Ahah, fun part, I apparently dissociate (midly) every time I mention this topic.... which makes it sooo much easier to broach....Read More...

Thank you everybody. Times are a changing for sure! I actually find comfort in knowing/seeing what a loving soul and father this man is. It gives me hope and I see real parental love does exsist in the world. It has shown me, too, that his compassion, empathy and care for me is authentic, which is something I constantly struggle with; that someone could actually care about me. He is the real deal and I am so lucky. He feels like a treasure that has graced my life. His family is so fortunate.Read More...

Thank you to each of you for your heartfelt replies. All the best, T.Read More...

Thanks Liese and Draggers Just talking about it here and hearing your thoughts has helped me figure out how I feel a little more, I think. I plan to tell NewT if I get the chance (she might have to cancel my session this week). I think I will call OldT and tell him that I am ambivalent about it and see what happens with that conversation. I think that I can give up the idea of meeting on our birthday without feeling too sad about it. In general, I have felt better since I finished with OldT,...Read More...

happy belated birthday, (((cogs))))! what a wonderful gesture from your T! i hope you're feeling better soonRead More...

i've brought up various subjects that have been discussed here with T, and he did ask what the name of it was and i did tell him. i don't think he'd ever check it out, though, and it wouldn't matter if he did since i tell him most "stuff". the place is very private to me. other than T, nobody has a clue and it will stay that way.Read More...

(((CAT))) We cross posted. That was an interesting point you made about having two therapists not being twice the love but more likely twice the work. Something to seriously consider. I am not sure exactly what I said but I do think I have said I am looking for a new therapist. At the end of that session with the one I talked about above, I happened to mention that I might like to see my current therapist once a month in addition to her and she made a face. She did not like the idea. Then...Read More...

Draggers and Emme--thank you for your replies. It's good to know I'm not the only one experiencing it. I know when I feel this way, I feel like a total b**ch. T told me, "Sometimes it's very healthy to get in touch with your inner b**ch." But, I always feel awful afterwards. Like, I hate myself for acting that way, then I feel guilty for acting that way with T, someone who is trying to help me. But...if I can get through this, maybe I'll be a better person like you guys were saying. I hope...Read More...

(((LIBBY))) I have absolutely no advice to offer but just wanted to say that I understand the feelings of insecurity and wanting reassurance. I never know whether it's a good thing or not to ask for it. It could be that she just didn't want to give you any false hope of a full time job - knowing that you are graduating and might be looking for a job. How about keeping it in mind until you get back and can find out more about what is going on. Maybe you can text her and tell her that you will...Read More...

Glad it went well for you - sounds really promisingRead More...

Cat, Draggers, Becca--I can relate to this. Everytime I hear one of these affirmations, it really is a turn off for me. I think it has to do with still not being in the space to accept it yet. He kept telling me things like this and at one time I told him to shut up, then apologized for it. He said that was okay that I said that, he just wanted to know why I wanted him to shut up. I think it boils down to not wanting to hear it because it's still not in my consciousness yet. Things like this...Read More...

Interesting post Draggers. If I could ask T one question and she would have to answer honestly. Its a tie - I have two questions. First, How sick am I relative to the other clients she has. At times I percieve that I worry her greatly and that I'm very "sick" in her eyes. At other times I think I'm just the same as other clients. Second - Am I special to her? Which is a stupid childish question but I want to imagine that she looks at her calendar the day that I'm coming and says oh good. I...Read More...

RT Thanks for sharing this... I had a moment like this with one of the clients where I volunteer... , those moments when we truly meet another person on an emotional level are just amazing and this ad sums those up perfectly..my moment was a real gift from the client.. pinglesRead More...

(((TAS))) and (((Liese))) I was worried that it was hard for you because of your difficulties with your T's boundaries and because I feel that way I was afraid you did as well. I was projecting my feelings, TAS, and wondering if you shared the feelings. I didn't think you were projecting at all.Read More...

Thank you for your answers and thoughts. It is a 'difficult' topic because I have so little data, my diaries from that time are remarkably unhelpful (the first two years, I sometimes wrote that I hated her, nothing more. The writing of a 9yo is remarkably boring). I have ... no idea. She was not a friend, my mother was very interested in Freudian thought, and was very convinced. It is possible that it was something very needed for my family to have a saviour: it had been difficult, crisis...Read More...

I feel the way a lot of people feel on this post. My first T, I was with for 5 years before he became terminally ill. My second T, I was with for approximately 20 years before he retired because of suffering a stroke. I've been with my current therapist for 4 years. Not once did any of them bring up the subject of termination because that "time is up." Like was said above, a lot of times it is dealing with the trauma and other times it is just trying to cope from day to day. Something like...Read More...

I'm not comfortable with strangers touching me at all. It isn't real comforting when a friend even touches me, but it does happen and I try to be as accepting as I can. Also, I get really nervous and upset if anyone stands to close to me, and is in my personal space or personal comfort zone, because I think I'm afraid they might touch me. My T touches my shoulder when he walks me out after a session, and I didn't like it at first, but am more comfortable now. Recently during a session, I was...Read More...

starfishy - thanks for hugs - always needed Armored Heart - thanks for thinking about me. yes, i keep going - one day at a time. Liese - what you quoted of mine - yes, yes, yes! thanks for checking in. -RTRead More...

(((SB))) Has your T stated that she will only touch you while crying? Sounds like your T would be comfortable with touch at other times, too. If this is something you're wanting, it might be good to bring it up for discussion. (Easier said than done, I know.) (((Shaman))) Thank you for your lovely response. Your T sounds amazing, as does your relationship with her. From where I'm sitting now, I don't think I'd want more in terms of touch than T just holding my hand. The thought of more than...Read More...

D.E.B.S But I'm a Cheerleader Monty Python Life of Brian Heathers Dr. Strangelove Wet, Hot American Summer DogmaRead More...

LJB .. I know straight away when I meet my T, if he is there 100% or not. So I would say I know what you mean.Read More...

Hey AV! Never heard of it. Had to google. Let us know how it goes for you. -RTRead More...

Thank you (((AG))) I also appreciate the couple of you who had to post/delete due to triggers. I know this stuff is hard.Read More...

Struggling again. My T is helping me deal with the less contact, and having me work on needing to connect with her less (my goal - not hers necessarily). I feel rejected and left getting help from her with this... That's not her intent nor communication at all. She casually cancelled a session with me last month on the 18th, I thought it was hard scheduled (she must not have because of her casualness about it). I came in the week before and she said "by the way the 18th is taken now"... I...Read More...

(((AV))) good to see you around. Interesting topic, too. (((Draggers))) I hate what happened to you. (((Smilingpenguin))) I tend to agree with you. (((Liese))) Hugs, just cuz. I think that the law will provide an opportunity to prosecute when emotional neglect comes up with something else. It will also likely be the hardest to prosecute. It is hard to even substantiate a case of "regular" neglect unless it is very severe and ends up with "physical" evidence - as in medical neglect. I worked...Read More...