CT - I am so glad your session went so well. You are probably so relieved! Good for you! SmileyRead More...

Hi Janedoe! Thanks for posting this. I was hoping you were going to give us a more detailed update on how things went at your counseling program! What you said about needing to be grounded in Stage 1 skills before moving on to Stage 2 makes a TON of sense. The specifics of my experiences are different than yours, but I very much recognize that basic principle over and over again in what has worked for me. Not only that, but I would also agree that some "Stage 2" stuff can get worked through...Read More...

thanksRead More...

that's just really really nice. now you've got those words forever and you can look at them when you need to. I like having someone safe there when I cry too. I'm glad you have someone. take care - you are really precious and it's lovely to meet you.Read More...

Hi WLOH, Welcome to the boards. I lost a close friend to suicide a few years ago. I know others on here have been hurt by suicide too. It is a very particular and dreadful hurt. I'm so sorry. Glad you came here as part of your journey. Oh and I love what you say about that need to feel watched over. I have that need too, really strongly. To me it is the difference between being able to function in my life or not. I'd love to hear more about how it is for you. JonesRead More...

One day ata time, or one hour ata time, or one minute ata time if need be. Hang in there.Read More...

Echo to what BB said. Such a strong supportive person you are.Read More...

Hey there, WLOH! Welcome. Just wanted to wish you good luck at your session! I hope it doesn't resort to eating crushed glass and cockroaches.Read More...

Hi Em, I am going to agree with and support everyone's comments to you above. You were incredibly courageous to face your T after all that she did to you, and I am glad that she owned all of it and apologized. I can totally understand your feelings. My T 'cried' (teared up would be more accurate, but it was close to crying for her, as she is not emotional at all) once during a session where I read her a letter expressing how much hurt I felt over things she had done/not done and she...Read More...

Hi Dragonfly Bit late I know, only been able to pop in and out here the last week but just wanted to add to the other comments and say thank you too for posting your experiences on dissociation and especially DID. I still dissociate (a bit too much for my liking) but am relatively ignorant about what DID might be like to live with, so thank you for your openess and explanations. And no,I don't think it matters if any alters were to post here - just getting what needs to be said out is the...Read More...

I just wanted to pop in here and say this thread is just hysterical. Thanks for the laughs! I heard The Gambler on my way home the other night and started laughing. I don't think I'll ever be able to hear that song again without thinking about you, Jones. I'm ashamed to say I'm not as familiar with LOTR as all of you. But I really understand getting wisdom where you find it, so no worries, AG - I don't think anyone is going to shun you! Your love of LOTR sounds a lot like my love of the Clan...Read More...

Hi Jones and Helle, Thanks for your comments. Whew...yes, anger is seen as awful and is confounding ....until you recognize its good purpose and tap into it. It gives me phenomenal drive and energy and I know it can fuel awesome creative change. Why shouldn't we be totally pissed off? Why shouldn't we use that inner energy to help ourselves and others as we learn? Most of my anger comes from unmet childhood needs....and I believe there is nothing more powerful than these needs...so the anger...Read More...

Hey, sorry I have not been on here lately...things have been extremely crazy for me. I did see my psychiatrist yesterday and it went okay. I will get on later tonight and update with everything that is going on, but right now I have to go have dinner with a friend...but I am seriously about to loose it!Read More...

Well, I called the first number and left a message with the receptionist...we'll see how long it takes to get a call back. I also put in a call to a place that has lots of therapists in the office and set up an in-take appointment there. They are setting up an appointment for me with someone according to what I need, but we'll see how it goes. The good thing about this situation is that I can probably ask for a referral within the same office if I need to. However, I am not meeting with them...Read More...

Oh, and if any of you are interested in becoming members to this free site here is the link: endthestorm.webs.com Thank you!Read More...

lizzygirl, That's great you can still email him. It will give a sense of connection while he is away, and he may even reply, who knows? I would be as obsessed as you think you are, I would count down days till he comes back, I would be so anxious and would not feel entirely safe probably till he comes back.Read More...

I talked to my T yesterday about my Googling her and she said as clients we have a right to know about who we are thinking of seeing, especially since we're spilling our guts to them. I didn't tell her exactly what I know and she didn't ask me, although I asked her if it would bother her that I knew the names of her grandchildren that were in the photos behind me. I don't think she realized at first that I was telling her I actually KNEW their names, rather I think she thought that I was...Read More...

Well, I am happy to say that it went well! No BB, I didn't rip the sign off the wall , as it actually sits in a plate holder on a console table. It's a 12" x 12" ceramic tile with vinyl lettering and it was given to her by her colleagues when she moved offices from the building across the street (where her office was in the basement) to the hospital (where she has a fancy corner office with windows on two walls). I'd be in BIG TROUBLE if I did anything to that sign. I did ask her what it...Read More...

(((incognito))) How incredibly brave of you to go back and talk to your T!! I'm so glad you were able to do that and are feeling somewhat better. AGRead More...

Echo- I just read your reply- we think alike. (That could be very scary for you- as my mind is often a scary place to be. I only bought my T figs and an apple. We didn't discuss it. He ate them. (AG would make a good T as well. Monte- I wont use your name, and what do you mean by stuff?Read More...

Good - well done. Keep at it smiley starfishRead More...

Monte, oh yes, the code of ethics contract... I suppose he has to oblige to some insurance policy and therefore has not much choice... but I hope with the right reason, right situation he would offer physical comfort. I know that my T was reading I. Yalom who advises to touch patients/clients. He refused to hug me recently, and I felt devasted. However he said it doesn't mean that he will never ever hug me again. I think he has his own agenda, that I don't understand. It's quite painfull at...Read More...

Hey MTF, I'm glad you were able to clear the air a little bit with her, and I'm glad that you're going to stay with her. As tumultuous as all of this has been, so long as you both stay open and committed, I think this will make your bond even stronger, and you'll feel much more secure with her in the long run. Let us know how your next session goes!Read More...

Hi Mic, Sorry to hear that you are suffering. Sometimes therapy is so damn hard, but sticking with it especially through the tough times(as I sit here contemplating taking a break- because it is tough for me too right now). I can also relate to the dependency thing, and the sister thing, and the not wanting to contact your therapist, and the not allowing people to get to know me, but not the anorexic thing. All I can tell you is- overall I am much better at the friend thing and I can feel...Read More...

Thank you for the feedback, Blackbird and Seablue. It means a lot that you would read the post and take time to comment :-) I will try another session with this person and see where it goes. I will definitely keep "moving on from T #1" as a goal and will check out this cool forum now and again.Read More...