Thanks for the response TN...as for the tears, I'm not really sure. I just know that I can't cry even though I want to. The only place I get close is with my T. The whole day has been one black cloud. Though lots of cooking and baking have helped take my mind off it. Just trying to use up the hours before I go to bed.Read More...

QueenGrey, Yes I can relate very well to this, and my T had the same reaction- "awesome" Let me teel you a bit about myself first. --- I am a Christian, and after doing my morning reading, prayer, meditation- I sit with my journal on my lap- with specific spiritual questions in mind (sometimes I write them in my journal) After praying for clarity, I begin to write. The results oftentimes are revealing. When I ask where this information is coming from- the answer is- "I am the one you call...Read More...

Hi, and thanks for this topic. I appreciate everyones comments. I am truly learning a lot. I tried EMDR after researching it quite extensively, but when it came right down to working it, I could not find a safe place- which is one of the preliminary steps. My T and I tried it a few months later, but It did not work for me, and I did laugh a little. I just think it scared me too much. I really like the idea of it though. It seemed as if it would help me uncover some forgotten- repressed ugly...Read More...

I too have quite a bit of trouble in this area. I told the T- my T that I don't do dependency. I was feeling scared that I was becoming dependent on him, his response was that in my case being dependent was ok for a while and that through that , I will grow. I did not agree, but I tried it. He has been very supportive. It seems as though I am practicing on him. This practice is allowing me to form friendships- attachments to others without feeling so threatened. My relationship with my T is...Read More...

Thank you AG for posting the link and sharing about your journey. What you have endured is horrific and I empathize with some of your pain. It is a gift to us all that you are strong enough to let God use what you have been through to help fellow travelers. I had no idea this path wold take me where it has or that it would be so hard or take so long. I am absolutely terrified of what I see on the path ahead of me. The fear is great right now but when the pain is greater, I will need to vent...Read More...

Hi all....slightly off topic post but just wondering if any of you have had any experience with Lexapro? I was prescribed it 3 months ago (10mg) dose. I've come to the end of the course now and after discussing it with my T he recommended going up a dosage for now. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. Though my T does seem to be quite wary of giving anti-D's the ok so I think he's not taking the decision lightly.Read More...

(((((lonelyinhiding))))) I second crazy lady's post...what you said really touched me too. You did the right thing in reaching out; I hope you keep posting and let us know more about you. Whatever is going on with you, you will very likely find at least one person here who has gone through that, too, and hopefully you will find that you don't have to be hiding in loneliness anymore I also lived with certain problems for many years because the few tentative attempts I made to get help were...Read More...

Thanks SG for sharing your music with me. I too have two daughters, and yes I agree with AG, and HB because on occasion my daughters have mentioned that they too are learning from my struggles and they applaud my successes. (Sometimes they roll their eyes though- but that is the teen thing)We are closer because of the process. My younger daughter is a source of strength, so I am copying and pasting one song for her. Thanks AllRead More...

Thanks for your replies. I had my session tonight but couldn't tell him about my feelings. I did manage to tell him that I was avoiding talking to him so he didn't learn too much from me so I answer his questions in as few words as possible. I also told him I enjoyed when he got something wrong. Eventually I admitted there was something I wanted to tell him but I wanted to figure it out before I talked about it, I wanted to understand it and all the ramifications. After a while I told him I...Read More...

Hi True North. Thanks for your reply. I have bought up my concerns especially about the no-talking and no reassurance numerous times...that is why I just stopped talking last time. I was getting no support. I'm not saying that T has to be a cheerleader, but what's the point of having therapy if it just truly does replicate the past? I had another therapist for several years and I felt supported, T talked and was engaging with me, and reassured me when appropriate. It was difficult and there...Read More...

Thanks SG, I read your post last night and tried to reply but I guess the site was being serviced. Thank you for seeing how important what happened yesterday was for me. I wasn't sure anyone would see that....so yes, I got what you said and thanks again. It is painful to be in misery without relief so to find something that works and helps the kid inside is very cool. I am still totally amazed at how our brain/nervous system and body are connected and can work together to help us get better...Read More...

Dear IHTS, Do not Give Up! Does your T believe in EMDR?? It went a long way in helping me to eliminate or at least it took the power away from intrusive thoughts that just made me miserable. LunaRead More...

Hi all! Thanks for the word of encouragement AG...they mean a lot. I still haven't made my decision which is terrible as I know it is my way of taking the easy route..not making the decision so that I run out of time. SG....well done on the work in your sessions. The boundary thing scares me so much I never feel like I can cross it at all. I once sent an email to him when I thought I was in danger of doing something really stupid and felt terrible when he rang me back straight away..I do NOT...Read More...

HB, Not possible since I want to be you when I grow up. The master should not sit at the feet of the student. AGRead More...

Hi I'm OK, Sorry I have taken so long to respond! Life keeps intruding. My T's office has a recliner which he sits in and across from it is a loveseat and chair. I sit on the left side of the loveseat both during my couples session and my individual sessions. (There are a couple of pillows on the loveseat which I love to clutch for comfort!). My husband sits in the chair. We tried switching once and got really uncomfortable. Like sleeping on the wrong side of the bed. There's a large round...Read More...

Samy, I think it's great your T came to visit you in hospital. I hope you're feeling better! I think having rigid, unflexible boundaries is just as damaging for a client as not maintaining good enough boundaries. The boundaries should be based on the needs of the individual client so I don't think you're T did anything wrong in coming to visit you. I don't think you like her too much, I just think its scary to like her so much because in the past it was dangerous. But she's safe, so enjoy...Read More...

Hi Echo, While I agree that sometimes divorce is the right thing to do, and that staying in an abusive marriage can be worse for the kids than a divorce, I also believe that it should be a last resort. I know for me that getting involved outside my marriage was a clear symptom that something was missing in my marriage. But during counseling it became clear that at least part of the problem was my inability to get close to ANYONE. If I had left my husband, deciding that I had just chosen the...Read More...

Thank you, Attachment Girl. That was very insightful. I've got a lot to think about.Read More...

Mlc, Not at all!!! Sorry you felt that way. I've been on vacation and my posting has been few and far between, I'm trying to find some time to catch up because I've got so much to write. Please don't feel that way at all, you didn't nothing at all wrong. I've struggled with all the same feelings so there was nothing shocking in what you said. Life just gets in the way of posting sometimes. AGRead More...

Hi LTF--I am very curious about your 15yo self--why is it that you do have so little compassion for her? What was she like? Was she scared? What was she afraid of? What did she do that was so wrong? Do your feelings for her prevent you from taking care of yourself now? (I too have parts of me that I hate and consequently, I have a real hard time comforting myself now...the very thought of it fills me with such anger--)....very curious, mlcRead More...

Hi, I didn't read the thread you're referring to but here's one thing I've learned about transference so far; I think you can have it and not even realise it. For example, there have been times where I was so furious with my therapist that I wanted to tell him to go F himself and never see him again because he said something that hurt me. It took a while to see that the hurt feelings - triggered by my T - were really kind of a referred pain from an original hurt from my father...or my...Read More...

Hi emogirl and welcome to the forum! I'm so glad that you've been helped by what you've read here. You should be really proud of yourself for going to your T and being open about your feelings, it's a very scary thing to do. And it's great your T reacted so well. I have really found that being as open about my feelings with my T as I'm capable of has really helped me to heal. And you'll find a lot of support and wisdom here for what you're going through. Looking forward to getting to know...Read More...

Hi BW: congrats on the publications!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Read More...