thank you guys so much for all the support. i am so glad i took the time to post. The biggest difference here partaining to women and girls is how they treat them. women should wash clothes, do laundry, take care of the house and work. men go drinking with their friends at bars or ktv. married or not most men will still pay money for another woman to accompany them. i have really big trust issues as it is but when i am in a country where cheating is normal and prominant, its makes it ten...Read More...

I was and still am upset by him running 20 minutes late, I waited a whole half hour in the waiting room as I was ten minutes early and I was shoved past in the corridor by two men who were acting very strangely, maybe on drugs or something and there were lots of people running through the waiting room and it was just awful. And it was only when I actually got up to leave that the receptionist noticed me going past her bullet proof window and asked me to stay as his last patient had not come...Read More...

ok, thanks to support here, i have talked to the t that does group dbt, and i told her i would come next week and try it. she seemed nice. sounded mature. said there are three women in the group, but one may not make it. i don't know if it is better to have a larger group, but that is what it is. i have strong feelings within the same day to do this, and hours later, feel, i don't need it. but, i have the time, and it is not that expensive (hello, df!!), so, i am going to try it. i will...Read More...

little df? I'll bet she's a rebel. Whaterver or wherever she is, she's still a part of you..... (I was reminded that very same thing about my "little antecedent" some years ago. I pissed him off because I wanted to own my sucesses without his help. When the adult gets dressed down by the child, it can get a little silly, but instructive, too.) I think those little guys just want to belong, you know? - not get tossed aside like they never mattered....however inept they were, they're still...Read More...

Yep - you sure didn't do anything wrong. Such an amazing set of logical rationales (for behavior) ...meanwhile some folks just don't get it. But beyond all that - some folks need to throw around their um, "empathy" like tossing a match into a dynamite shed, you know? It's more important to them, in fact, so damned important for them to spew their, ah, "empathy" that they become completely clueless that it might not be a bad idea to take in the whole entire picture, not just the iddy bit that...Read More...

Hi Stoppers, On the other hand, there's new T, who has an excellent memory. He actually told me that that's one of the compliments he gets from clients, that he remembers what they tell him. I've noticed if I drop a name once, he might actually bring up the name several weeks later. However, we went through a period when every session felt like ground hogs day. It seemed as though he didn't remember anything about me either. He didn't follow up on things we may have talked about the previous...Read More...

Littleplanet, Hi there. Your post was concise and packed with meaning. Wondering if that T was right, if trusting back was not in the cards for you? It seems a bit grim that a T would say that. I like to believe that learning is always possible.Read More...

incognito... that was a beautiful and amazing response by your T. This man really gets it and I feel secure that you are in good hands with him. I agree with Pan that you are really doing good work and making progress. I also like that he reminds you that you can contact him in between sessions. I know that good feeling you speak of and sometimes it lasts with me for a few days, sometimes a few hours, sometimes it's gone when I reach my car. But if it goes away too fast I reach out for my T...Read More...

Hey UV, I too have had late onset of symptoms, although things for me were probably unresolved all along. I think the stress of life wears us down as we age. But good news is brains plasticity!!! Thank god!!! And that god we live in a time when more and more practioners know about the brains plasticity!! It takes me longer now to get things but I feel those neurons growing on occasion.Read More...

Oh June, what an important insight this is. I sometimes think that with my mom leaving so abruptly i never had the chance to seperate from her properly, and that something similar happens to people who are abandoned with unethical termination in therapy. So that step from beating yourself up to being able to see yourself is a very big and important one. Hooray for you! Pan PS From the missing my mom thread, funnily enough my mom was an amazing woman and hearing you say it touched me very...Read More...

((((((Itshardtosay))))) Sorry things are so rotten. You have to take care of yourself, first and foremost. ((((((HUGS)))))) LieseRead More...

Have you considered going to a sex therapist with your husband? Or, if that is a bit too much, what about designating one night a week as "date" night. No kids, no household talk. Just you and hubby. Try a new restaurant each week....and a new sex position, perhaps??Read More...

This is hugely illuminating to me too, I feel so grateful to this forum, and for the helpful and insightful comments by TN and UV. Thanks UV - very good comments.I am amazed I am seeing this, and one of the most amazing bits is that I can remember how strong the 'vortex' is when it is operating, it sort of fills my mind and being and is all consuming. I am not in it now - part of seeing it seems to reduce it. I actually saw sweetP today as he had sweetly agreed to do a one off family session...Read More...

AG recommended that book to me- and I thought it was FANTASTIC! I gave it to my T to read, which he did, and he kept it. Ah well, glad he read it. It has lots of me in the margins though so I hope he does not lend it out. I write lots in the good books. There is one page in the book (AG knows it- I think in the 50s or 70s- not sure)that jumps out at me- about the power of the theray relationship. It begins... Those with hazy parental relationships...ah not even sure if that is correct. AG...Read More...

a little self disclosure is bonding. but, too much, and i feel like...who's therapy is this anyway... that old sack, t3 talked all the time about herself. i can't begin to tell you how BAD she was. ohhhh!!! anyway. things that show their humanity and own struggles, a bit...like pa talked about the death of a friend just a bit today. it helped me to hear him share something with me that meant alot to him. so, a bit is good. NONE is too weird...too stiff (t1) ... jill and halo...that is SICK!Read More...

yay, sounds like the perfect solution...taking a little breather but not quitting. I love it! Enjoy your time off.Read More...

Hi Pan, Miss my Dad something awful sometimes so I can relate. On the first year anniversary of his death, we had a dumb dinner - I think it was called. Check it out on the internet. I can't remember the rules but it turned out to be a lot of fun with all of us eventually sharing really nice warm memories of my Dad. Part of the dinner is in silence but we all did eventually talk. My kids admitted afterwards that they were nervous at first but really enjoyed it. With your mil's birthday so...Read More...

Permafrost ~ That is a really tough spot. I think it is one of the hardest things for me to not distrust. It’s also a pretty essential thing. It’s taken me time to not distrust my T and to risk that she could be a safety net. Honestly, it's still a matter of that she "could be" a safety net, but I believe that is possible enough to take the risk. And it's taken a lot of time to get there. We’ve talked through about what to do in a crisis beforehand. She’s explained and reassured me a number...Read More...

Incognito, I'm sorry that you are going through this. I feel very similarly to you right now. In fact just last Tues. during my session I sat there in silence and maybe said like 20 words (and none of them really made any sense). I go in to therapy feeling like a failure...like we've discussed all this before so what is the point. While you're words are worthless and loneliness, mine are pathetic and weak. The fact that I seem to not be able to verbalize anything when I go in some weeks just...Read More...

There are many different kinds of meditation and i find mindfulness particularly useful. I have been meditating for years and there are two aspects to it. The first is to calm our minds a bit, we have so many thoughts and ideas and so much activity in our heads that having something simple like a pebble or your breath to focus on is a starting point. It is fascinating to see how swept away we get in emotion and memory and it is a long hard struggle to begin to change that pattern. The...Read More...

Hi again, I'm seeing my T in a few hours. I'll probably take along the pro/con list, and I've written a letter explaining some of how I'm feeling. Pan, it's encouraging to hear that telling your T your were terrified of him helped you to make progress in therapy. I didn't originally go to therapy for anxiety, but I'm developing a serious anxiety problem through the process of therapy. It feels very discouraging to be going backwards rather than forwards. (I originally went to therapy for...Read More...

I like sweetP too!Read More...

LG, I am so glad she got back to you and you are going to see her. I hope you are able to clear up any questions you may have on Thursday. Keep us posted. (((HUGS)))) LieseRead More...