(((((((((((((AG)))))))))))))) I'm sorry you are grieving, but also so inspired by how you are working through this transition that I know I will some day have to face.Read More...

My T just terminated therapy. This board has been a big help - just to read through all of the posts. His behavior felt incredibly cruel, demeaning, and punitive. It's so hard to understand that everyone leaves. I needed him to stay and he couldn't.Read More...

Jumping on way late here, but I feel compelled to reply as this thread has been HUGE for me to read. Big time. I just uncovered a photo of my T through a mylife search, which led me to her "other" last name, which led me to her son's FB page (which does not have the photos marked private) which led me to her Husband's FB page (again, photos not private) which landed me a photo of her. Attachment? Yep. Boundary issues? Yep. Fear of her kicking me off the couch, so to speak? Yep. But I'm...Read More...

I've been kind of trying to get this info out of my T. Like, please label me! Please show me step-by-step how to get through this! But, I doubt he will, because I'm really good at pretending health and am an over-achiever and a people-pleaser and it might be dangerous to give me the tools to just do what I thought others wanted/expected of me.Read More...

MH - so glad you didn't hit the delete button! This has been a great thread for me to read, and of course, so timely for me. I've learned that no matter how alone or lost I feel, there is always someone out there who understands cause they've been there too. Unfortunately, the only way I know that is by "talking" about it, which I rarely do - until this forum - so glad I've found it and everyone here!Read More...

Yes I am reaching out for support here, and finding it- thank you so much for the encouragement. It's really hard for me to do this. I love how your T reacts, pushing you and then getting animated when you make a connection. He sounds wonderful. I think I would like it if my T did that, however he is more laid back, which is fine too. I just wish he wouldn't "let me off the hook" as easily as he does, but I don't see what I can do about that. I'm sorry you are missing your T...when do you...Read More...

LG: I think this is excellent advice. But very difficult to follow... BBRead More...

Yeah, best I have gotten is my anger connecting with me...and that hasn't been too safe. It's my need to achieve though. T told me to stop shutting out my feelings and by the third session, I had several pages about how I thought and felt about the incident. And then I kind of fell apart. I don't think he anticipated at all how my on-off switch works. And I will tear myself apart trying to achieve something I've been asked to do.Read More...

I still find it hard to be open about some things - I think we take a long time to really open up and some things will take a while no matter how good the T is. WE can only go at the pace we feel comfortable at and all that. I feel safe with my P but somethings are just so hard to say, so hard to have known, so hard to bring out of the dark in my mind and into the light of being seen and heard. I wish you luck with it all. My only way through is keep talking and being honest and feeling and...Read More...

Still waiting for P to call me with an appointment time. Constantly have this anxious feeling. I wish he would call. I'd still have that anxious feeling but for a different reason--I'd have to talk about all the stuff that happened last weekend and I'd be anxious about that. GRRRRRRRead More...

With T2, I am constantly either terminating my therapy or canceling appointments with her. With T1, I tell her things and ask her not to tell T2 or I try to make her mad at me or disappointed in me. I try to see how far I can go before she decides I am too much to deal with. She has said that she will NEVER terminate me and I am determined to prove her wrong! lolRead More...

Well, it was actually me who said it in a kind of reflection about he said last week about my feeling guilty about needing anyone except God and maybe my husband being perhaps just a guise for my defense mechanism of not allowing myself to need at all. I didn't go into detail with T yesterday, because he knows all this already, but needing wasn't very safe. At home (and I'm talking pre-teen/teen years here, because the chaos of earlier years makes it hard to demonstrate any consistent...Read More...

P.S. Good luck tomorrow.Read More...

I met my husband when I started going to church a few months before my 17th birthday. I didn't have a ride home and he tricked me into giving me one. We were friends for over a year (because I was dating someone else). When I got dumped, he asked me out about a month later, after getting "permission" from my ex to do so. So, we dated for most of my senior year and all the way through my time at Stanford. We got married six days after I graduated. It was stressful to plan a wedding at that...Read More...

Well, last night he randomly came up to me and said he was "sorry for not being there as much as [I need him]." He didn't talk with the counselor about it, it was just something that was on his heart. He gave the example of telling me he didn't want to be my second therapist and said he was feeling really bad about it. This gave me the opportunity to explain that it's not that he's not there for me in the amount that I need, but just not in the way that I need. I told him I really did...Read More...

It went really, really well. The best ever. So, of course, I am now scared $#!+less!!! Why does he keep insisting on making me feel safe with him? It seems almost certain that he will eventually get tired of the amount of effort supporting me will take.Read More...

Kat, I am so saddened by your loss of Lucky. I have actually had two lucky's in my life! Both were great. I love animals and when I had to put my last dog down, it was horrible. That loss, that grief is like nothing else. One of the things that did help was a poem. I don't know who wrote it but it is called the Rainbow bridge. Let me warn you that you will cry, but to think that things might be the way it says, filled me with joy. You can look it up - it is worth it and might help.Read More...

Welcome Inis!Read More...

To Monte - I know that's what it is for me, that's where it comes from, but it doesn't help me to remind myself. It actually hurts more. I ended up writing my T again and flat-out asking him if he was agry and if he still cared and he wrote back within a couple hours reassuring me. ~D. (P.S. I read my sent emails over and over too, trying to see if there's anything that sounds unforgivable.)Read More...

i feel your pain, amazon hate him all you can!!!!! and don't feel bad about it puppetRead More...

thanks, sweet D, love and hugs back! puppetRead More...

Wow, Liese. I can see how this would pose a real problem for you. I would definitely have an issue with that. Have you been able to discuss this with your H since this conversation?Read More...

What do you want out of therapy? What's your goal? What outcome would make you feel you got something out of the five sessions?Read More...

incognito - Thanks for sharing your experiences. It's so reassuring. Just wish I knew where it came from. I've had my share of bad experiences, but I can't ever remember feeling that assaulted. And it feels horrible to have to use that word about my H, who was just being tender and sweet. I get myself paranoid too, because I recently found out that I witnessed my sister being physically assaulted by my mom's boyfriend at 5-years-old, but don't remember it. I remember knowing the hole in the...Read More...

I think it is a good idea to talk about it with t. It is a real and important loss when a pet dies and the feelings around it deserve to be treated with respect.Read More...