Russ thanks so much for your comments. You’re dead right when you say I’d started looking for Ts who at least had experience because what I needed I reckoned the less experienced ones couldn’t help with - in fact I now see that experience itself is not enough (Strummergirl has hit the nail on the head - as usual - in another thread when she says that for a T to be able to help on the level I’m looking for - and I’m guessing quite a few others are too - the T has to have gone through their...Read More...

Ultraviolet hi Yes yes yes. I feel a LOT of anger and though sometimes it’s sparked by a specific event or person or comment mostly I sit in a pressure cooker of undirected rage (half the time I don’t even recognize that it’s rage it’s only lately that’s become clear.) Before, I’d really struggle trying to make a connection between my anger and something that must have caused it - and usually ended up with it all being my fault anyway. I’ve come to accept that yes actually I can be angry...Read More...

hee hee, thanks, from ALL OF US JILLS!!Read More...

Deeplyrooted - I think it was very generous of you to share your "ideal" T appointment. I'm sure it was helpful for lots of folks, myself included. It also sounds to me like you are firmly in the process of healing yourself and I am happy for you. saandRead More...

he illuminated the cause of my problems and helped me to get on the path of faith in God. and for that, i will be eternally grateful. wish he coulda finished it off, but, i dunno, tonight i feel that one day this will all end. in a good way!Read More...

ultraviolet, what is 'gaslighting'?? and thank you for you response and your encouragement. i felt so burned by him. in fact, in that that happened in our second session, i didn't realize it til a few days later, but just thursday i went to my SECOND session with T3, and i was SO BRACED FOR A PROBLEM that even her sitting in a different chair upset me. she TUNED INTO IT (yea! for T3) and went to her 'usual' chair. i was so braced...it was 'as if' seconds sessions were the problem...'second...Read More...

My therapist's car broke down completely while he was driving past the area where I live. I must have been sending some electrical shockwaves to effect it so badly. A few days before that I went to have a look at the new cars, thinking of changing into something new. Apparently now my T is going to get a new car too, since the old one is dead. What a coincidence, isn't it? I feel like wow, we are both going to get new cars around the same time! I passed him on the street today, while I was...Read More...

Well said, MTF! I feel the same way about threads I start. Mind if I copy what you said here in "my" threads? Russ, I get how friendships can be confusing...especially with the opposite sex, hey? BBRead More...

the more i read y'all's posts, the more i realize i should be content with no apology, etc. coz if i had that, i may be inclined to re-enter the sick co-dependant circle i was in. so, watch what you wish for, i am telling myself. better to just leave it as is. it is weird though, a year ago, if they were killed in a car crash?? i would have mourned. now?? i really don't know what i would do. but, just between us, relief at not having to be in relationship with them (because of my own sense...Read More...

i've been on lunesta for two years, love it, surely am addicted, but sleep is so essential. expensive, last time pharmacist suggested a generic for ambien, but i thought i'd check in out first. i take it like an m and m...now the abilify, hold the horses on that one, i may need it, i do think it cleared my thinking a bit, could have been placebo, but the headache was excruciating. lunesta for me was an easy yes, but i guess it depends on how you are sleeping without it?? i would wake up...Read More...

Well, if that is really all he wants then that is ok if YOU are ok with it. I think doing what feels right for you is most important. Oooh, looked handsome today huh? I was drooling over the barely older than teenage gardener across the street from my T today. He has his shirt off and a very shiny set of washboard abs. He was fun to look at for a few minutes! Oh yes, I can't wait to hear about the body language conversation and the birthday too!Read More...

BB, the first part of this quote is very sad because it is so true. The second part is as you said life-giving. Would you mind if I use this as a prompt to starting a new thread? I want us to expound on both of those thoughts. deeplyrootedRead More...

LL, Last week my T said: "The first day you came to see me, you told me that you came from 'a wonderful, very solid family. There's nothing wrong with my family.'"Read More...

Ha ha Pin Dolls Forever! Let’s see I need one for my stepmother (a BIG one there) and oh let me count - three for the worst of the Ts and at least two for the Pdocs who should have known better oh and there’s another one for the in between T who got angry at my tears calling them waterworks and spent the entire session telling me how intelligent he was and oh yes another one for... hm I think I’m going to need a lot of dolls lol. Jill whether you are the ‘problem’ or not it’s their JOB to...Read More...

Just curious, Jill. What role does anger - felt, unfelt, kind of felt - play in your day-to-day life? I'm finding reservoirs of almost blinding anger beneath all my other stuff. I haven't pin-pointed the precise whys just yet, but the anger is fierce.Read More...

Hi Jill, I too have experienced Christs love and grace in my life. The T that I see is of a different belief system, but it works for me. This website has much to say on finding a good attuned therapist- check it out. My T has all of the right stuff to do the job, and who knows I may- (Through the love of Christ) be of some benefit to him. If you are new in your faith- you may want to find someone who reflects that faith, though. I wish you Gods blessings in your search.Read More...

smiley, it will pass honestly it will. Keep yourself grounded as best you can ... having 50 people for a BBQ would stress me out too, but will no doubt keep you busy in preparation! Shall we all say a little prayer for sun over smiley's house this weekend? starfishRead More...

Welcome Agent...it's nice to meet you! Looking forward to seeing your posts! I've been reading this thread, but have nothing to add, really..I lie down after sessions and think, try to sleep a bit since I meet my T too early in the morning...sometimes I write important things down if I can remember the session. BBRead More...

I like that saying, too, Amazon. I also like: "The past isn't dead, it's not even past." - William Faulkner ...and... "We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us." - Bergen Evans echo, you're most welcome. I'm glad people are finding it interesting.Read More...

LL, I have missed you around here too. I so admire your courage and tenacity in your pursuit of the healing that you deserve. I hope that you can find some light in the darkness that you are feeling. (((((LL)))))) We are here for you when you are ready.Read More...

Hi SG, I just had to chime in to say that I can understand you and your DH perfectly. I so badly wish my DH would do couples therapy with me. He and I would be exactly the same as you and yours. We are both avoidant and our marriage sounds like yours. It's sad and very empty to live in that kind of a marriage. My T told us to talk for 20 minutes a night and we struggle trying to do that. It usually takes us about 10 minutes to accomplish the template she gave us, so I can't imagine trying to...Read More...

I have told two friends. One helps me out and the other refuses even though I offered to reciprocate ("it's just too complicated; I'd have to get dressed"). It's weird though, yk? I think they think I must be really crazy. If I mention anything about marriage problems, people seem to disappear into thin air, as if that problem is contagious.Read More...

Yes jones- and conquer them wearing heels. thanks all- for the B'day wishesRead More...