Good luck with that paperwork, Smiley. I'm sure that job worries must be the most stressful of all. Sending hugs to get you through. Keep on posting. BBRead More...

Such an awful session, infact the worst. She said no to letting me record the sessions, so i explained why it would help me and she went on about attachment stuff and how it would not help me stand on my own feet and I argued that it is not about that, it is about not hearing what she is saying .. and wanting to. and she said that her supervisor and her supervisors supervisor and she herself ALL agree it would not be best for me to record my sessions. Then she did not swop the cardigan and...Read More...

Wow - great thoughts! Kashley - repeating the pattern from my past is exactly what I have started to think was part of what was going on with my ex-T. She is now responding to me in a way that feels so familliar. And somehow I end up in the weird it's all my fault position... and I think it is partly how I pick people, or the people I am drawn towards. Smiley - thanks for sharing. I was a people pleaser too. I still am. Sometimes it's easier than dealing with the opposite... I used to long...Read More...

Oh my goodness, how I can relate to this… My mom is ALWAYS telling me all these stories of things she is going to do once she leaves my dad. She talks to my sister and I about the things that we can do if my dad dies, like go to the shelter and adopt 2 cats. I learned when I was probably 15 or 16 that I need to give up hope that she is ever going to actually leave him. She has to have someone to blame for her life. I just want to yell at her to take some responsibility and stop just sitting...Read More...

good luck for tomorrow, if you are in America you will be probably having your session about the same time as me. Mine is 1pm English time. will be thinking of youRead More...

((Forlorn)) Wishing you well! SmileyRead More...

CT - Hope it all works out well for you.Read More...

PG, Oh yes, I know what you mean! I have many intermingling issues and it's like once that can of worms is open then they all come flooding out. It's not that I'm trying to go too fast, but rather it all seems to be so interconnected that I can't stop it once it starts. However, with my T's help, I am able to take little small pieces of it and work on them slowly and not have to go in there and bite off an entire chunk all at once. Something that I found helpful in the beginning of talking...Read More...

(((((jill))))) agentRead More...

just wanted to say that I will miss you TN... I haven't been able to read all of the responses here and I'm so sorry if this seems so out of sync. But I really want to say I totally respect your decision and know what it's like to litterally "hang out in the baby section while struggling with infertility," and metaphorically when it comes to the process of healing and recovery and this battle with my emotions... right now I am in both places. I kinda have some of the better side of therapy -...Read More...

Hey Beebs, I understand this completely...it's a hard thing to deal with, because it leads to this endless push/pull of wanting to feel care, but feeling as if we have to be a victim to receive it, and then (for me), feeling guilty about the whole thing! Which only leads to backing off from my T before it starts all over again. You are so sweet, BB. I've spent a lot of time since my session being almost consumed with this need to apologize to my T for being a trouble and being the way I am.Read More...

well said draggers...can I just add something? I worry because the therapeutic relationship is supposed to be about you, and only you, getting the needs you can get met through therapy. Well, if your instincts are right, then that would bring her needs into the room, which is totally unfair to you. You could (as you know) end up in a position that you get badly used and hurt, a sort of re-enactment of past scenarios maybe, as anyone on this forum who has had boundary crossings by their T...Read More...

Oh Frog I came too late to reply to you - I’m so sorry you went through such a miserable time before your session and equally GLAD that you were able to talk to T about those things and that he has understood. YAY! I’m so glad you are not quitting therapy, and also that it’s ok for you not to HAVE to change (for what it’s worth I believe change happens all by itself, not something you can will yourself to do) and it’s ok for you not to have to ‘repay’ your T in any way. Blanket Girl has...Read More...

You are very welcome! Thanks for keeping us posted, as well... BBRead More...

Interesting.... Thanks AG!Read More...

TN, you don't know me, I am new here, but i do know what it is like to have therapy get very difficult and even damaging, so I would like to send you safe hugs and real heart care. I hope you find a way forward in this dark and difficult space, it is so hard this therapy. would not wish it on my worst enemy, none of us would. It takes so much courage and strength and requires that we feel safe and respected. I hope you find the safety and respect that you need. Please take good care of...Read More...

Wow, jill...I think that was a pretty insightful response. I think that UV is onto something here, with the laughter at her dad's yelling, and the laughter at the heart texts. There is something in that, really important. And,interestingly it's exactly the kind of thing that (angry) 12 year olds do. I did not know it was possible to get "stuck" at an age developmentally...and I would love some more info or your thoughts on that, since I often get the impression that I am a kid in an an...Read More...

Hi Jones, I like how you write. You must have gone through a lot yourself to sound so balanced. Eric's recent choice has been like a ton of bricks. Him coming out as gay was one thing to deal with. Then to see him change his lifestyle and BECOME gay was another. For example, we used to enjoy nice dinners, and after the "I'm gay" bit, he can't seem to get through anything without bringing it up. So even the nice dinners have fallen to the wayside. Every time I travel to see him, it's not...Read More...

gosh- so meny stupid things that would have made me do.Read More...

this is very lovely jill...thank you so much for posting it for us! BBRead More...

I agree with what others have said! AG has a great list there. Five weeks is a really long time, but just like the two weeks I went through, one day at a time was the best way for me. I literally checked the days off the calendar. I tried to plan some things that I normally would not have done or had time to do as well. Please keep checking in. It really helped to have my daily check in thread here and have everyone cheering me on and reminding me that I could get through the break. It...Read More...

Thank you so much for the encouragement and support! I so appreciate everyone's confidence in me, it really helps when I'm not having any confidence in myself. I ended up sending an email last night to my T telling him about being scared and sad and he replied to me today with an incredibly attuned, understanding email. It really restored my hope and joy. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to be a mess next Wednesday, I don't think there's any way around that. But I know it's going to be ok...Read More...

Hi Jones & BB, I've read that article before and agree that it is pretty amazing. The hardest thing for me in therapy is really admitting to my T when I've done something wrong against her. Not that I do things to intentionally hurt her, because I don't know that they hurt her per se, but they are definitely boundary crossings, and it's so hard to admit that I have intentionally done those things. I'm up against this right now (again ) and reading this gave me a little bit more courage...Read More...