What if her hands were tied? What if she WOULD help you for longer if she could? What if she HATED having to tell you that the surgery/doctors were pulling the plug on your help there as they thought you needed more specialised care and they forced her hand? What if she actually truly does understand how bad it is and cares deeply? What if she is as mad as hell at them pulling the plug and is trying to make it sound very reasonable as her defense mechanism? What if your anger and your rage...Read More...

yes it is anger at the fee, melba, i've put in one year one to two times a week at $125 to $150 an hour, most one and a half hour appointments, you do the math, i can't take it. i know it takes time, but geez, WHEN!?!?!?!?! and LL, glad you relate, i actually printed that out and wrote a few more thoughts and plan to read it next time, so t gets the jist of my frustration. and psychology?? sorry, but it is NOT a consumer friendly business, in my opinion. and in my experience. i have yet to...Read More...

Hi again everyone. Forgive me if any of my responses sound kind of distant or whatever. I feel like I'm in a very numb place right now. Honestly, it's time like these that I question who the person is that even posted this to begin with. JD, What you wrote is really helpful. I feel all of the same fears that you did. I'm not sure if I'm to the place where my fears that revolve around her not knowing are worse than the ones that revolve around her knowing. Just like you explained and your T...Read More...

Oh lizzygirl....I am so sorry that your husband said that. Please know that is his insecurities. You know, you can always change your mind and go back. I have experienced for many years a verbally abusive relationship. My T told me to remember as I get healthier, my husband was certainly not going to be doing handstands in the front yard celebrating. Remember that as you continue on your path of healing and health, especially if your husband is doing nothing, he will continue to try and pull...Read More...

LL I'm finding it relly hard to remember how to get back there...anybody else feel the same? Thanks for posting this thread...it's given me a starting point anyway starfishyRead More...

(((((Sheychen))))))) I am so sorry for the depth of pain you find yourself in. You really have been retraumatized. Once again someone you thought you could depend on, who said they would be there for you, no matter what, failed to go the distance. You took the terrible risk to open up and allow another to see your pain only to be rejected. It reinforces so many of our most forceful (and often most wrong) beliefs. Please hear as much as you can that the failure lies in your C's capacity to...Read More...

Jill You're very sweet. She doesn't refer to herself as Dr. LaCombe, so no one is used to referencing her that way. It would have thrown me too. If I find more information on this topic I'll keep you posted! KOIRead More...

AG, I agree with you. Lamplighter, that was some amazing insight you had into my 'stuff'! How did you do that??? I had this big long post typed up in response to you earlier today LL (because long is all I seem to know how to do ), and somehow my internet/cable connection was lost and when I hit "post now" it disappeared. Made me so mad. And of course I had spent so much time on it already I couldn't take more time to re-post so all was lost. I hate it when that happens--makes me super mad!Read More...

Thank you everyone for saying that you are not sorry when I post. That helped to hear. I just feel like I'm so depressed, bitter and useless that I should just stay away from OF. JD... thank you for all those kind words and thoughts about who I am. I'm not sure they are true but it's nice to hear. I'm not sure about the strength as I feel like I'm running on fumes these days... there is nothing left inside of me. Like I'm slowly fading away. I wish I could believe that my T didn't lie to me.Read More...

LL, as much as i WANT to think about therapy all the time...and i do...i try to do other things, because it makes me feel worse to obsess. one t, (there have been so many i forgot who) told me to put that energy into something constuctive, and as much as i HATE that kind of advise, secretly, i try to....but i will never give the t credit for it, if you know what i mean. mad four year old speaking. but, do something GOOD for YOU!! a manicure/pedicure...flowers for the house. get dressed...Read More...

Agreed! I'm off to bed starfishRead More...

...UV, that was a good question.. I have honestly no idea. i didnt bring up the book/sister thing..i know..i should`have. Just couldnt. too much other stuff that came up instead. If it is related to that, i might have made up that story in (defence) order to distract from that (too) dangerous topic. That might ver well be the case. I have to think about that. (thanks for remembering, btw! That was unexpected, in a very good way) and Deeplyrooted - Thanks for the long and personal response-...Read More...

Lizzygirl...all I have to say about recieving a gift from your therapist.....(imagine your best Napolean Dynomite voice/temperment).... Lucky HalsRead More...

Thank you for your kind words, AGRead More...

I know you have probably moved on from this now, but I also find ' no ' difficult from a T. I interpret as it meaning that they don't care, or do not love me enough. TO me it does feel like rejection and it was good in a way that you came to meet those feelings in a safe way with him, so that you can experience the whole play of it . I hope you worked it out with him adn gained useful insights.Read More...

What fantastic news, Holding On! I am really, really, happy for you.Read More...

Those are all great, UV. My favorite was the one that you added as your signature!Read More...

...could it be your T you`re angry at?? (when i find myself being angry- it often turns out to be my T. Not that i know why though..) I am sorry you`re in a tough place. Hope you find out with your T. and janedoe- dont fiht your anger. Fight with it! Its allot of constructive energy in that anger as well i bet!Read More...

Well, as you all know, she did not like what I told her and had is terminating my therapy with her.Read More...

Hi LL, Sorry it's been a few days. I think I'm okay with the possibility of other people hearing me so long as I never see them and never find out who they are! Even then... I had a session yesterday, and we were in the other office again, but there wasn't anyone having a session next door, so it was quiet. It was a million times better. I think my next session will be back in my T's regular office, though, which is actually a big relief now that I think about it. I'm sorry I haven't been...Read More...

Hi Butterfly, I think I can with great assurance, tell you I understand where you’re coming from. I’m sorry, I know this is painful and scary, especially since even though you were debating whether to go, this ending was forced on you. I ended with my T under very similar circumstances when she decided to leave her practice. I am glad that you can hang onto knowing the abandonment isn’t real but I also totally get you feeling that way. I know I did. On some level, I kept asking myself “but...Read More...

This is a reply to myself, since I can use this as a diary of sorts. I wrote that I was wary of her good mood and was wondering when Mr. Hyde would show himself again. Well, this thread was written on August 9, 2010 at 10:18 AM (the morning after), and now I've had to post again that Mr. Hyde is B-A-C-K. Today is October 6, 2010. We lasted about two months. Aahhh, it was so nice while it lasted.Read More...

Dear Geist, I'm really sorry to read this - anyone would struggle with the loss of employment, but in your situation, where you really need financial independence and the ability to get support for yourself, it's a particularly discouraging and frustrating turn of events. It is going to be tough to deal with your problems - but please don't try to rush yourself. This is going to take time to sort out. I suspect (but can't be sure) that the most helpful thing to do at the moment would be to...Read More...

Hi DF Don't waste your energy feeling silly - it was a perfectly reasonable question to which you now have a reasonable answer!!! I would have asked it also. Hope you had a good session overall. Take care MorgsRead More...

Hi everyone. Things have been so super crazy and busy with me lately that I have not been able to screw my head on right. I am so sorry for not posting something sooner, but was out of town and trying to settle into my new life. I just wanted to take a moment to respond to everyone’s posts. Agent- I am lonely, but more importantly, I’m going through a MAJOR life changing move. And T knows this. So it’s doubly hard that she seems to be not as supportive as I need her too be now. Or maybe, my...Read More...