Russ - thank you for posting this, it's very apt for me at the moment as I too miss my parents, yet at the same time am having huge trouble even trying to connect with them (especially my mother) on anything but a superficial level. I've never really had a proper father daughter relationship with my dad, as he left when I was two and the relationship has been one of bieng in touch and losing touch (down to me, when I couldn't cope with the drama and strain). My mother - hmm, where to start.Read More...

Dragonfly, thanks very much for your suggestion - I am seeing my T today so will try it out (if I remember that is - I am really bad at remembering things when I'm there!) LOL! S xRead More...

K, Sounds like you've got some defenses in place or something. Some self-protective mode you're in and you're aware of it this time. I don't know, I could be wrong. Sorry you're still struggling, girl. Time always seems to drag on when we want it to hurry up and fly by. Hang in there, K. You've done a good job so far! MTFRead More...

All I want to know is: how did you do that? I don't know if my T is giving me love. I seriously don't know if I can call this love. I don't know if I should feel loved by my T. I just can't reach there. I feel sometimes like he is pushing me to say something, something about love, but I really don't know. Once, long time ago, well few months ago I said to him, that I would like to be loved by him. He replied that he can't give me what I want, but he will be with me through this. He also...Read More...

Hi UV I'm very new here and waiting for my first session with a recommended T. The title of this post really spoke to me... I have only just started to acknowledge that my childhood was completely 'wrong'. Intellectual understanding is of course, nowhere near actually dealing with it emotionally, though, which I hope a T will be able to help with. I never felt part, of anything, always felt off to one side, my mother never congratulated me on anything without condition - 'that was ok, but...Read More...

smiley, i am late on this but i hope things are better. can you ask you t to talk for you? a time or two mine took me places and talked for me and it helped, and she was right on to what i was feeling. helped me get used to it, and not have to perform. just a thought, and breathe, my friend. i hear the panic, and the spiraling, been there. breathe, get outside, breathe. post here, breathe. you are going to be ok, my friend. it will get better, and i know how i hate hearing that myself, so,...Read More...

y'no? i have a good friend who is a MSW and her husband a psychiatrist, and there are some real LEGAL issues with what she did to me. are y'all aware of this type thing?? we have more rights to humane treatment than i realized, in fact, she could create a case, she thinks for rebate of dollars spent and her unethical termination. anyone have experience here?? she is really buttoning up her stuff, but i have a BIG MEMORY OF UNMET PROMISES...got really good at that as a child, could not...Read More...

janedoe, feel free to pm me if it would help. i get the shivers at times and it helps to go outside, (pop an anxiety med or a beer...or both...oops!) when i was spinning over the t3 giving me the boot, i kept telling myself she is just ONE person in this BIG world and certainly ONE person i hardly know couldn't be that important, and to recognize it for what it really pulled on, and that was the attachment stuff. can you determine what this is really about?? can you look out at the stars in...Read More...

thanks strummergirl, i am going there now, and STRM, yes, a break actually feels pretty good. i have been playing golf and tennis and just hanging it up for awhile. i am interviewing, slowly a few therapists, but won't start til after kids get in school. funny, i don't think i feel the deperation i have felt. i think my sixth sense knew she was insincere. a stinky phoney with no compassion...fake. and smelly (ok, little five year old jill, can it with the body odor comments!!)Read More...

Dear JaneDoe...I am beyond sickened and horrified to read how you have been treated...but I am also SO GLAD you shared it and didn't keep it all locked up inside you, so can hear over and over again how you really were the one wronged in every way. I agree with everything that's already been said. You are none of the negative words you used for yourself, it hurts to even think about saying them in relation to you so I don't even want to type them. Hmm, that's weird...I was just picturing how...Read More...

TN I agree with Starfish - Good for you!! Glad you had the strength to do that.Read More...

Bye Jill - have fun!Read More...

Hang in there DeepFried!!!Read More...

I pick forlorn because it was the feeling that closest match my mood and sounded the most like a feminine name. The end part reminds me of Lauren, which is a pretty name to me. Cool topicRead More...

sorry- this was suddently a very old response.. I cant cope with the speed in here It was ment to one of the first message..Read More...

Thank you so much ForlornRead More...

Just dropping in quickly in the middle of packing and cleaning...VL- I understand what you are saying, why would you put yourself through such a thing again...it is hard. But maybe the thing, is to reevaluate your reasons for being in therapy, and see if it still feels like something you need to do? If you can find a T who can make the process about you getting your needs (the ones the T can meet) met through therapy, than, I would say it is worth it, though it is still not "enough" to fill...Read More...

jane, sis, provo girl, and draggers...still can't talk about it. thanks for caring, wish SHE did, but y'alls support is so helpful do you ever feel you are surrounded by support and love, but that the people who care, CAN'T heal you, and the people who CAN heal you just f-ing don't care!!?? that is where i am parked today. thanks for caring, friends!! jillRead More...

dragonfly, laughing is fine! i meant it truthfully, but if i don't have some fun while i'm circling the drain, then it would all just suck!! glad you laughed!! xxoo, jillRead More...

aw, tn and smiley, thanks. it helps to much just to have your words. no one else but us here on the board gets this stuff. tn, mine claims to be an expert in inner child work, but dang, she sure skirts the issue alot. i guess she is seeing what i can handle. what i CAN'T handle is skirting the issue!!! y'no? i KNOW you do!! thanks, smiley, i will, i will do one nice thing for me just coz YOU told me to!! thanks!! jillRead More...

DeepFried Please feel free to write anytime here. My thought about your T is this.....If you are really feeling this much about it, maybe you should look at a T that is involved with your other people already. It seems to me that your t has a different road scheduled for you and your 2 t's are going head to head. Don't give up ok?Read More...

You have all given me good advise. My situation is so complicated. My T spoke with a colleage who expressed concern at the suddenness of my husband's obsession. My T finally came our and said, "if you were my daughter, I would tell you to leave. But you are not my daughter, so you have to make that choice" My choice is to stay. As I said my life situation is very complex and enmeshed with my H. We have a livestock farm with 30 animals. It take the two of us to run it. I can be replaced for a...Read More...

Oh No BeeBee you are leaving us too? Well, I'm glad it's only for a short time and for a fun reason. I wish you safe and happy travels. I will miss your thought provoking posts and warm hearted responses. Don't forget to come back to us. Hugs TNRead More...

Amazon, I relate so much to what you're saying. I have had the same sorts of problems with my friends. Unless people have been in therapy, I mean really been in therapy, not just a few sessions with some T they didn't click with, they just don't get it. About a year ago I was really struggling with the erotic transference feelings I had (have) for my now ex-P, and I opened up to a couple of friends about it. They said, "Just get a new therapist. Then you can have an affair with him!" like it...Read More...

STRM, thanks for telling me the end of the story and I guess it worked out for you as I know you have children now. I will talk to my T about the guided imagery, I know he used it one time with my son who was afraid of having nightmares and he told him a really nice story about what he needs to think of and perhaps he can do the same for me. I have a small tape recorder I can use if he agrees to it. I'm glad the Xanax is helping you. It's so hard to give in and take the drugs. In my case,...Read More...