J, at the end of my last session I started to mildly dissociate and my T brought it to my attention by saying, "You've gone someplace else. What is it? Do you want to talk about it?" It was only then that I realized I was rocking myself. I must have been acting child-like. I wasn't too far gone though because I was able to both comprehend her words and reply back to her. I said, "No, our time is up." (I thought this would get me off the hook.) She said, "It's OK. I invite you to talk about...Read More...

Hi Amazon I'm seeing a CBT Therapist, but not really doing CBT as of yet. I've only seen her three times so far and all we've talked about (other than getting to know my family history)is the transference. Is it working?? Not yet .. but she is trying to help me with it. After the holidays I imagine it will become more intense and I'll let you know how it goes. Merry Christmas HolzRead More...

Hey Halo I had told my P that I was attracted to her about 8 months before I quit. She's a Jekyll/Hyde person so at first she smiled and blushed then it was like she shook it off and became very brash with me. I don't think that it affected our therapy (which wasn't good anyway) but we never spoke of it again. I do feel much the same as you do .. I can't even drive in the area of her office without feeling a pull to go and see her, and the pain that comes with not being able to. I've even...Read More...

Wow, thanks, you guys. I take a step out of hiding and get virtually tackled. You really know how to make a girl feel welcome! *GROUP HUG* (((Summer, Mad Hatter, KS, Jones, Hummingbird, echo, Amazon, everybody else ))) It really is fun how your names just naturally come up when I’m talking to my T. It’s like you are intertwined with me and there’s no getting around it. So you know you really do make a difference to me, you all help me so much that you’ve become a part of me. Thanks for...Read More...

hi hb and jones, i have been bouncing around in my head and trying to get a handle on myself for a while now. sometimes i feel like everything is crystal clear and at other times it is muddy water that im swimming in. i sometimes feel that i am on the verge of discovering something yet cannot quite find the right words, know them or see enough to reach something. thats probably why i need therapy, to have someone nudge me in the right direction to get there to that moment of clarity where i...Read More...

Well, thanks HB, at least I know I'm on the right track. But then I don't want to be on the right track because that leads eventually to the end of the road and not seeing him anymore! Well, thanks anyway. I will try to enjoy and make the most of the wacky therapy worldRead More...

Thanks, HB, it does feel very special. It's particularly strong because it feels like this approach, this way of managing the separation, was so perfectly tailored for *me*, it maybe wouldn't have worked for others but it was a result of her hearing what I needed and what I could handle. Yesterday I came home with waves of crossness for her having gone away at all, and that's subsided into feelings of just wanting to *snuggle in* to the relationship as I think about all the ways she cared...Read More...

TN - Right now I am trying to get brave enough to move closer to my T. She seems to be encouraging of this, but I would freak if she moved away as soon as I moved closer. I am so glad for you that you not only confronted your T, but that you recognized it wasn't you that was the problem. I think some of us blame ourselves for our T's shortcomings by saying to ourselves that since they are the expert then surely it must be ourselves where the problem lies. Perhaps this is often true, but not...Read More...

HB... I'm so sorry that I have been missing in action lately. I know that you are going through a rough patch and I have not been here to support you. I just wanted to say that I think you are handling things in your usual graceful and classy way. The story you wrote touched me deeply because I understand so well your journey as it mirrors mine in many ways. I wanted to ask you how you knew all those things about me. I think, though, that it was your description of meeting that "stranger"...Read More...

Welcome, Emma! I'm glad you took the step to introduce yourself and share some of your story. I know it can be really scary but I think you will find that you're among friends. It sounds like it's hard for you to make connections with others. I have that problem too. But the good thing is now that you've taken the first step here, you can keep practicing with us by continuing to post and maybe, eventually, it will help build the courage to make connections with people around you. SGRead More...

Wow, Halo - this is fantastic to read! You were so strong with saying all the things you needed to say. It sounds like the whole session was an incredible release. I love that you are working towards closure on the issues with this relationship, while also taking care of yourself by working with a new P. Way to go. JRead More...

Amazon, Before I start, let me say that my T is a female, I have never had a male T - don't think there ever was/is a time that I would feel safe. So, I have never experienced the "being in love with my T", but I do love my T and want her to be the one to nurture me and help me grow. Okay... Being more outspoken is a good thing! One thing that I would like to comment on is this... I donot believe it is a T's intention for us to become dependent upon them, but I do believe that they know it...Read More...

pippi... I know how hard it is and how the anxiety can ramp up before a session, especially one in which you need to discuss painful and scary things. I think your plan is a good one... to tell him as soon as you walk in how scared you are and how hard this is but that you wrote down a lot of really honest and raw thoughts that you need him to be aware of. Just to be able to write it down was a brave thing to do and I'm sure you will handle the session just fine. I just wanted you to know...Read More...

Hi HBShadow, I totally agree that a certain T and a certain approach can be a good fit for one person and not for another. But you also mention "trust", "nagging doubts", and "getting hurt in the same way". Were these two others disappointed because his approach didn't work for them? Or did they get hurt because they couldn't trust him, because he betrayed them? For me, those would be two very different situations. The first one wouldn't concern me, as long as that T's approach was working...Read More...

Guys, off topic question.. Which is correct? "transference object" or "object of transference" ThanksRead More...

He kept asking me some dodgy questions, like how I felt about him cancelling a session, and I was like "whatever, now I will go somewhere and miss a session too". I was going to visit a friend one weekend and I would have to miss a session. But then I added very quickly, that I can arrange my trip that way, so I won't miss a session. He wanted to know why would I be bothered with missing a session. I didn't want to cause any trouble to him, but he wanted to know why not. So I was thinking...Read More...

Amazon, I think this can happen in many ways. One or both of his parents can send the message that "big boys don't cry," and then of course he could get this idea at school or around other kids. Kids are incredibly cruel, and they were cruel to me for sure. If you're a quiet reserved kid like I was, you are most certainly going to be picked on and called all sorts of names and be accused of being a fag, etc, etc. And if you feel it's not OK to cry, then it all just turns to anger. I also...Read More...

I am new to this board but this topic hit home for me and I wanted to share my story. I have been seeing my T for three and a half years now and I have struggled with dependency issues for quite some time, I'm not sure how long though. At one point, I flat out asked her not to give up on me, I was really going through a rough patch at the time. Lately though, I'm feeling this creep up on me again. I have some issues I need to address pertaining to my therapy and I am so scared to do this. I...Read More...

Hey Amazon! Sorry to hear about your rough session... it always is challenging to have a rough session after an amazing one! [QUOTE]Originally posted by Amazon: As for writing things down - we've been there. I wrote a lot. I gave him some 30 pages already (I think) and have another notebook full. First time I handed him some notes, I didn't want him to read them in front of me, so he read them after the session. Next session he asked if we can go back and read them. There's no way I would. I...Read More...

CT, You are just a babe... But sometimes, us old fogies can learn something from the young'ns... And I totally understand the being depressed part and also the "lurkdom" (I spent almost 5 months lurking)... I have to say, my suicide attempts were pre-marraige. Well, for the most part. Some say my anorexia was an indirect attempt (which is true to a degree) and I suffered with that until just about 10 years ago. For the most part, I have never been away from my boys. I think just recently I...Read More...

Hi Mrs P, so good to see you posting again. I have processed quite a lot of stuff since I saw him. I have realized it in my head and in my heart that he is a really selfish man - not just a selfish and cruel therapist. I am not supposed to know anything about him as a person but sadly I know far too much about him and what I know I don't like. How are you travelling? I hope you are feeling better. Halo That has made it a lot easier for me to make the break from him. If I hadn't gone back I...Read More...

Hi Scott, There are no words to comfort you so all I can say is that I hope you have lots of support around you and we're always here if you need to talk or just wanna read some threads that you feel might help. It's definitely gonna take time as the cliche goes but I have found it's true from loved ones I've lost. It'll never be the same but it becomes a bit easier. Hugs and love, Mrs. PRead More...

Hi all. Totally addicted to the show as i think I mentioned earlier. When I found the links online I watched every day for as long as I could until the episodes ran out. I loved the storylines and spent my time analysing Paul and the patients! It's amazing how much you pick up from going to therapy! I loved Paul's manner-i.e. facial expressions and body language. I mean throughout the series I think he makes a lot of mistakes-particularly with laura but then I can see a lot of good work he...Read More...

Hi KS, Sorry I'm posting back so late. I agree that this site is great for support and has lots of very kind and considerate people. I find it very hard to keep up with all of the threads too! Sometimes I see so much that I want to reply to with a meaningful response but it's just too overwhelming. So my advice to you is to do what you can and try to get the best out of what's on offer here. Take care, Mrs. PRead More...

Hi Shannon, I'd like to answer your question, but it's very broad and hard to get a handle on. I don't know, for a start, if my culture is 'different' to yours! And I'm not sure if and how those differences would affect a counselling situation or not. The thing about cultural values and beliefs is that they don't seem 'different' to those that hold them - they just seem like normality. Maybe if you have particular culture or situation you could ask about, that would help people to respond.Read More...