HI Linus .. I mean AG Did you just insinuate that I'm NUTS!!!!! ????? Cuz you could be in for a mouthful there girl! tsk tsk tsk Did this need a disclaimer attached? LOL I hope not Hmmm, incase you didn't get it ... Linus is the kid that drags his blankie around with him in Charlie Brown. Keep SMILING!! HollyRead More...

THANK YOU! Your reassurances of being here during this difficult time is a relief! I so appreciate all of you. I will try to check in here every day and comment. Thanks for being here for me.Read More...

MP, I don't know that much about your background so this may be way off, but you mentioned abandonment issues. What I have learned through my relationship with my T that I was really unaware of before working with him is that moving close to someone evokes a lot of fear and a desire to head in the other direction because it turned out so badly before. As we let down our guard and start to trust, our relationship template know as our attachment style, kicks in and tells us we're in danger and...Read More...

SB, Most survivors of abuse feel the same way (I know I did for a LONG time) because to believe that it really was your parents fault when you were a child was to lose your "good" parent who was necessary to your survival. It would also leave you face to face with an overwhelming sense of powerlessness and your inability to change what was happening to you. If it was your fault, then you "might" be able to fix it so you retained some sense of control over what was essentially a very out of...Read More...

I'm supposed to be on my way out to the Shrink already .. but this is always a more enjoyable place to be in the morning LTF Sorry for assuming you hadn't read my post to SG, you seemed far too supportive to have done so. I'm glad that you didn't find me to be too abrasive in it and supported my opinion. I've realised though that I was inappropriate and should have proceeded differently, expecially considering I had never exchanged notes with SG before and hadn't developed an idea of how...Read More...

Thank you (((CG)))Read More...

Catgirl, Thank you for responding so thoughtfully to my post. I am not at all offended and I appreciate you hearing me. Sorry I didn't answer earlier, I was having a totally unrelated meltdown. And honestly, my emotional reaction felt like I might have been triggered which means I was reacting to more than was going on. So the same here, I'm sorry if I hurt you or offended you. And I definitely didn't mean to send you towards a pit; this isn't even close to anything that bad. I hope we're...Read More...

River, I echo your sentiments. I have now talked about the transference, or we call it attachment, stuff many times with my T, yet every time, I feel like it's the first time all over again. She has only responded in a kind, loving way, so these feelings come from me. Here's what happens with me. I'm always down on the floor wrapped up in a blanket and my jacket, usually on my tummy with my face to the ground. She is usually down there next to me with her hand on my back or head or holding...Read More...

Jo, That sounds nice. To all: Thanks for your concern. My fever finally broke last night! Yay! I'm still exhausted and mending. I was getting a little concerned there, as I was having urges to oink and roll in the mud. I thought I might grow a curly tail and a snout. catgirl (NOT piggirl)Read More...

Wow! What a beautiful way of looking at this. I have passed these amazing words on to the mother. Thanks so much!Read More...

not a therapist, but from my angle, maybe you have already had that kind of sexual experience, and maybe you don't consciously remember it? I agree that a licensed therapist who has experience with these sorts of issues would be the best place to go. Good luck and don't beat yourself up.Read More...

Hi Sorry for taking so long to get back, I was away on a clothes spending spree. Losing weight has it's perks where the wardrobe is concerned! Thanks for your comments I've been trying to find something on the net about what someone who wasn't nurtured would look/act like (profile), but haven't had much luck. I hate it when she (P) says things and I don't ask about them right away. I tend to obsess about them until my next appointment. " Maybe your ability to nurture all of those people when...Read More...

CT - I hope your trip goes OK. I know what you mean about being out of your comfort zone and your routine. Hang in there, you will be back before you know it, and then the very next day, you will be in your T's office. I'll be waiting to hear how your vacation goes. OWRead More...

Hi catgirl, Sorry i didn't reply, i didn't see this message! I actually realised i wasn't dependant on my T because I got quite angry at her for something she did (I felt she broke my confidence a little) and did not have any contact for a few weeks. During that time i was able to lean on my friends for support, and although i missed my T, i realised the dependence was not unhealthy and that made me more comfortable with our entire relationship, and with the therapy process. Someone also...Read More...

Tina, Hear, hear! cargirlRead More...

BTW, if it feels discouraging, it's probably not the right person for you.Read More...

Which, by the way, might be the most difficult and painful thing you've ever done. Sometimes therapists don't mention this detail. So true, especially the "the ridiculousness of the VAGUE" part. I think my initial response was, "ok, that sounds kind of hard...how long does this generally take?" I would echo what CT says, especially the leak analogy. That's it in a nutshell. Russ RussRead More...

Thanks HollyBaby and QueenGrey your comments were helpful. H- I will tell him how I feel about our sessions next time. When I started with him, he kept pushing me to move on - but I wasnt ready to do that until I sensed he really understood the depth of the problem and who I am . Now we've delved so much into the past, I really do want the guidance to move on. Q- Your comment about finding the authenticity rather than finding one specific answer is helpful - I know I went in thinking (and I...Read More...

Summer and QG, I started antidepressants in the beginning of March, and have been pleased with the results, and will continue with them for a while. About the time my ADs kicked in, a friend of mine started taking enzymes for anxiety. We both started having very similar results-hers were immediate, mine had taken 1-4 weeks to take effect. She feels like they have given her major relief from her anxiety, and allowed her to continue looking at and working on her issues with her therapist. I'm...Read More...

Hi summer! I was going to say good evening to you but I am not sure where you hail from. Could be day time where you are. Yeah smell is a VERY personal thing. I read once that smell is our most ingrained memory because our olfactory system or whatever you call it is so close to our brains. I guess it's right up in the middle of our brains. My old old T, the one who I saw for over a decade and left last year used to tell me I smelled good too because of some cologne I used to wear. I liked...Read More...

Hi...and welcome salcostello..... I guess I am a bit confused about what you are asking. And would like to encourage you to elaborate a bit more on what you are seeking to confirm. It seems like you are looking for the origin of the usage of "I" statements...is that correct? That is...I statements vs. You statements....the assertive vs. the aggressive type of statement? If you are looking for the origin...I personally cannot help you there. I don't think it is attributed to any one...Read More...

Totally, CT! I would assume that what you are saying is that you respect yourself, your needs, and your sadness. Good for you!Read More...

“This is what is hardest: to close the open hand because one loves.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~Read More...

I'd like to see some numbers. How many people go through this intense transference in therapy? Also, how have these people succeeded in resolving it. I always think, well it will resolve when I'm done with therapy. But then I fear that if it doesn't get resolved correctly, I'll attach onto someone else in an unhealthy way again. Does anyone know where to get numbers on this? I asked my T how often she deals with this, she waited a long time. I finally said, "It was a serious question." She...Read More...

thanks to everyone for the warm welcome! Hope to talk to you all moreRead More...