Hi Russ, Thanks for your post, that was really cool. It's really interesting to think of that rubber fog as a resistance thing - I hadn't considered that at all. It's hard to imagine that I am in control of that, though I know subconsciously I must be. Yes, I totally want to figure it all out! You should see me on the internet, looking up things that might have been mentioned or implied... actually, that's how I ended up on this message board. I guess I'm scared if I don't keep a few steps...Read More...

Hi Amazon. I'm not in your situation but I think you shouldn't be so hard and demanding of yourself. I'm sure you're upset and worried about the whole situation and I hope you're ok. All I can say is that my relationship with my ex looked so so different once i started going to therapy. I didn't go to therapy until well after we'd broken up but it gave me great insight into why I did the things I did in the relationship. I don't know if I could've gotten that clarity while still in the...Read More...

Hi Curious. I have to agree with Russ. I'm having the opposite feelings to you at the moment, I just can't cry really. So when I actually do it's a huge relief, it feels good. But at the moment I can't and I don't know why. So I guess things are different for everyone but right now I'm envious of your uncontrollable crying! Sorry that I don't have something more constructive to say. Take care! Mrs. PRead More...

Hello Hal, and welcome. I had a similar experience with my T being insensitive about something. (thought I had let it go) Then a few more small things happened; I let those go too. These little things began to erode the relationship, and he picked up on it. With rejection being my huge weakness, I was afraid to be honest. When we finally talked, and I was able to share all of it, he sincerely apologized, and our relationship became stronger- much stronger. This may not be your situation at...Read More...

Hi Summer, Couldn't have said it better myself. This forum is full of people who are so insightful and the help given to people who are struggling with their therapy is so valuable. What a fantastic way to think about this experience. I keep telling myself that to go back to my exT would be such a waste of energy, emotion and money. I have spent thousands too and it has been more damaging than therapeutic. Thanks Summer.Read More...

AG, I appreciate knowing you have had all these same feelings. I am so glad for you that you have the relationship with your T that you do. That is what I would personally hope for myself. I imagine that it takes a special T person to be as available to their clients as what we sometimes need them to be. I don't think all Ts are up to the task. I'm trying to figure out if mine is, without getting hurt in the process. How can one know when it is, or is not, safe to move towards someone? Very...Read More...

Hi Mrs Prufrock, Thanks so much for the welcome. Yeah, a brain-holiday would be really nice! Often when I'm doing lots of anxious-thinking (and thinking about the thinking, and thinking about the thinking about the thinking) I can't see where it's coming from. Maybe learning more about the feelings will help. I also find I can interrupt it with exercise, dancing (my passion!) and sometimes other stuff. Can't always do this, but sometimes.... hope you get comfy with the therapist soon. JRead More...

Hi Mrs. P, TYVM for your welcome here and for your kind words! I sincerly believe that all who frequent these forums all have strength and courage & that everyone's stories are an inspiration to all concerned! Ty so much for you're condolences!Read More...

Hi Halo, Mrs. P said it beautifully so I'd like to second what she said. You are really hanging in there and I'm so glad you are starting to feel better. Keep up the good work, and keep posting! Hugs, SGRead More...

I feel that way and have been feeling that way even more since I got mad at my psychiatrist last week. I am scared to death of loosing the love I have for him and what will happen when it does change and how I will feel at that time. Right now because I am so consumed with the love I have for him I cant imagine ever feeling anything different. And when that love is taken away I will feel empty and lost because I wont know how to feel anymore. I havent been honest with my psychiatrist about...Read More...

Thanks, Summer. I know you know how this feels and I always appreciate your support and encouragement. What is so frustrating about these emotional down-swings is that I do realize, on an intellectual level, that the abrupt ending was due to his weaknesses. All I have to do is look at all the great responses here, and the way my new T is doing things, and compare them to my journal of sessions with my former T. Unlike your T, he was good about not letting us chat for too long. Which was...Read More...

Hi everyone... I just wanted to post a further update to my story. But first I want to thank everyone for their suggestions an support. And HB... I could never be angry with you! As I mentioned on Monday night I got an email from my T that I didn't answer but I did call him on Wednesday morning and ask for a half session. I hate when I'm upset with him and feel that he is upset with me too. I'm not one to let it sit and so I called and he scheduled me for that afternoon. We calmly sat and...Read More...

Hi Summer - This sounds like something I could use. I will check it out. Thanks! (And I think it was Echo who mentioned it a while back - thank you too, Echo!) SGRead More...

Hi True North, I just saw your thread and wanted to add a few words about anxiety in therapy. I was sorry to hear your therapist was putting so much pressure on you. I have never found the need to suggest to clients that they go on meds for anxiety. A number of my clients come to see me on meds already and that's fine but I just couldn't imagine - with the tools we have now - that there'd be a need for meds for anxiety (Although - I might add - there could always be a first time). Of course,...Read More...

Hi Amazon. Well done! You are a much stronger person than I am. From what you've said you've had an inkling about those feelings for a while. I don't know how strong they are in comparison to mine but even though I went back to my ex-T in order to bring some closure on such feelings, I just couldn't spell it out. I was too hard. I love(d) him too much, I felt too embarrassed to tell him my "silly, imaginary" feelings. I just didn't and still don't think they're realistic and yet it still...Read More...

Hi herewego I also do read your posts. I don't reply because I'm afraid that I may say something stupid and I see that you do feel a lot of pain and anger towards that guy. Besides, I don't know what went on. You can vent here as much as you want. I do it too. However I don't think my venting here about how much I love my therapist is any constructive. But I know in the past I needed something like that website a lot more....Read More...

Hi sarah what a small world. I wonder if we had a same counsellor. I see you in here, and my counsellor gave me the other web site address and I saw you there too. Or you could be another Sarah brown. Are you still going to e-expert site? I didn't post there much because I thought my counsellor was trying to mess up my head. I know, I know I am pretty obssesed with him and paranoid and distorted... well, you don't know me but I thought you were the same Sarah brown from e-expert. never mind~ :PRead More...

You've got a great attitude and a strong heart, morningglory. Thank you for reminding me of something I often forget, that I can be proactive instead of reactive. This is something I really need to work on. It's a pleasure to have met you on this board. SGRead More...

Thanks Mrs P, your kind words mean so much to me. I have made a decision and I am not going back. This is so difficult for me. I am going to text him to cancel when I have coffee with my close friend who is a counsellor on Tues. I see my dr twice a week and my friend once a week. I know I am very blessed to have such fantastic support from my dr and friends and from this forum. Sadly I am in a very low place at the moment and I am very focused on just getting through the next few weeks.Read More...

Hi HB, You mentioned on another thread that your big move is in progress, or close to it. I hope everything goes smoothly and quickly for you and that you feel peaceful and settled in your new digs. I'll be thinking about you. Peace, SGRead More...

Hi curious, That is so cool that your T made a "pact" with you. And for what it's worth, I do not think it is stupid to say "I miss you and need to hear your voice." AG has posted about calling her T numerous times for reassurance much like this. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Whether you call or not, the most important thing to do is talk to your T about it when she gets back. Be gentle with yourself, okay? SGRead More...

Hello everyone, I just wanted to post here to say "thank you" to everyone for the condolences on my Grama. This year has been a hard one for deaths in the family - first my FIL in May, then my Grampa in June, and now my Grama (his wife, not a different Grama). And my Grama on my dad's side and my Grampa's sister are not in good health, either. A whole generation seems to be disappearing in a short amount of time, and it is sad, and disorienting. So thank you for thinking of me. SGRead More...

Hi Incognito...and others too. I just want to say that I'm thinking about you and how hard that last session must've been. I can empathise with the need for reassurance constantly and the feelings of neediness. I went through a very similar thing with my ex-T.I avoided sending him emails as much as I could....I like very very clear boundaries as I can read into everything, no matter how small. I preferred not to test the boundaries because I knew I would keep pushing them. And my T was very...Read More...