Wish I could answer you question MH, but I'm more muddled on this one that Monte! I am really struggling because I'm wondering the same things. I have wants that I think are needs, but then I think they're just wants again, and I go back and forth wondering what they really are. I want my T to understand me, and I also think that's a need for me to progress in therapy. But does SHE think it's a need, or only something I want. Does she think it's my husband that needs to understand me, not...Read More...

And about the transference with the female T, I think it is happening a little bit because I had a hard time when she was on vacation for a few weeks and it made it where I couldnt see her for a month and then time I went to the appointment and she wasnt there cause she had a medical emergency I wanted to cry on the way home cause I was so upset. Its nothing sexual at all but I think there is that attachment there at least a little bit that will probably get stronger. I talked to her on the...Read More...

Debbye, I'm glad that your T seems to be on your side with this. I completely agree with what he said. Personally, I wouldn't sign a waiver to let them talk. It sounds like your teacher is the one with the problem. I'm sorry this has been so upsetting for you.Read More...

Hi UV, Just want to say that procrastination, sluggishness, slowness are all problems for me that I have gained some significant ground on over the last year of steady psychodynamic work. They are not 'gone' as problems for me, and I haven't made progress in every area with this, but actually when I look back as I am at the moment (doing some self-evaluation as my t is leaving) I feel a LOT less stuck in many areas and take action a lot more speedily. I'm not sure how close our situations...Read More...

It's so tough knowing that, isn't it? But at least you do know it, because until I finally digested that thought, I was totally content. Or, content in knowing that I have a few screws loose and I keep using the wrong screw driver to put them into place. I so hope that you get something positive out of your session with your ex-T. At the very least, I hope you can get some direction. I have a session with my T on Friday, so I will bring up group therapy then - I'm a little afraid to talk...Read More...

Hi there again Ultraviolet. I hope your next session is soon. Let us know how it goes? :hug: LamplighterRead More...

Thanks, Monte! I appreciate it. You explained it perfectly.Read More...

Seablue, Are you kidding? I think it calls for cartwheels! That takes so much courage to put yourself out there when the shame monster hits and you just want to run away. Believe me, I know! I'm doing a bit better, thanks so much for asking. My T will probably get an ear full when I see her on Wednesday. I have a lot to get off my chest, and I've been a lot more emotional lately than usual so I know I need to get it out because my body is telling me so. I don't even want to answer the phone...Read More...

Hi Caeti nice to see you back here! I’m sorry you’ve been in hospital - that sounds like things got really bad for you? I hope you’re feeling more able to cope with things now? I’m not familiar with the positive feelings you’re talking about in relation to a T - maybe others on here who have similar experience are better able to relate to what you are explaining. My immediate thought on your question about ‘coming clean’ with T and explain about a relationship of which he knew nothing is...Read More...

Oh Monte - your words really brought the tears up that is such a powerful image you painted. Rest and peace YES! I so hope you can get over those walls you talk about and find in your T that other who just ‘knows’. It sounds like you already know he can be that for you - it also sounds like you’re getting to the stage where you will be able to breach your own walls. Big hugs to you Monte. And STRM that’s some brave thing of you to do - to accept the presence and comfort of your T in such...Read More...

Thank you, dragonfly and scaredtoriskmyself.Read More...

Thanks Dragonfly x Your idea of the scrap book is great and i do think i need something to focuss on coz at the moment it feels such a long time until i see her again. Maybe i will try and write Lots of hugs ((((((((dragonfly))))))) to you x Agent H63Read More...

This is a very interesting discussion. I think that what makes therapy (good therapy, that is) so unique is exactly what Russ said - that everything in therapy just is. It's something that I constantly have to remind myself of. Ah, fluffy bullshit. I'm very familiar with it. I was very aware of the fluff pouring out of my mouth at various points in my last session, and it really is hard to stop. I think it may have seemed like I was countering anything my T said with a ridiculous excuse. I...Read More...

I think the fact that you already felt supported by this new T is great. I think her offers are quite reasonable and reassuring as well. I completely agree with Kashley and Starfish about the talking on the phone being harder than in person. I also don't like talking to my T on the phone and I get the distinct impression that she does not like it either. I'm happy for you that your first interaction went so well and look forward to hearing how it goes when you start to see her in person.Read More...

Hi STRM, Nice to meet you, too! There's no question that the "child" inside is deeply involved with everything. In my therapy, we don't spend a ton of time talking about my "inner child" but there is an emphasis, for example, on how my mother's emotional reservation and void of any kind of passion for anything (including me) effected that part of me. Also, how my father's sneering dismissiveness, distance and inability to connect on any level effected that part of me. In fact, my T described...Read More...

Hi Amazon, I can relate to you here: It's awful to feel this way, too. I'm so sorry you're struggling with these feelings. I wish I could help you feel better, but I feel so much of the same thing with my own T right now that I'm not much help to anyone. I think you need to tell your T how you're feeling. Really just be totally honest and open with him. I know how hard that is, because I know that's what I need to do too, I just am too scared to do it. Good luck. ((((((Amazon)))))) MTFRead More...

Hi CT... I missed reading what you deleted and I hope you are okay and will come back soon to let us know how things are going for you. Hang in there. I just want to add that I've been through some serious disruptions with me T over the past year or so. Fortunately, we were able to repair them and our relationship is now stronger and deeper than ever. And it feels so good to see and experience how this works... I found it quite healing. It was hard at first but I came to realize that my T is...Read More...

Hey Lamplighter, I'm sorry for not posting more recently - my internet has been down. But I've been able to read a few your posts, and I'm so pleased to hear that you will still continue your search. Every one of the other posts are so right. You deserve to love and have compassion for yourself, and you deserve to find a T that will both help you realize this and reinforce that compassion with their own. Whenever you go to the next T, have you thought about talking about how tough your...Read More...

Echo, Luckily I had already read your post before you deleted it. It was not too ranty. I agree with Monte, but also wanted to say that I get where you are coming from. I have three kids and it is the same day, day after day. Sometimes it is just hard and when you feel like you don't have anyone to back you up or give you a break it can be so much harder. I don't know how old your children are, but kids are exhausting. As great as it is to be a Mom, it is one of the most exhausting and...Read More...

do let us know how your next session goes. You are not on your own (((((Don'tgiveuponme)))) starfishRead More...

Oooooh! LL here are some (((Hugs))) for you!Read More...

BB I finally made it back to comment properly on your amazing post. Firstly I’m pretty sure that no-one would ever think someone else is ‘overusing’ this forum - I suspect there are times when all of us post like mad for a bit and then sort of back off - besides if everybody got so reticent and scared to say too much what would there be to read? No it’s great that you are posting when you can - I learn so much from reading about your experiences and thoughts. Just had a thought about the not...Read More...

Losing my connection of the vividness of my past is to me a welcome relief! I have no problem letting go. I hope Jones you will begin to feel this way, and it builds momentum for you. It is exciting stuff. My T and I start EMDR again next week. Cant say I'm excited, but I know I have to do something to lessen the burden of the past if I am going to survive the present and future. I have a list I sent to him written before he took his long vacation. I am trying to decide if I want to tackle...Read More...

Hi Bobby, It's understandable that you're feeling all that. You allowed yourself to get close to someone and feel attached to them (a very healthy thing to do btw!) despite all your fears. And you got hurt. It's not the same thing that has happened to you in the past. Her leaving her practice isn't about you and I'm sure she's not enjoying what she's putting you through. But it's very understandable that the pain this is causing is bringing back all those messages that it's dangerous to let...Read More...