I think, for me, I also find that reading all of this doesn't necessarily comfort me, but it tides me over for a while so that I can try and stay patient while I try to understand things better. I completely identify with this. I'm really only starting to see the "different" in these past few months. A couple weeks ago, I visited my father, and he went into a totally random rage about something and told me to shut up, and not even 2 minutes later, he was joking, and I was laughing with him.Read More...

Lizzygirl... I think safe touch in therapy can be very effective as another way of communicating. A sort of non-verbal emphasis to what your T wants to say to you. I think what he did was very powerful because you heard his message about cutting both verbally in your logical left brain and also you "felt it" through his touch and that message got delivered through your senses to your right emotional brain. I'm so glad you took the step to share this with him via email. It's important that he...Read More...

Hi IHTS Yes, I believe they do screen folks for this course but they may be able to suggest alternatives if this particular course doesn't suit you. And I agree, it also looks er...a rather robust approach. My T suggested it to me as a possible addition/kickstart to dealing with some anger issues of mine. However, I'm not so sure though that I'd be any good, trapped in a group environment, for 8 whole days. I'm a born skeptic still coming to terms with my prejudices about the idea of being...Read More...

Hi Lamplighter... I'm so glad to hear that reading the posts here has helped you in your therapy and in understanding the process. I don't think Ts really tell you this stuff but it's vital to healing. I like to remind people that the relationship IS the therapy... especially in patients who have had attachment injuries and trauma histories. Where we have suffered and been hurt is through interpersonal relationships. Usually with our parents/caregivers and so the only way to heal is to...Read More...

Jones hello again Wow your parents are going through the process of sorting themselves out! That is pretty amazing, and it’s great that they are changing for the better - it’s also great that you can say you love them and are proud of them, that says to me that you are able to feel good towards them despite the hurt and damage they did to you. That’s a pretty big deal. For me I’m a bit the opposite - totally unable to access any positive feelings about any of my family, because I’m stuck in...Read More...

Hi SB: Sorry I never did respond to your reply. That whole experience with my T was a major trip and for four days afterward I was still "processing" the whole thing. Weird. I just kept having my T's face popping into my head with her eyes full of tears and the feelings that brought up for me during the whole experience would resurface and flood over me and I had a really hard weekend. My T ended up calling me Tuesday to see how I was doing, and that helped to stop all of that from happening...Read More...

Dragonfly Heard all the excuses before but never blamed it on gills in the rectum !!! Not possible to beat apart from that I eat by putting 1 of my 2 stomachs outsidee of my body . . . .not something I should be proud of!! So won't tell my T about the lack of a centralised - brain but she probably knows I have a prickly armour for protection . . .it's served me quite well (but sometimes I do wish I could shed it!) starfishRead More...

Thank you so much for the encouraging words, Dragonfly. It means so much. My situation isn't that of a trauma or anything, but it's more like I'm trying to get rid of all of the walls that I've built up for so long due to my parents. In a way, I'm finding that much of my time with my parents may have involved significant emotional neglect, but it's the neglect itself that has kept me from recognizing it for what it is! Go figure. Anyway, I write all of that to say that I can recognize what...Read More...

Hey there Blackbird I too wish there were some kind of litmus test of a T’s caring, a kind of formal checklist of things they have to complete in order to be deemed trustworthy. Having said that I’m the kind of client who if I had Mother Teresa sitting opposite me I’d still be checking her out for trustworthiness. Knowing that about me, I tend to make myself give the T the benefit of the doubt (at least for a while!) and just assume he is caring and trustworthy, until proven otherwise.Read More...

Going to chime in here too, I noticed the other day that one of Monte’s posts had gone but didn’t realize she’d deleted others as well. Am writing this too because there’s a chance Monte might still read the forum, so if you are, please don’t disappear, at least let us know that you are ok?Read More...

Hi Smiley! Love the name!! <-- that's how I picture you!! lol! Sorry to hear that you are in the same poor-eye contact boat... but I'm glad you are finding this thread helpful! I gave my t my letter about eye contact today... about how I'm scared of it and I avoid it and how I'm afraid she's going to be affected by it, etc, etc,etc. She said that she doesn't want me to try and make myself look at her... that it's not something she wants me to force myself to do. She said she will always...Read More...

{{{{{echo}}}}} I'm so sorry, echo. This only happened to me once, and it was a very different scenario, not a "quiet" session...but still, it hurt my feelings when he said it, and I left the session feeling very sad and disappointed. IMO, this is one of the things T's should never say. Unless, maybe, if the fire alarm is going off. And even then, they should offer to continue the session at a safe distance from the flames, at a discreet distance from the crowd. In other words, it is probably...Read More...

Thanks CH, My T and I have never talked about contact between sessions so i just thought she didnt allow it lol She did say although i didnt phone her it was important that i told her that i wanted to, so glad i did HevRead More...

Halo, Yuck. Sorry you are feeling so badly. I was on Effexor for about 9 mos then weaned off. The side effects for me were dizziness, nausea similar to motion sickness or morning sickness in pregnancy. Also had brain zaps (don't know how else to describe them, hopefully you know what I'm talking about), and I remember feeling more anger and irritability. The worst of it lasted 2-3 weeks and they were completely gone by around 6 weeks. I did not switch to another med, so not sure how that...Read More...

Yeah, I continued seeing my P after that up until he retired. It actually spurred us to start therapy because he didn't know me too well at that point, and it was pretty clear I needed more then just drugs. Good luck with your appointment, I hope you can get things sorted out ok.Read More...

Thank you all so much for taking the time to offer me support. It REALLY helps. Just to know I am not crazy and alone makes all the difference. I met with my T yesterday and again we talked about how scared I am to be apart from her. She is so understanding and attuned to me and my fears that I in some way feel guilty that I'm such a wreck and she has to be so worried and sad for me. I know that probably sounds weird, but I am the queen of guilt and find ways to be guilty over just about...Read More...

Here is how I learned about God- I think: Matthew 18:10 states, “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” In the context, “these little ones” could either apply to those who believe in Him (v. 6) or it could refer to the little children (vs. 3-5). This is the key passage regarding guardian angels. There is no doubt that good angels help protect (Daniel 6:20-23; 2 Kings 6:13-17), reveal...Read More...

Hi JaneDoe So good to hear from you and know you are ok. How good too to have such positive reactions from your dear friends back home. That must send you on your journey with a deal of comfort. Glad you have computer access and freedom to keep your individuality - and those important comfort items that make us feel safe. Take care and allow the people there to help as they can and maybe let yourself be looked after and nurtured for a while. starfishRead More...

Hi Emogirl, My therapist was originally trained in Cognitive Behavorial Therapy (CBT) and he still uses some principles but I would identify his approach as eclectic. He has been practicing for around 30 years and reads constantly to stay up on advances in the field. It's definitely psychodynamic and he uses a lot of Kohut's principles. We have based most of our work together on attachment theory and he's very excited about mindfulness and Interpersonal Neurobiology. But the most important...Read More...

I too Lamplighter would like info on this, but I am more the opposite. I hate confrontation, especially with the one who is causing the angst. If my T is causing an issue- I end up talking about anything and everything else- eventhough he tells me it is ok if I am angry at him, all he asks is that I be gentle. It is still very hard to talk to the person who is the source of my angry feelings. Kudos to youRead More...

Hello Starfish, thanks for your reply - and I really relate to how you describe the childlike state - that now makes a whole lot of sense to me. A week ago I wouldn’t have known what you were talking about, I suppose that constitutes progress :grins: Actually had a session today where I tried to explain this whole not understanding words/needing responses tailored more to a child than an adult to T. He certainly got the child connection (as I thought he would, it being always worth ten gold...Read More...

LG I too would agree with my learned friends above!! I have learned very slowly that I have to be VERY specific about exactly what I want to talk about and in what depth. I used to give vague statements about how something was difficult for me and then get frustrated that my T never took it further but now I realise that more of it has to come from me. She has to know I am willing and ready to go to that place and then will walk with me 100%. LG maybe your T needs that confirmation, sex can...Read More...

Hey BB, Just gave a little update over at the EMDR thread (in Stories & Personal Accounts). First EMDR will be next week, it turns out, but I'm having trouble deciding on 'targets'. Also, my T is leaving in a few months, which is a bit distracting! Thanks for asking. JRead More...

Hugs MTF, I wanted you to know I think it is very honest of you to admit to all your emotions for T, the positive and the negative. Good luck in your session.Read More...

I am just back from being out of town for a while and saw your post. I wanted to reply because my past relationships with men have caused me great angst and I think is a big issue for me in therapy. I too had only 2 important relationships with men, but mine were more long term. The first one lasted 3 and a half years. It ended with me falling completely apart, and really never recovering. Thus the second relationship was never really truly intimate and committed, even though I was married...Read More...