anyone but myself still. I got really angry at my dad the other day for leaving me entirely out of a photo album he entitled "my life," despite a dozen pictures of my stepmom. Then, after about five minutes, I felt angry at myself for being petty and selfish for wanting to be in there. That is about the sustainability of my anger toward others right now. I suppose this too will change, and then, LOOK OUT EVERYONE!Read More...

JD, That is great!! So glad you were able to get pictures and they are grounding. Awesome!Read More...

Glad you are (at least sounding like) you are going! I'm sure it will be so good to see your T2. I just have to make it 22 hours until I can have phone session with my T.Read More...

Oh, yeah, he texted me once to say that my texting him was very OK. And then, when I texted him about my bad thoughts (too triggering to share here), he texted me back a few pages of his usual, reassuring me of the redemptive power of God's love for both me and him. I had already reassured him that I wasn't going to do anything stupid, so really, just hearing from him at all was much more than I expected.Read More...

Maybe get a separation. If you don't miss her, perhaps you two are better off apart. If you do miss her, this will help you develop feelings of love and longing for her again. Do you two make time for each other, like a weekly date night? (no kids, no phone calls, no distractions. Just you two).Read More...

I have before, but not in a while. Yuck. I seriously need to find a way to start getting more than four hours of sleep per night. I need someone to take my toddler for several hours and to not have to watch my nephew and just lay in bed until I can get sleep without worrying that someone in the house will need me, or wake me up disturbingly in my sleep, or scream their head off. I'm F---ing TIRED! Ugh.Read More...

seablue, no worries. I'm not feeling over-exposed or anything. It's perfectly OK to delete. (((hugs)))Read More...

Smiley, I'm sure your T would understand if you called her about nameless pain and let her know you need help and you're not even sure if/how she could. I'm sure she'll appreciate you reaching out for what you need, even if you don't know exactly what it is. Maybe she'll be able to help you clarify and identify your feelings. I know T is sometimes able to do that for me (although, it usually takes a few hours before I realize he was right). (((((((((HUGS))))))))))Read More...

FF - The first thing you need to do is BREATHE! I know it's corny but it does help a little. I'm not in such a great place right now but I swear, I could have written what you wrote. So much so that my heart was racing with your thoughts! I hope you can try and relax a little and then maybe call your T. SmileyRead More...

I loved the fact that you had bought him that lamp. I know how much he means to you after the HELL you were going through. I did not realise I met my sweetP before you met your T - so just wanted to explain that without messing up your thread. I met sweetP by a self referral in June via my GP - did not know what I psychologist did really but knew my ex C was beginning to show signs of being out of her depth. Then i forgot about the referral request and just as the hell with the ex C was in...Read More...

Hi jp and welcome... You have quite a dilemma on your hands. It sounds like to me that your girlfriend is suffering from anxiety and she could possibily be suffering from some depression. It could also be that she is having problems regulating her emotions and this is causing problems with her interpersonal relationships. I'm not sure if you should be the one to help her or even if you CAN help her. I would recommend that she seek therapy so she can talk to an unbiased person who maybe she...Read More...

My oldest sister is staying in my living room right now. When my other sisters were in this position, they would stay here. He would not be at risk here, since we know H's condition and now have "rules" in place, but I think it would make my sisters who suffered very concerned and hurt. My other older sister lives in a dangerous city, twice as far as I live. My younger sisters (19, 20) both live at home with him, but my mom won't support them in getting him to take care of business. How can...Read More...

R2G, I've been in that numb place before and it really sucks! It's like feeling like a corked bottle that is all shaken up, but you can't uncork it and let the pressure out. The good news is that eventually you will be able to let some of it out. Hopefully slowly and gradually so it won't be too overwhelming. I don't think it's sad that you are looking forward to having more support. It sounds like you could really use it. Hang in there!Read More...

Seablue, I'm glad that your T is back safely. I'm sorry you haven't had a chance to tell her what happened with the other T. HOpefully, you will be able to do that on Friday. Is there not any way that the child's mother can watch her and take some time off? Personally, I would just tell her you have a doctor's appointment and you need her to make other arrangements. It really should be on her to find back-up care, not you. That is just my humble opinion though. I hope that your session on...Read More...

Hi Irish Rose, Gosh, how those words ring true. If you read some of the posts here you will find another person who gave a detailed account of how to tell how many drinks the person had had based on the sound of their voice and choice of words. My Mom is EXACTLY the same. She very rarely doesn't drink, but even from the first glass of Chardonnay she begins to change. Three or more and she's "tipsy". Now I understand the word better because they really do wave about like they are going to tip...Read More...

LOL, thanks for the laugh. I really needed it. Since my trauma stuff has come up, I'm wishing I could connect with women more easily. If I'm honest with myself, I don't even want to be near any man that I see as even remotely capable of being attracted to me or think about being intimate with H, other than out of loving him. I guess it can't always be this way...Read More...

LG I think it would be really difficult to be so close to her knowing she offered to see you and have PIZZA together and then NOT go! I don't know if I'd be able to say no to that. I like the idea of a double session or a 2 day session as it may take a little bit to get used to seeing her right there in front of you. But it's a great opportunity to connect. Good luck with this. TNRead More...

FF, I think if she offered that you can take her offer at face value and accept it if that works best for you. Hopefully she meant it and won't be resentful later. I doubt that she would be. I understand why it is hard to accept though. Good luck and keep us posted!Read More...

Liese I'm so pleased you've sorted some of the problem and thank you for your words of encouragement and to any of you who reached out also. I'm totally gobsmacked by what some of you have posted - in a good way - true courage, candour and care!! Much of it was like looking in a mirror Need to read and think a bit before even attempting to post. This is a great community and I really hope I can become part of it again. MorgsRead More...

Hi Quilter, Sorry I am late to the discussion but do you mind if I toss something into the mix? You're reaction makes total sense to me if viewed through a lens of disorganized attachment. We are biologically driven to seek out our attachment figures to meet our needs, the drive becomes especially strong when we are in distress. My T calls what you're talking about "the bind" our desire to move closer for connection and comfort and our absolute terror at getting it. A long time ago we...Read More...

Glad to hear that your session went well. My brain is failing me for words right now, but thanks so much for sharing your experience. (((((((((Kashley)))))))))))Read More...

MTF, Good to see you. Thank you for your support. I think I have decided that I will at least meet the T at some point, but not before processing everything I am feeling with my T. My pattern has been to either run away or supress my own feelings and forgive out of embarrassment for my feelings and also for fear of hurting the other person with my feelings. I am beginning to see that this will be a valuable experience even though it is very unpleasant. The way I handle it will be good...Read More...

MTF It was good to hear about your session and that your T seems like she is really trying to help you and connect with you. I can see that she is responding to your tentative opening up and reaching out towards her. And I don't mean tentative in a bad way at all... we are all like that in taking the small steps in trusting our T in order to allow more vulnerability. You just went through a serious rupture and it would be healthy to be cautiously optimistic. While I still think she talks...Read More...

What a tricky day for you! I'm happy your laptop is fixed again. And I have had days like that, yaku... they are no fun at all! Take good care.Read More...