Catgirl, I am glad you got to watch with your daughter, and be with her. It sounds like your mom was a very strong woman. The picture you shared show your love for her. "It made me really miss my mom. Death just sucks" Keep drawing on your strength, and look for all of the warm memories you have stored, to sustain you. If it helps to talk about your mom, I will chat anytime. whereami.Read More...

Hi HBShadow, I have a REALLY incredible T. He has 30 years of experience and a very deep understanding of attachment issues. He completely understands why I would need to contact him and considers it necessary to my healing that I learn to do so. I went through almost a year and a half of him telling me I could call or email at the end of every session, phone call and email. I once thanked him for not having a personal life, but he assured me that he was really comfortable setting any...Read More...

Wow - very wise words and good insight. I never would have thought about it like that. I will have to keep reminding myself of that. It is just so discouraging sometimes - I don't even trust her enough to take my coat off after a year and a half - I need it for protection - but in the summer it is so freakin! hot that I just melt into a puddle when I'm there. Thanks so very much for your responses.Read More...

Hey guys! I posted it, I posted it, I posted it!!!!!! Yay yay yay!!!!!!!! It's under the other "Are You My Mother," and it's a photo gallery. You can read it and make comments if you click on "comments." Please let me know whacha think, K? MeowRead More...

There are a few different ways he expresses it. Sometimes I piss him off enough to yell at me a little. But the good thing is I know with him that when I make him mad, no matter how mad he gets, he still cares and will be there for me. He expresses it much like a parent would towards a child who has done something wrong and something that the child has been told over and over again not to do. But in the end he always lets me know everything is okay. And him expressing it to me actually helps...Read More...

Hey sorry CT, I am not good with using quotes yet. It looks like it did not work in my last post when I tried to quote from your post!.Read More...

It used to be that I was sure that any feelings I thought I had were "wrong" in the sense that I couldn't know what they were, so if I told anyone, they would correct me. In this way, I had a terrible time talking about my feelings because I was so sure I'd be wrong. Not wrong as in bad, but wrong as if I told someone that the value of PI is 4. For me, it just took a lot of time, and small steps. I tell my P about something I was feeling, and he reacted positively, and so I felt encouraged...Read More...

wow......you guys are so responzive and supportive. thank you all. I kind of really fucked up with my T. now. I am a total idiot. I was drunk the other night and text my T. asking if he will ever answer my email because I sent him an email like...5 days ago. he then emailed me back saying he was going too that night? I then text him about 6 more times saying how i felt. the texts were readable but just...i was drunk and i was being stupid and i am such an idiot!!!! so then he left me a...Read More...

BW, You're probably right. I'm curious to know why you say this. Does everyone experience it when therapy is working? Stressed Out, Sure! Anytime! catRead More...

Well, to start with, you could talk to your T about reducing the frequency of your sessions. At one point, I thought I was about ready to stop therapy, so we switched from weekly to bi-weekly sessions. We discussed reducing them further until I just came back when I needed to. I don't think it's necessary to go "cold turkey." In my case, I did sabotaged myself, but that is part of the stuff I'm working on now.Read More...

Hi Jo, Mic and HB. So nice to know I am not the only one who has plotted violence against others. Before therapy I was convinced I was an evil person. I am learning my thoughts of violence was all about survival. When my sister and I were younger we use to plot ways to kill my dad. We suffered mightily at his hands. He has been dead for nearly 11 years and I still thank God he is gone. How sad to have lived a life such as his and to leave a wife and three kids behind who did not grieve his...Read More...

Hi HB, Jo, thanks so much for saying hello too, it's so lovely having people respond and means a lot to me! Jo, I'm doing a lot of arts and creative education projects. All of which seem to bunch up at the moment. But I've booked myself into a couple of retreats this summer not to lose sight of the important things in life SBRead More...

Ive had cranial sacral work done for pain and I never had a emotional reaction to it... ive had a number of massage therapies done and it helped a lot... loooove it but for me, the emotional part is having the right massage therapist. ... i find that's the big deal and can make a difference. I had a therapist that was good but i felt tense ... however i had someone really wonderfuil work with me a long time and even male shockingly. but i felt trust and it was great.Read More...

Hi songbird!Read More...

Hi HB, I'm so sorry to hear about all of the things that are going on with and around you. I can only sit here and imagine having to live through and deal with fear on a daily basis. I commend you and your family for wanting to stay in your area to do something to invoke change. I'm glad that your uncle will heal physically, but sad that he and your aunt will have to live with this memory. I'll include you and your family in my prayers at church this evening. Be safe! SO .. formally HollyBaby0Read More...

Hi all. This is my favorite song right now and I just thought I'd post the lyrics in case anyone was interested/shared my taste in music. Awful Direction by The Almost Life has given me the, me the creeps I need you to make, to make, to make me weak I have made my world my own, I've made it my own And I have never been so alone I can't stop my brain from moving in an awful direction Lord I can't stop my hands from doing what I don't want to do anymore I've been wrong I've been right but...Read More...

HI CG That's so sweet that they have such a ceremony Sometimes we get caught up in our own grief during milestones that are important to us, and forget about the children, and the milestones they encounter where the loss of a loved one affects them. I'm glad that you were home to be able to comfort your daughter when she needed you. Your mom's spirit will be with you both at the milestones that come your way, so in essence she is sharing them with you, in your heart and your memories I know,...Read More...

Its a lot like the previous sims games with more stuff. They fixed some really annoying stuff, like having your house-mate/spouce's alarm clocks wake up all the sims in the room. There is no longer the painful "loading" screens to get to other places in town. Character creation is more sane. Fewer sliders to make your sim look awful. I'm somewhat disappointed in the clothing / hair / etc selections. I think they want to use the micro-transaction model to keep you buying all that stuff.Read More...

just my fast thought here.. sometimes younger is good for fresh new perspective.. eager and energetic.. non burnt out... i say that b/c i ran into the same issue.. was so used to my older wiser T... ended up witn somehome my age.. didnt think i could handle that... she was one of the best therapist i ever had and because of her fresh perspectives, she was very perceptive and caught onto stuff my pld T never did... and i honestly think it's because my older T is used to the routine and while...Read More...

Hi again TN, I love your reln' with your T! That is awesome...I'm happy for you that he listens and gives you credit for your half of the reln'. Here is a breakdown of Herman's book.... PART 1: TRAUMATIC DISORDERS Chp 1. A Forgotten History Chp 2. Terror Chp 3. Disconnection Chp 4. Captivity Chp 5. Child Abuse Chp 6. A New Diagnosis PART II: STAGES OF RECOVERY Chp 7. A Healing Relationship Chp 8. Safety Chp 9. Remembrance and Mourning Chp 10. Reconnection Chp 11. Commonality Yes, this book...Read More...

Hi SD ~ Welcome , A year ago I was where you are . Same sort of symptoms; Difficulties at work (work was actually the catalyst), relationship issues to the point of a seperation being suggested by my partner, I was extremely moody, had anxiety attacks, and severe depressive behaviors (crying, confused, sleeping, self loathing). It took me a couple of months before I woke up one mornign and said what you have "I want to be ME again", so I went to the dr. She did some bloodwork/tests to rule...Read More...

Lexi, I sixth that motion. I think many of us here struggle or have struggled with many of the feelings that you are struggling with (feeling like we are losers, feeling like things are all our fault, and even hating ourselves). We understand it. We're not scared of it. We're here for you. catgirlRead More...

Hi Pippi... I'm so sorry you are suffering with this. In my opinion you could be dealing with feelings of abandonment by this T and that could be triggering things from your past. Of course, I don't know anything about your past or why you are in therapy but it may be worth looking at with your P. And yes, you could also be feeling "OMG, what if my P does this too?" That is a perfectly normal reaction. All of this is very valid to either bring up with your P and/or this T. Another thought...Read More...

River- I'm glad you're still around and am sorry to hear you're out of a job. I'm sure this whole thing is overwhelming... I HATE PHONE CALLS TOO! I just wanted to second CG's inquiry... How's the internship? Let us know! -CTRead More...

Emerald- I'm sorry to hear your anxiety is getting harder to manage. I know this all must feel very overwhelming to you, but I encourage you not to run although you really want to (I know the power of that flight reflex!). Focus on the six months you do have... maybe make some goals you'd like to accomplish in the next six months with your t. What does your t say about her leaving? Are you going to keep seeing (over the next 6 months) the pdoc that is taking over for your t? It might help...Read More...