Hey BB, Boo to disappearing posts! I can't tell whether I'm here or not.... But I'm giving you a passing hug in either case - you know, the cabin door is unlocked, why don't y'all bundle in and keep the place warm for me while I flit in and out? xxxJRead More...

STRM, i think you are right, my t is going slowly, she says i am more afraid of that inner child and what she has to say than anybody else in my life. and i think she is right. i fear letting loose, as that inner child, expressing that anger that i am sure lurks in there that was never allowed to express. i wish i could just accept the child and nurture her, as i don't want to have to experience that anger, and too, i would feel REALLY STUPID expressing it, crying, hitting a pillow, all that...Read More...

WLOH: Oh my goodness....I am soooooooo sorry that you have lost your "first love".....the one that you "loved the most"....I can only have imaginings of how you must be feeling....I thank you for your tender sharings.....I am most appreciative!! Grieving....a difficult process for sure....take good care of yourself and again, thank you for the post!!Read More...

Jill, I dissociate often in sessions. T is always asking - where are you going and I have to make an effort to come back at times. I can also relate to the feeling of watching the abuse happen - from above. I suspect I spent a lot of time dissociated as a child. I was very often accused of daydreaming and even had my hearing tested several times in elementary school. We have done some hypnosis/guided imagery - I am unsure if there is and what the difference is really. We have talked about...Read More...

Hi BB and MacLove. Thanks ! BB, I think it's more complicated than who's right and who's wrong. I know that in some situations, like meeting with someone special, I tend to be a bit nervous/anxious or just apprehensive. When this happens, I imagine the person is in front of me and I say out loud what I have to tell. A bit like a rehearsal. This helps by noticing my emotions/how I feel, when the words are actually coming out of my mouth. In your case, your T told you: "You have to learn to...Read More...

TN, I have nothing to add to the insightful responses you have already received. I just wanted to let you know I think what you did in that session was amazing and that I am sorry the ambivalent bug is biting now. I hate it when that happens. I do find it a bit interesting to see how I have done a similar thing as you. During a session with my ex-T that was not going well, I shared big secret. I've always been stumped at the reason for doing it but the explanation you gave for doing it with...Read More...

DF I am sorry that happened to you (((DF))) I can imagine how it might occur though, as the feelings of being very young are so overwheming and real, and if you're adding terror into the equation too, well then it's perfectly understandable. But I can imagine how hard that would have been for you. Many adults in terror-filled situations do likewise, without even regression playing its part. Well that makes me even more glad that you have Faith, from what you have ever posted about her I...Read More...

Hello, This is an interesting thread. Since I've suffered from depression, learned a lot from it and will soon open a private counselling practice, I thought I'd share my experience and knowledge about ADs and overcoming depression. I've lived on 3 different continents in the past 12 years, did A LOT of research, interviewed clients, patients, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Counsellors, etc... and what I found might be of some assistance. Although this is somewhat basic. So, bear with me...Read More...

He also wanted to borrow my book- A General theory of Love by Lewis et al. I am thrilled! Great bookRead More...

Janedoe: glad to hear that you are feeling better today...what a scary dream...glad that it was a dream...chocolate cake...yes indeed....mmmm..... I think I am feeling a little better today....would like to just put this whole thing to rest now and move forward.... Take good care!!Read More...

Jill: I am sorry to hear that your T had hurt and invalidated you...that sucks....this seems to be an all too common experience in therapy.... I like how Forlorn brought up the human defence...While for the most part, in my 11 year therapy run, the sessions progressed rather smoothly, I can remember feeling so hurt by her actions once that I thought that was it.... no more therapy for me...when she apologized I wondered whether it was sincere....she brought the human defence into the...Read More...

Good to see you posting Jones, even if only for a 'pop-in' visit! Hope the hair has time to lose a little frizz in some quieter moments, but glad the busyness of what you are doing is also giving you times of happiness and productivity. starfishRead More...

I asked my T if it is common for all people to love their therapists (I was wondering if he loved his therapists - he had 3 of them over the years). He replied that some people just hate their therapists and he disliked most of them, except maybe for one guy who was kind of like a father figure to him. That's just to answer to you Russ, but I didn't really get a lot of information from himRead More...

MH, i wasn't ranting for someone to answer me here, but i appreciate your answer, i was more ranting that of the four discussion groups in the general area, i was the last poster, and i was feeling like i talk too much!! more being funny, than asking for an answer on this one thread. but yes, what you said about provoking you, your t, sometimes she says something that might anger you...hmmm, that is not her reason for saying it. i guess she is innocent but being truthful, so, sounds fair to...Read More...

Forlorn, I'm so sorry you had this childhood. I know the tenseness of which you speak so well. The only difference between your description of your mom is that for me it was my dad. I remember frequently hiding under my bed when he got home from work, not coming out until I could determine by listening whether he was in a bad mood or not. I never knew what I would be in trouble for or how I would displease him next, nor how to prevent it. So yeah, I guess I transfer that fear or expectation...Read More...

AG, Take care if yourself and your family. I will miss you and your insightful words. I wish you the best in your continuing journey. seablueRead More...

UV, I'm glad that your T was positive about the text that you sent and that he seems ok with you repeating it. It sounds like it is something that could help you get through the week and that is good. My T does not do email because she says it is not a secure form of communication. I do fax her letters though and she is great about reading them. At first it was a large amount and I did use it to avoid talking about hard stuff in session, but as time has gone on they have been shorter, more...Read More...

Hi, I just wanted to second what MTF said. It's great that you had such a good session with your T. I hope that you continue to have many more positive sessions! It is always nice when we can see the progress.Read More...

UV ~ This articles bugs me a bit too. I think your comments were really good. I love what you wrote here: well said! I agree that the labeling of good and bad seems really BAD. I don't like that it is labeling good kids and bad kids. Or good parents and bad parents. It’s sometimes not that simple... And a kid being a bad seed? Argh! and saying any kid is a “bad seed,” just seems so wrong to me. It doesn’t help anything either. I am speaking very much from my own stuff here - which means this...Read More...

"Don't Feel" - Kids learn not to feel because… Expressions of fear, sadness, anger, guilt, embarrassment, loneliness are not allowed because they may trigger the same in the parent"" i just read this and this is a biggie for me, thought it might help some of you too, i know i don't 'feel', or if i do, it is this overwhelming anxiety about what, i do not know, but i know that if my kids are suffering from a negative emotion, i probably have given them, unconsciously, the message to not feel,...Read More...

Hey MTF, I just wanted to mention something that I've recently read. I started the book In Session, and there was a large section in there specifically on transference. There were several stories of experiences with therapists who chalk up nearly every feeling toward them as being strictly due to transference and not having any validity as being "real." In reality, it's some of both. It's a little confusing, because your T's reaction when you described her as a fun person kind of goes along...Read More...

ok, know i am a really warped sack of potatoes, but a couple of realistic things. i think it is easy to idealize them to the point that they are having the picture perfect vacation with the best marriage, friends, etc. and not that we don't want that for others, but really, it is not realistic to feel that 'just getting away from us' is a huge holiday!! they have issues they drag with them, just like we do. too, i know just knowing you can't see them seems unbearable, you have so much you...Read More...

Yeah, those two quotes make my think of my P which is why I use them. The first about the love we cant have hurting the most and lasting the longest is so true and the way I feel about my P is going on 12 years now and has been the most painful thing ever. And the second one is something I try to remember when it comes to my P because I know he cant love me the way I want him to but he does love and care about me in every way that he can. It doesnt make it any more easier to deal with...Read More...

UV thanks so much for explaining that, and I'm sorry I got myself all worked up about it. Hope you are still feeling great :hug: LLRead More...

yes, sweet df, the cuddling and affection and spoken love...that is just instinctive. it is funny, my mom just stares at how my big boys are so affectionate with me, touch, hugs ... she looks and marvels at what a normal relationship looks like. i wonder if she really 'gets' what our difference at our house is...she looks like she is a ghost. really a vacant person there. undiagnosed.., anyway, i am so glad that you have such a sweet and natural family and are able to, like many of us,...Read More...