No worries, Monte. The whole point of being in therapy is to connect me to this stuff, right? I doubt I would have even remembered that incident without your trigger...and now I have more therapy material, right? I think my mother was by far the more "dangerous" parent, and unpredictable, so I may have had to dissociate much more heavily in my experiences with her. This is probably especially true, because after my dad remarried when I was 10, I only saw/heard from him on weekends for a...Read More...

Thisismycatface, Please don't worry about having taken the messages down. Your session is so similar to what i need to have the nerve to do soon, that when it was gone i wondered if i had imagined it was there. It is inspiration Thank you for sharing, CNCRead More...

Very interested in hearing about this book. I just put it on hold at my library, but if anyone has read it, please share! (PM is fine, too, if you don't want to spoil it!)Read More...

Yeah, thanks Liese. I posted about it in my phone session thread.Read More...

I think my P often shows how hesitant he is when he is talking, to 'allow' me to not be so embarrassed about being hesitant myself. He also is very good at admitting when he makes a mistake - which has the knock on effect of making me feel very safe: if he is open about making mistakes then I am not having to second guess what is going on when he is making a mistake and might cover it up, for example. I know they are trained to listen to their own feelings and body sensations which could be...Read More...

LG - Thanks, this was a really helpful way of looking at it. 1. If they don't make things much worse, I would give them a few months. If things get very bad, I don't know if I could be patient at all. 2. I would probably be willing to try three times or maybe six months worth of trying. 3. With my H's condition and struggles, it doesn't matter if I have drive. Even now, struggling with my weird intimacy flashback type stuff and not wanting to, we still do. I know that is probably not healthy...Read More...

Yes, I think you should tell her exactly what you have written here, because those sort of thoughts about how she is feeling about you will become a block to you trusting her with (perhaps very important) stuff if you let yourself start hiding it. It is more difficult to stop hiding things if you let it go on a while, so since you are just aware of it now, it will probably be a lot easier to bring it up. Otherwise, your feelings about it will fade and you will think, "Oh, no big deal, it was...Read More...

Hi, UV. I've read with interest, and hope it works itself out. I wish I was able to look at myself in therapy with such a curious, non-judgemental eye. I like the way you are able to do that, and just wanted to say it's really, really instructive to me. I find my emotions run the show, feelings of deprivation take over and I make little progress, but rather get into a slump. I wish I could "get serious" about my therapy the way you seem to be able to do, UV. I like reading your thoughts! BBRead More...

Happy Birthday Morgs. Hope you had a wonderful day. ButterflyRead More...

((((MAYO)))) Sorry to hear about your Mom. Will be praying for her and you and your family.Read More...

I had meant to reply to this message and then forgot. I usually have the problem of having way too much to write. There are times I can come back from therapy and write five pages (single spaced!) about my experience or the thoughts that emerged. When I do get blocked, though, I just leave it alone. I find that if there is something that needs to get out, it will be nagging me soon enough. If it is nagging me, but I just don't have the words to get it out, I try to objectively describe my...Read More...

I second that sentiment. ((((((((DF))))))))Read More...

(((((BB)))))Read More...

I feel that a professional T should be well aware that vague suggestions like this could easily be misinterpreted, even if it was not intended to be taken seriously. I'm sorry, but I feel that he should more careful with his clients.Read More...

Yaku, I am so happy to hear that you heard back from T.Read More...

Oh, if it's like what Monte is saying, then YES, that happens all the time. I think I misunderstood!Read More...

LG, Funny thread!! DF, can you share your T's interpretation? Only if you want. To my T: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. T: Yes, Is that it? Me: No, that's not it. I hate you a lot. I hate you even more. I hate you for making this so hard for me and not giving me what I need. I hate you for thinking that I'm coming to see you because I'm hoping this relationship will develop into a romantic relationship. I hate you because you are not appreciating how much I want to heal. Whew, I feel...Read More...

Hugs Pixie, this must be very difficult for you. My mother is a narcissist and thinks the whole world revolves around her and if you try and have a different opinion than her then look out. The knives are out. I choose not to see my mother or my sisters (my father has passed away) and life is so much more peaceful. The drama they caused on a daily basis was too much to cope with and it was bliss to get away from it. Good luck.Read More...

I am right there with you! Most times I have no idea what I feel. I sympathize with your pain - it's frustrating and scary to not understand what you feel.Read More...

thanks sadly. i really appreciate your kind wordsRead More...

Thanks for the understanding, Monte. I end up with a lot eyeballs/faces sometimes as well. But, I don't even pay attention to what I'm doodling. It's almost completely unconscious. Last session, I put my notebook on the table, so I could stay "there" with him, which he liked. I picked it up six times in 30 minutes (unconsciously) and one time started leaning over the table and drawing again. It took me a significant amount of effort to even realize I was doing it unintentionally and stop...Read More...

Along those same lines: This is a Christian Resource I believe Live Online Crisis CounselingRead More...

I want to text T so badly right now and just tell him how scared I am about our session tonight. I'm afraid that him "slowing" me down will mean we don't connect tonight...that it will be an intellectual exercise or a sermon. And I am dreading sitting across that table from him. I hate the way it divides us and I hate the way I want to break it (it's glass) when I'm feeling upset. And, mostly, I am scared to death of the crash that is going to come when he says it's time to wrap up. And he...Read More...

Yaku: Sure, no problem! DF: (((hugs))) I'm sorry you feel so tired, but I understand.Read More...