Yes, I agree! Thank you!Read More...

starfish, bingo. you get your hand slapped enough, through ridicule, sarcasm or humiliation, my parents favorite tools, and you just DON'T extend it anymore and live a very protected life!! bb, your quote: So maybe all of this inability to accept emotions and pain as real comes from this kind of negation. wow, that is what i asked for the first three months in therapy.."is this real"...all my spinning and fog? if i would have had a broken arm it would have made sense that it hurt, but...Read More...

I tried to post a response twice before but my internet connection frooze each time. Hopefully this time this works! (sorry about the long delay) Thanks for the feedback and responses and encouragement. I had another session with the equine T and your responses all stuck with me. I'm still rpocessing what happened - but whoa, it was cool. And ok. safe. I said what I liked. Jill ~ It is a therapy where there is tons of transference. I just realized that when I read your response. After my old...Read More...

FOT, I'm sorry. I have a close friend in this battle at the moment too. I wish you and your friend peace. Ariel, thank you for your thoughts. What you say about keeping vigil is a big question in my life and one I don't have answers for. Your words have given me a different perspective to think from. I'm glad the image of two tracks is helpful to you - I will think of it for you too. Smiley, thank you so much for putting words to your thoughts about this. It's helping me to shift out of my...Read More...

Monte, Maybe it's not emotion I'm picking up in your posts, then. I don't know what it is. You write really well and are always very expressive, and I'm picking stuff up all over the place, but maybe that's because we're on a similar wavelength or something. If it's not emotion, then what is it? Hmmm. Now I've got something else to think about. Great! Are you an intellectualizer too? MTFRead More...

Hi AG, Thanks so much for sharing that story. My position sounds somewhat similar to yours in the beginning. My partner knows I'm unhappy, but doesn't want to acknowledge that the problems in our relationship is a huge contributing factor to that unhappiness. Not the only factor, obviously - I'm more than willing to admit that I've got a lot of personal work to do. But I think I've been pretty clear and pretty specific that I'm not happy with some important aspects of our relationship, and...Read More...

Dear AG, yes, that describes it well! Sometimes I only need to hear people in other rooms, in the hall to get like that. Thank god for earplugs! Argh!!! It's so infuriating and I want to CHANGE! So I need to remind myself that things take time and I have been getting "better" (asked my t for a tissue the other day with only a little internal jolt...) Thanks for sharing AG, I feel less of an idiot SBRead More...

sleep tight.Read More...

PS- you didn't seem in the least churlish...I was very glad that you were posting and saying everything that was on your mind and hope you will continue to do that...as you want to, of course...thanks for the kind thoughts.Read More...

UV, I didn't realize something until this morning and I want to apologize. I went very left brain, providing a list of standards, and definitions and giving you a bunch of references. I did not however at all address any feelings involved. So I just want to tell you that I'm sorry you had to endure all this as a child from the people who should have protected you and taken care of you. You deserved so much better than you got and I'm sorry I neglected to say that earlier. AGRead More...

Seablue, not a problem for me at all - the way I see it this is a public forum and anything I post on here is open to anyone to read anyway. And I’m glad showing your T this thread helped (nice to know that the help this forum gives extends beyond the forum itself ) LLRead More...

beautiful stuff, deeplyrooted. yes, the what if thinking, that is childlike, and thinking that things will ONE DAY all be perfect. letting go of all that makes such logical sense, and i know that logic is only a part of the battle. the emotions come much slower. i guess, integral for me, is whenever the emotions in the house were even slightly off, bad things happened. and i don't even know quite what all happened. i hid alot, so i just remember slamming doors and that kind of things was the...Read More...

Fancy that Jones, I just changed mine too, didn't seem fair...Read More...

Smiley (I just love that name) That is so true. Early on when we were just getting to know each other, I told him that I thought he was arogant at times. He said nothing. Several months later I was describing a feeling I had about him- I couldn't find the right word that described my perception of him, and he filled in the word arrogant,- to which I quickly responded- not at all. My T is very good at what he does, but he is a bit arrogant at times- but then again- sometimes swimming laps,...Read More...

Wow, another That is so wrong on so many levels. Ouch.Read More...

thanks bb. we had SOOOOOOOOOO much other stuff, still trying to wrap up my response to Dr. SLeepy who fell asleep in session two (t2), to begin the volumous amounts of problems i have with T1. but, i think that will happen soon. nice idea, though, to preface it with my fear, and kindof let her decide. she is a tiger, tho. really states boundaries for me with my life, in that directional kind of way that seems like you came up with the idea...i think that socratic line of questions. good...Read More...

So I "told" her. As she read it, I uncomfortably shuffled next to her. And when she was done she just said "was that what you've been wanting to telling me?" I said, don't just say "it happens, I hate that." and she said she would not say that because it's not always something that happens to everyone. But she did not freak and we did NOT talk about it much after that. I steered the conversation to other things for the rest of the session. But stupid me, I totally got distracted and forgot...Read More...

Monte...just trying to restrain myself since I know you don't like hugs...ermph...ug...ack... (((((Monte))))) ooops, sorry. Couldn't help it. BBRead More...

Shit... you can't answer to more then just one topic at once... my post got deleted before it was posted.... aaaahhhhh!!!Read More...

forlorn, your title just begged me in the door, i know where you are, i have been parenting my mother since i was 9 or so, not knowing it until recently, and the parenting i did was to keep whatever love (as illformed as it was, it was all i know of parental love) as even being without that, i consciously now know, was something. i didn't have any luck either, and see she is just a spoiled child, and only good to me, although i do all the giving, when HER vast needs are being met. yes, and...Read More...

ps, you say that you knew something like this would happen...did you expect that it would become a relationship that was based on you meeting her needs, you mean, or do you mean something else? The short answer to your question "does that not say something about me?" is that yes, in fact it DOES say something about you...something that you probably need to find out about slowly under the guidance of a caring therapist who is there for YOU, to help you do that...the long answer to your...Read More...

That is great!! I hope the interim period passes quickly!Read More...

Jill I found it really interesting that you would talk about not making another appt but planning on calling it because that's exactly how my T handles it. You don't leave or stop being his client, you just don't know when you're next appt is. I kept wanting to set an end date because I knew leaving would hurt and I just wanted to get it over with. He finally clearly called me on that, and said if I insisted he would set an end date but he really thought it would be better to let it happen...Read More...

Hi think tank Actually I don't think it's the driving that bothers me, fine in heavy traffic etc,don't really mind that at all - it's just that I can't be certain I'll go the right way if given directions a bit last-minuteish!! My husband is very used to me now, always jokes that he should just say the complete opposite of where we need too turn, and we'd just get there fine!! starfishRead More...

why do i always start every post with 'WOW'?? but, WOW, such great stuff LL and Jones. LL, yes, you got it, it is how i adapt at trying to be liked, for me, a selfish goal to avoid pain, rather than the alruistic light i had thought it to be, maybe a little of both, but definitely the purpose of the chameleon is multi-dimensional. and Jones, i guess i came on the board in a period of greater activity and more posters, and feel a bit relieved to hear you say that, as i am just marveling at...Read More...