Yup, I've got this one too. Chocolate chip ice cream with malt powder is my #1 comfort food, followed by anything crispy and salty (chips, popcorn, french fries). My weight has yo-yo'd up and down by 40 pounds since my second daughter was born 6 years ago. I have the most success with Weight Watcher's points program and have managed to keep most the weight off...at least the top 20lbs...but I definitely eat from an emotional place. I haven't lost weight as a result of therapy except the...Read More...

First, Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate. And a Happy Day to everyone else! I, unfortunaely, am not in a very thankful mood. But if was, I would be thankful for... Forget it, I just typed about 3 lines and thought - I really do not feel that way right now. Maybe I will be able to express things later. KSRead More...

Hi mlc, I posted a similar question once on another thread. The only difference is, I was asking because I didn't feel the hate part, but a lot of fear instead. But I got some answers that might be helpful to you. Just in case you haven't found it yet, here's the link to that thread: The love-hate flip-flop And here's a more in-depth explanation of feelings evoked in therapy. It's a link to the Guide to Psychology website that I've found very helpful. You might have to scroll down maybe a...Read More...

Hello, A., and welcome to the forums! By the way, you are the 200th registered member. There really should be some kind of virtual prize for that. I don't have a lot of advice other to say that if it were me, I would take the opportunity for closure while I have it. Especially because it sounds like she has helped you. Perhaps she might have some ideas on how to help you transition to another T. Is it possible she has some connections with other T's in the area you're moving to and could...Read More...

SG, I think your story could be anybody else's story as well. Things didn't work out, but if it was any of us in your shoes, it probably would go the same. I also fear termaination, I can't imagine I would have to leave now or anytime. However I think that we are all like children with Them, and a child can't bear the thought of not being with the parent anymore. People who have good parents don't stop loving them when they grow up, but they are ready to leave, be away from their parents. I...Read More...

AG, actually that helps a lot. This transference topic has been really fuzzy in my mind. Right now I can relate to the ambivalence that you talked about of wanting to move closer, yet being afraid, and just feeling crazy out-of-control in not understanding why I am obsessing over it. I am so glad you take the time to share what you have learned over the years. I wish I could get to where I need to be by osmosis of your posts and not have to learn it all the hard way!Read More...

Hi Dharma and welcome to the Board. You pose very interesting questions and I have read all of the responses. I don't think there is any easy answer to this. I have been seeing my T for two years now and the thought of ever leaving him terrifies me and sends me into tears of grief. It's even hard for me to read this thread. I don't agree with the article you quoted and I don't believe there really has to be a final good-bye when you leave. So for me, if I ever get to the point where I leave...Read More...

Thank you both for your replies. First off, I do not take any offense to any advice given. I appreciate any advice, and the thought behind it. Attachment Girl - we were both young when we met, I was 15, he was 18. We, or at least I, wasnt thinking long term at the time. We just kinda grew together, and moulded to each others lifestyles, and have not been apart since. The reason I married him is because he is an amazing man. He makes me feel very secure. He is a good provider, and a very...Read More...

I really admire the fact that you went through the steps of recovering alcoholic. I wish my father could do that, but alcohol is too important for him. He probably will never give it up. His father was also alcoholic, somebody before him probably as well. My sister is not in therapy but she would like to do something about her low self-esteem and lack of confidence. These would be her main issues.Read More...

I recently had this conversation with my T! I have a male T and I chose a male T deliberately because I don't trust women professionals and never use women for anything in my life, doctors, dentists, accountants, lawyers etc. If I go down the names in the yellow pages I just immediatlely skip all female names and won't even consider them. I'm not sure why either. I can only think that it is due to my abusive relationship with my mother. I have also worked as a subordinate under female...Read More...

Sorry River for taking over your topic a bit, but it just raised some questions in my head, maybe if I can get them answered I will have some courage to tell things to my T. I did tell my T that I love him, but before I did it I explained things to myself and understood that he doesn't love me and I can't expect that he would, and I made myself believe that I don't need that as long as I can love him, see him, and be able to tell him about my feelings. I don't know if it works that way.Read More...

Hi Halo, I'm sorry Halo, I forgot that your T was having such trouble holding the boundaries. That's incredibly crucial to working through transference. My T was incredibly compassionate and very emotionally accessible through all this but his boundaries were also very clear and very steady. It was confusing enough working through my feelings with him holding still. I can't imagine being able to do it if he hadn't held still. I hope the new P can hold still for you so you can work through...Read More...

Hey Amazon, it's a good thing Very Very good thing. I admire your T. Of course some clients will google thier T's If you can't find any information about your T on the internet. It's best for clients. + if your T wants full privacy, he wouldn't put anything about himself on-line anyways...Read More...

Wow, wow, wow. What a great response. And what great honesty from you! I have to admit that I am completely and utterly jealous! I would have loved my T to say something like that. The closest to it for me was when he said, with great emphasis, "I KNOW you". It was as if it hit me right at my very core. I still think about it now. I feel like he walks around with a part of me with him. I think about him everyday and a number of times. I think about him in a parental manner,the manner of a...Read More...

I just found this thread today. I know it isn't that old, but it was still before I joined the forum. I am so increasingly overwhelmed with this love-hate battle towards my T in my mind that I don't think I can articulate it right now. But I just wanted to thank those who have posted their experiences on this thread because you have described it better than I ever could, and it helps knowing I am not the only one -- that maybe I am not going to disintegrate and maybe I am not becoming...Read More...

Thanks, AG! I hadn't thought of this as a sign of my healing at all, but it is very encouraging to hear you say that, especially because it brings to mind other posts of yours where you've described short times of feeling clearer coming more often and staying longer. That gives me a lot of hope. Thank you! SGRead More...

MH That's awesome that you took such a risk and showed that letter to your T. I know how scary that can be and it was very courageous of you to give it to her. I'm even happier that your T reacted so well and that you were able to find out that your perceptions were wrong. This kind of disruption and repair are a really important part of the healing that happens in therapy. You should be really proud of yourself. AGRead More...

Hi MH, My first T was a woman and in the course of our work together (which stretched over a span of 20+ years on and off) she revealed to me that she had also suffered CSA. She definitely shared it to help me not feel so alone and to not be ashamed of myself for what was done to me. I understand you being worried but there's something very important that would be extremely hard to get on a "gut" level from where you are now. Once someone has worked through their issues and feelings about...Read More...

Thanks for sharing more about your experiences, Deja Vu. You have had some pretty unusual and difficult circumstances in therapy and I'm sorry to hear about all the pain it has put you through. A good friend and I were just talking the other night about how dogs are so wonderful, because where else can you get that much unconditional love? So I just had to smile at this: SGRead More...

Hi Jones, thank you. Your words have brought me a lot of comfort.Read More...

Hi Deja Vu - I get that hesitation too - it frustrates me! something my T did that really helped was to tell me she thought that silence was my way of getting space that I needed, and that it was an important part of our work. Weirdly, since she said that, I haven't struggled for words anywhere near as much! I wonder if your 'inability' to talk is protecting you too - while you gather the information you need to establish trust. Sounds like you went through such a rough time losing your P in...Read More...

Hi River- I don't think we have ever talked, but I had to comment on that priceless picture. If my t cancelled an appointment, I would have to fire him...again. Thanks for making me smile, and I get to practice that pout- that was a good idea shrinklady.Read More...

Thanks, MH! And I didn't think there was anything wrong with what you said about interacting with a particular gender. That's been on my mind a lot anyway so I wanted to discuss it and I'm glad you brought it up. I hope your session goes well today! SGRead More...

Very well put. Our former couples T and my current T told me that I'm "persistent" and "assertive" in asking for what I need. As if there was some kind of virtue in it. My response was, what else am I going to do? I have no where else to go. Better words for my persistence might be "driven by pain". But that's usually what it takes for me to make changes. SGRead More...