Thank you all. I aprriciate your support. My T has been a T for thirty plus years and has around seven years to retirement. I do not mean to be rude, but I think she is burned out and should start thinking about retirment. She is very set in her ways and does not like to bend. She mentions boundaries a lot. I have trouble setting boundaries but I do not cross other peoples boundaries. I have a past with married women. I have never persued them or crossed that boundary. They wanted to go out...Read More...

Wisdom, I had it just a year ago this month. I did not have radiation thanks to changing guidelines! I am in the process of doing follow-up. Dr. X says I am cured but I don't agree. It makes me nervous when he says that. SGRead More...

Hi IHTS... Thanks for noticing me.....*she said in her best Eeyore voice* LOL...... I haven't yet said hello to you...but I have been reading. I'm trying to catch up on posting. I'm glad you decided to join up here...your posts have been most interesting. In regard to your question...I have to say...NO...I do not think people are as loyal and trustworthy as our dogs are. I think that dogs are a different type of attachment.....often a more profound attachment. It is more difficult, for some...Read More...

Hi everyone.....thanks for all of your replies. They are really informative...I haven't discussed my personal feeling of anger with many others or related it to my therapy so this is great. It is awful though, that you all have to deal with this stuff too. I went to my appt yesterday after work and it was really...stupid. I tried to keep her at bay, was thinking maybe she doesn't know what she's doing and what if she can't handle me and all I bring to this? All the time there, I was...Read More...

I sent a forward to your e-mail I hope you got it this time. Have a good day.Read More...

Jo....and Wiz....I'm sorry both of you have had to go through all of this....especially the stress of it all. I think the stress is worse than any of the procedures. I too know what it is like. I have to do an endometrial Bx every time I have a pap. It's not fun...and I often put it off for as long as I can. My Dr. hates that. My breasts are not really an issue, since I had a reduction done 10 years ago and don't really have much breast tissue left. My mother had breast cancer...but is in...Read More...

CT -- I think its possible to believe that religion is not necessarily a bad thing. I honestly think that therapy is a form of spirituality (the 20th-21st century kind). Many people at the many churches I've attended are excellent people and seem very well-adjusted and content, so kudos to them! For me, walking into a church feels like walking into a bubble. My childhood was a study of dividing the world into good guys and bad guys, with no one in between. If I didn't behave like a good...Read More...

CT I am always a little paranoid that I'm going to screw up the relationship with my T and he'll drop me as a client. Today, he said (a little exasperated), "It seems like you are always trying to convince me that you are so horrible, and to tell you that you are bad but I'm not going to do it! That isn't what I think about you! You are just you, so there isn't any judgment involved." Of course, I was mortified. lolRead More...

{{{{{{ Catgirl }}}}}}Read More...

A number of years ago, I asked about a diagnosis. My therapist kindly tells me that I'm "troubled" and we left it at that. Lately, I've been sort of struggling with the question again, I've got a different therapist now. But then, I kind of like "troubled" - it does the job and doesn't make me feel like I'm ill or broken, just ... experiencing technical difficultiesRead More...

Russ, It sounds so familiar. I was always wanting my T to fix it for me. To give me the answers or to fix me. That was me wanting to be rescued by her. I still do want to be rescued. I'm not over that yet. I know now that she can't fix every problem that I have, but now I want her to adopt me and be my mom. If she does that, she'll fix it all for me. . . and she will rescue me, and through rescuing me, she will abandon me, so I know that she won't do that. That's why this transference thing...Read More...

Its not at all bad to have the sexual fantasies for you T whether they are male or female. Everyone has them. I think about having sex with my P all the time. I havent told him that yet but I am sure he knows and it will come up some time. But I do have a T that I have also been working through transference with through email, and I told him everything I think about. Its easier to be honest through email when you dont have to see their face when they hear what you are saying. My T tells me...Read More...

Yes! I'm so glad we're back too! Thanks Shrinklady!Read More...

Thanks Holly !Read More...

Did you say before that he said you could contact him by phone, but just for three months? If you think it might help to slowly let go, then go ahead and make the calls (with fewer expectations, like you said above). I have continued contact with my son's T, who I became very attached to. We stopped seeing her in December, but I still see her in town occasionally and at a parent support group every month or so. I have emailed her occasionally and talked with her a little about some issues...Read More...

Re: The Angry B***H WithinRead More...

I miss my therapist. She's out of town for two weeks. I usually see her on Mon and Wed, and she calls me on Fridays. So, it's so hard to not have any contact with her. She gave me 6 short letters for when she's gone, one for each day that I usually have contact with her. I have been strictly instructed to open them on the day that I usually talk with her. So, I opened one on Wed., and I get to open one tomorrow, Yay! I'm counting time based on these cards. 1 down, 5 to go! I'm still having...Read More...

Please do, Tina, Please do. I hope it goes well and that you are able to say everything you want to say. You are very brave and I hope you and your T recognize this. Good luck! -CTRead More...

River Today, I asked my T if she feels hurt when I'm angry toward her. She said, "Generally, no, I try to figure out where it's coming from, but if your particularly rough, it does. I am human, after all" So, I guess it does sometimes hurt her feelings after all. I'm glad she was honest with me. catgirlRead More...

Summer, Those mixed messages must be hard! It would be so very painful and frustrating! He's probably conflicted himself. I'm glad you were able to share your thoughts and feelings in a letter, though. It's very strong of you to let it go, and not go through with the final session. It's good that you have your new T to work through this with. Good luck through all of this! CatgirlRead More...

OW, I guess I am dealing with it head on, then. I gave my therapist a long letter, explaining how I felt about the whole thing. I told her directly that I wish she was my mom and why. After the letter, we didn't really process it much. I saw her today, but I didn't want to bring up these issues, because I won't see her again for 2 weeks. (I usually see her twice a week, plus she calls me once a week, so the idea of not seeing her for 2 weeks is killing me.) I didn't want to bring this up,...Read More...

Thanks! i always second-guess my own reactions. STill haven't found a bag of pinecones that Samy collected... but that's about it at this point! RobinRead More...

Dysfunctional family behaviors/patterns/illnesses are often inherited by generations to pass.Read More...

Your have courage .......... WizRead More...

CT, HB thanks for this exchange! I have been at my mum's for a week and reading your thoughts on guilt is a great reminder of why I'm feeling shit. And to soften those inner voices if nothing else. SBRead More...