UV I see your struggle with this and I hope that my horrible story is not affecting you in a negative way. I remember reading about other abrupt terminations and getting really scared. In fact, I told my T about one of them and he was shocked and said he'd never do that (famous last words I guess). The hardest thing is that there is never a guarantee no matter what a T says to us. I am hypervigilant too and watched my T like a hawk trying to ascertain what he was up to and to read him to see...Read More...

good information, uv. i think my termination meets none of the criteria of a properly handled termination. i will deal with this all later, but thanks. helpful to know. jillRead More...

Welcome Frog! I apologize for not welcoming you sooner.Read More...

Welcome SMB! Sorry I'm so late.Read More...

Dear Forlorn, I deeply feel for you, -this confusion can be so dreadful(?) and suck the best energy out of your (loving) heart.. Dont let it! I truly believe your Love for your T. I can tell. And I agree with you; It`s beyond (above?) the knowlidge and facts, info about your T etc.. Because in a way: You two have a bound and relation, wich intimacy is A LOT stronger then most partners and friends got. (I am sure you know all this, bear over with me for getting teacher-role on you..lol) I can...Read More...

UV great to read your post - I'm so glad you're now feeling good again about your T and therapy. LLRead More...

thank you! you have all been so supportive, a bit overwhelming for me... but i am glad to meet every one of you!Read More...

Forlorn, that is such a nice gesture by your T. I am happy for you. I appreciate you sharing that as it is very heartwarming. KOIRead More...

BTW folks: I ended up NOT giving the lettes. Long story, back and forth.- Anyways; i think it was a good ideaRead More...

Welcome Zivah! I am also still a newbie(?) here at forum, but feel "old in therapi"-game. I understand your conserns about you upcomming therapi- hang in there! Hopefully your new relation with your T will bring light and brightness into your life (and soul) Big words- BUT SO TRUE! Dont bother yourself with burdening thoughts- its normal, but just try to trust that it will be good for you. I was also terrified it would be a mess, and that i would f***it all up, But I`m a living proof- that...Read More...

Thanks for posting this, PG. It was a really interesting article and touched on some stuff that my T and I talked about today. I needed to read it, especially the second quote Maclove put in her post above. All of it, really. Thanks again! MTFRead More...

Thanks (((((PG))))) (((((Draggers))))) and (((((Jill))))) I am feeling much better and much calmer....mlcRead More...

Dragonfly - I found the post on Dissociation by TN. Thanks for the info!Read More...

Hi again all...Just popping in to say that I'm resting comfortably and being waited on by my son and my dh. I'm feeling a tiny bit better each day and my appetite is back and I'm eating well. I'm lucky in that my dh is a great cook. I've been sleeping a lot and reading and watching baseball games on TV. It's been hard to deal with the helpless feelings....where I cannot do for my son or even myself right now all that I would like to do. I just tell myself in time I'll be back to normal. I'm...Read More...

I’m sorry, Forlorn. I know, it really sucks to have to deal with people like this. I think you are totally in the right, just with the fact that she is supposed to be the authority in the situation, but that comment she left you, WOW! That’s just rude. I had this one teacher senior year of high school who sounds almost exactly like the teacher you are dealing with. I know for a fact that she had personal issues with me, and at the end of the year we got in a really big fight. She completely...Read More...

zimmy, this is all just transference stuff speaking to you. i am NOT trying to minimize the ALARM you are feeling, but, hoping to let you see some perspective. i don't intend to not be KIND, but, i have had some real TERRORS lately, that, fortunately, my husband has been able to tell me i have gone down the TRANSFERENCE/MOMMY ISSUES ALARM TRAIN, that it ISN'T the reality i am attributing it to. i've been there, in tears last week with the same stuff (and i am more than twice your age...) so...Read More...

janedoe, good wishes to you on this trip. this will be something good for you to 'accomplish' and i can so relate to the panic of unimportant things...socks...kind of like your brain protecting itself over all the bigger issues. and that long without seeing your father is a biggie. i guess, my advise? keep your eye on the prize...getting through to the other side, and the view from there. i know i just let down a major wall with my parents for unreleated (to my therapy) reasons...dad's...Read More...

seablue, Sorry I'm a bit late in responding to your post re your successful session. Am so pleased that you were able to talkabout it and she could clarify things for you. And yes, I do believe you WILL know when is the right time to leave, it feels so unsettling now because it is NOT the right time. Our Ts have a duty of care to not keep us in therapy for longer than we need I guess, so the occassional reminder of 'life after therapy' is important BUT shouldn't be done in a way as to freak...Read More...

Jill, I didn't take it as an insult and I understood where you were coming from. I just wanted to add that for me that it has never felt that way, but I suppose had it been offered too soon then I would have felt like it was a "paid" gesture or been very suspicious of her motives for sure! I hope that you find what you are looking for in a T. That last T sounds like she was a mess!Read More...

Just a quick note to thank all of you on here for your support and kindness and encouragement. Thank you for listening to me go through this difficult time. I would be in way worse shape without all of you. My session tonight was worse than I could have imagined it would be. We barely spoke of the surgery and aside from some small talk everything that went on in there just made me feel sick. I tried to talk about attachment and why I felt that we were struggling lately. I showed him SG's...Read More...

((((((FOT)))))) I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm so glad to hear that you were able to be with others who knew her too. I totally agree that we never "get over" losing someone, but that we adjust to living "without" them, and it is really hard. But much harder it is, when it is not talked about...like your family of "clams" . I have had the experience of laughing...through tears of grief...with people who also knew someone I knew who had died. It doesn't make the grief disappear...Read More...

Congratulations janedoe, it's brill that you went for it despite it feeling out of reach. Well done! S XRead More...

ok, my first dream interpretation. i won't bore you with the details, but NEVER have i remembered a dream. and i did this am, about the pa guy i talked to (as mom) and he was uncaring, detached, preoccupied as my mom was. i wrote it all down. so much was a mirror, and easy even for me to interpret,anyway, i am intrigued, and may go this way for awhile. still pondering, but, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....my unconsciuos has a lot to say. jillRead More...

no, you sound healthy. i got a double dose of guilt plus some growing up...guilt and obligation were my mom's favorite tools to keep me in line. i've learned something too, maybe harmless banter with no goal in mind is ok? i don't know. harmless banter, in my single days with a man, lead to sex. and i liked it that way. mmmmmm jillRead More...

I guess I figure the whole dynamic would be weird to her. This girl who loves her T like a mommy, but daydreams about kissing her. Yeah... So the dream I worried she would see as sick. BUT... I shared it with her. I printed it out and let her read it last session. We talked about it a little. Then I couldn't deal with discussing the daydream piece so we moved on. But I was very relieved she didn't appear grossed out. whew!Read More...